Please help me graciously accept this gift

[Anonymous]

I'm celebrating a milestone birthday. I'm also struggling seriously with depression that meds and therapy have not yet helped.

My siblings (whom I love, and they mean well) asked what I wanted as a gift and I said nothing, since I am not a big celebrator of birthdays even in the best of times.

They gifted me a certificate for an expensive, COVID-safe activity with my family that is so far from anything I'd want to do right now that I wept when I opened the email this morning. Thankfully I was alone.

Please help me find the words to thank them in the spirit in which this was given, because right now I can't find them.

[Anonymous]

Hmm...is it like a time-sensitive thing, like for an event on a specific date, or a certificate that expires?

[Anonymous]

I would keep it short. That's always the key for me when I'm struggling with a thank you. I'd go with something like:

Dear Fam,
Thank you so much for thinking of me on my birthday this year! I know I told you that I didn't want anything this year, but I was so touched when I got the gift certificate. I've decided to save it as a reward for getting through this pandemic and as something to look forward to. But I promise to send pictures when I do! It really means a lot to me that you all thought of me during what I know is a challenging time for everyone. Much love, Larla

[Anonymous]

Hang in there, OP.

[Anonymous]

I'll bite. What is the activity?

[Anonymous]

Could you send your DH and the kids and use that time to get a break?

[Anonymous]

Use any script for a gracious thank you.

BUT, consider doing the activity. It doesn't really matter what it is. You're depressed. You can't think clearly at the moment. Maybe you need this activity and maybe your family knows it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would keep it short. That's always the key for me when I'm struggling with a thank you. I'd go with something like:

Dear Fam,
Thank you so much for thinking of me on my birthday this year! I know I told you that I didn't want anything this year, but I was so touched when I got the gift certificate. I've decided to save it as a reward for getting through this pandemic and as something to look forward to. It really means a lot to me that you all thought of me during what I know is a challenging time for everyone. Much love, Larla

The above, minus promises of any kind. just because someone gave you a present doesn't mean you have to use it. Focus should be 100% on your mental health. Hugs to you, OP, our child has really struggled during the pandemic with depression & it was really debilitating for DC. I hope you can find treatment that helps your suffering.

[Anonymous]

It really depends what it is, OP. I'm not the kind of person that blindly appreciates things just because they're gifts, so for me that would be important.

You should also separate the generous gesture from your medical status, and thank them sincerely while explaining that right now it's going to be hard for you to enjoy the gift.

If it's something that is objectively healthy and positive, then perhaps you could consider it not as a gift, but as a therapy exercise for your depression. As in, grind your teeth and do it and perhaps it might make you temporarily feel better afterward? Again, it really depends what it is!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would keep it short. That's always the key for me when I'm struggling with a thank you. I'd go with something like:

Dear Fam,
Thank you so much for thinking of me on my birthday this year! I know I told you that I didn't want anything this year, but I was so touched when I got the gift certificate. I've decided to save it as a reward for getting through this pandemic and as something to look forward to. It really means a lot to me that you all thought of me during what I know is a challenging time for everyone. Much love, Larla

The above, minus promises of any kind. just because someone gave you a present doesn't mean you have to use it. Focus should be 100% on your mental health. Hugs to you, OP, our child has really struggled during the pandemic with depression & it was really debilitating for DC. I hope you can find treatment that helps your suffering.

Agreed, no promises. More like this:

Thank you so much for thinking of me on my birthday this year!I was so touched when I got the gift certificate. It really means a lot to me that you all thought of me during what I know is a challenging time for everyone. Much love,

[Anonymous]

Agree with PPs to give a gracious thanks. I read something (probably in a clutter/get yourself organized book) that your only responsibility is to accept a gift graciously and then so with it what you like. Same goes for something you give someone - you put thought into it and you should enjoy the feeling of giving the gift but what they do with it is theirs to solve.

[Anonymous]

Why did you cry?

[Anonymous]

Is is a activity for you, your spouse and kids. Or is the issue it’s for the givers of the gift to do with you? So they will know if you do not do it?

[Anonymous]

Tell them what you ARE thankful for..."Thank you for thinking of me and and being so kind and generous. I love that you guys worked together to make my birthday special" You don't have to gush about the gift itself, but appreciate the thought and effort.

[Anonymous]

They are trying, Op. They are trying.
Be honest. Open up to them about your issues. You need to talk to someone. They may not understand fully. They may think you are just under alot of stress. They may not even understand fully. Be honest, even if they don't understand fully. Those that do not have depression does not know what it's like. So, let people help you. Find someone to talk to.