It’s okay for kids to not get everything they want, right?

[Anonymous]

My almost-4yo has some consistent and deep desires - like a porch swing, and baby dolls that she sees in books. I ignore them, because she has a tree swing (that she doesn’t like) and access to the swings at local parks, as well as several dolls already, and I don’t want to clutter up the porch/house. Is it mean of me to ignore these specific wishes?

[Anonymous]

Of course not.

[Anonymous]

Of course they don’t get whatever they want! Rush to fill every desire and you end up with a kid that wants moremoremore and is not happy or doesn’t have the coping skills to deal with life when they don’t get their way.

[Anonymous]

For no reason? Not mean.

For special gift-giving occasions like birthday/Christmas? You should absolutely gift what *she* wants (within reason) vs what *you* want

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For no reason? Not mean.

For special gift-giving occasions like birthday/Christmas? You should absolutely gift what *she* wants (within reason) vs what *you* want

+1

[Anonymous]

Of course it’s fine! Just want to note, though, that a porch swing fills a very different role than a regular swing. It’s a place to sit with others (rather than alone) and, since it’s on the front porch, a place to talk to neighbors. It’s more like a public rocking chair than a swing. (My parents have one.)

[Anonymous]

Does she not have any baby dolls? Maybe I would get one. Not necessarily all the accessories that come with them though. Seems like it would be small, though I dont know. My DD and I are doll lovers, but never got into baby dolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My almost-4yo has some consistent and deep desires - like a porch swing, and baby dolls that she sees in books. I ignore them, because she has a tree swing (that she doesn’t like) and access to the swings at local parks, as well as several dolls already, and I don’t want to clutter up the porch/house. Is it mean of me to ignore these specific wishes?

I agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she not have any baby dolls? Maybe I would get one. Not necessarily all the accessories that come with them though. Seems like it would be small, though I dont know. My DD and I are doll lovers, but never got into baby dolls.

She already said that HER DD has dolls! One doll is sufficient for any child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course it’s fine! Just want to note, though, that a porch swing fills a very different role than a regular swing. It’s a place to sit with others (rather than alone) and, since it’s on the front porch, a place to talk to neighbors. It’s more like a public rocking chair than a swing. (My parents have one.)

I love the idea of a porch swing, but the porch is the only shady part of our house where she can play during hot summers (the deck is in sun most of the day) so I want to keep it clear so we have room for chalk drawings, etc.

[Anonymous]

Not only is it OK for kids not to get everything they want, it is vital that they do not.

[Anonymous]

Ofcourse it's fine. The kid even doesn't want all this crap, she just thinks she wants it. There is no excitement about stuff is she gets them all. The excitement is the good part. I got few dolls during my childhood and I remember the feeling more than the dolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she not have any baby dolls? Maybe I would get one. Not necessarily all the accessories that come with them though. Seems like it would be small, though I dont know. My DD and I are doll lovers, but never got into baby dolls.

She already said that HER DD has dolls! One doll is sufficient for any child.

Yes, but are they baby dolls? Maybe she should find out why her DD wants a new doll. Is it just for the newness of an item or is there something specific her DD is looking for? Your statement is very rigid.

[Anonymous]

It’s not okay for a kid to get everything she wants, actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not okay for a kid to get everything she wants, actually.

Agree. IMO it's a form of bad parenting.