Inclusive to the point it's giving me anxiety?

[Anonymous]

Has anyone experienced this? I really hate larger social circles. I find it so difficult because I'm a sensitive person who is very aware of hurting people if they left out. I am very much "more the merrier" but obviously many situations call for a small group. I have a really hard time with this being in a large group of about a dozen women that talk frequently and are all connected.

I have a trip planned with 2 families. (We are all vaccinated with young kids). Another friend knew we were going and asked me to remind her the dates to be included. She's a very good friend and I hate to not include her but at the same time, I worry about the other 2 families being put off.

[Anonymous]

Did you tell her about the trip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her about the trip?

Yes, before Covid we planned this and told the group of a dozen ladies our dates in a text and said anyone is welcome to get a nearby rental so we are all there the same time. During Covid, as you can imagine socializing came to a halt and friendships shifted and changed. She hasn't seen the other 2 families once in the last year and I think everyone's in a less is more mindset right now. I didn't bring it up again at all but she brought it up to me and we just so happened to have rescheduled a few weeks ago for this summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her about the trip?

Yes, before Covid we planned this and told the group of a dozen ladies our dates in a text and said anyone is welcome to get a nearby rental so we are all there the same time. During Covid, as you can imagine socializing came to a halt and friendships shifted and changed. She hasn't seen the other 2 families once in the last year and I think everyone's in a less is more mindset right now. I didn't bring it up again at all but she brought it up to me and we just so happened to have rescheduled a few weeks ago for this summer.

I would check with the other families first, but why not just say, sorry the plans were already solidified?

[Anonymous]

So you basically invited the whole group and now that she wants to go the invitation is rescinded? And you haven’t asked the other families what they think about the fourth family joining?

[Anonymous]

In this specific case, you SHOULD feel bad about not including everyone who was initially invited.

AT LEAST there should have been a "Hey, I know we all wanted to do this together, but because of the pandemic, I don't think Oglebay for all of our families is going to work this year. Can we circle back and plan this all together for 2022?"

AND THEN it would be fine to plan with a sub-group, but at a different location.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you basically invited the whole group and now that she wants to go the invitation is rescinded? And you haven’t asked the other families what they think about the fourth family joining?

+1 why are they not still welcome to get a “nearby rental”?

[Anonymous]

Let the other families know before you respond to make sure you are all on the same page.i would say we decided to go xxx to xxx. We would love to see you if you can find a rental nearby.

[Anonymous]

If this is a "very good" friend I think you should tell her what dates you are going, especially since you already invited her earlier in the year. Then just let the other families know. I wouldn't "check-in" with them first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is a "very good" friend I think you should tell her what dates you are going, especially since you already invited her earlier in the year. Then just let the other families know. I wouldn't "check-in" with them first.

Ok I’ll probably do this. I just wasn’t sure because we are all vaccinated and some aren’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In this specific case, you SHOULD feel bad about not including everyone who was initially invited.

AT LEAST there should have been a "Hey, I know we all wanted to do this together, but because of the pandemic, I don't think Oglebay for all of our families is going to work this year. Can we circle back and plan this all together for 2022?"

AND THEN it would be fine to plan with a sub-group, but at a different location.

This! You don’t feel guilty because you’re soooo inclusive. You feel guilty because you majorly bungled this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is a "very good" friend I think you should tell her what dates you are going, especially since you already invited her earlier in the year. Then just let the other families know. I wouldn't "check-in" with them first.

Ok I’ll probably do this. I just wasn’t sure because we are all vaccinated and some aren’t.

How did you get your young children vaccinated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is a "very good" friend I think you should tell her what dates you are going, especially since you already invited her earlier in the year. Then just let the other families know. I wouldn't "check-in" with them first.

Ok I’ll probably do this. I just wasn’t sure because we are all vaccinated and some aren’t.

How did you get your young children vaccinated?

Parents are vaccinated and our kids are young and in preschool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this specific case, you SHOULD feel bad about not including everyone who was initially invited.

AT LEAST there should have been a "Hey, I know we all wanted to do this together, but because of the pandemic, I don't think Oglebay for all of our families is going to work this year. Can we circle back and plan this all together for 2022?"

AND THEN it would be fine to plan with a sub-group, but at a different location.

This! You don’t feel guilty because you’re soooo inclusive. You feel guilty because you majorly bungled this.

The plan was always for our small group to have one home together. We planned it with the dates we could do and then extended a casual “we will be at the beach this week if anyone else wants to get a nearby rental”.... the family that wants to go actually did have a rental that didn’t fall through and went this summer with another family in the group.

We had a credit to the home because the homeowner took it off the rental market so we are just using our credit.
I am fine with anyone going but the other families are a bit more concerned with a huge group. It was no ones intention to exclude anyone. I’m fine inviting them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her about the trip?

Yes, before Covid we planned this and told the group of a dozen ladies our dates in a text and said anyone is welcome to get a nearby rental so we are all there the same time. During Covid, as you can imagine socializing came to a halt and friendships shifted and changed. She hasn't seen the other 2 families once in the last year and I think everyone's in a less is more mindset right now. I didn't bring it up again at all but she brought it up to me and we just so happened to have rescheduled a few weeks ago for this summer.

j

You can’t uninvite her.