Thoughts on TTC after Miscarriage

[Anonymous]

I had a natural miscarriage in January. I waited one cycle and started TTC in Feb. I thought I was pregnant but actually got my AF today. I have decided to wait about 4 months before trying again. Has anyone else waited 4 months or longer after a miscarriage before trying again? I think it will be better for my state of mind. I have become to obsessed with ovulation and TTC and I am not sure if it is healthy. However, I am wondering if I will have regrets because I am not sure whether I will have problems TTC or not. I am 35 right now and do have one son, who was the product of a healthy pregnancy. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I had a m/c at 8 weeks in 2008. I tried the first month after to conceive and it didn't work out. I had the same thoughts as you did - it was very frustrating. I waited for five cycles and then tried again. We got pregnant that first time - I was 33. It doesn't seem to me that you should have any reason to believe that you will have difficulties conceiving. You have now been pregnant twice, although, I don't know how long it took you to get there. Please make sure you go through the grieving process for the m/c. I thought I was ok the first month after, it took me longer than I thought it would emotionally. Also know that statistically, you are very likely to go on to a very normal healthy pregnancy. Good luck and so sorry for your loss!

[Anonymous]

I am right there with you...I had a natural miscarriage in early December. Waited one cycle. TTC'd again first cycle -- didn't get pregnant, and got my period 4 days early (maybe bc my cycle's still a little off bc of m/c?). The unexpectedly early period, and the disappointed, just reminded me of my miscarriage. Also, even already, I do not like how my moods are tied to my cycle -- very sad during period and leading up to ovulation, excited at ovulation, obsessively paying attention to every sign in the 2ww, feeling sad/mad for every sign that seems negative, elated at every slightly positive sign.

But, I think waiting would be even harder for me.

[Anonymous]

TTC is not a race. I had a miscarriage in Oct and am just getting back on the wagon. Wasn't mentally ready before. You ahve to remember that the TTC *after* a miscarriage is much more stressful beecause of the constant fear of another miscarriage. You knwo yourself. Give yourself the best gift of all -= the time you need for a mentally healthy pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

13:05 poster - that is exactly how I feel. That is why I started to question if I was ready. I do understand not waiting though. But after thinking about this some more, I think I am going to wait awhile. I don't like the fact that I am obssessing over getting pregnant. I have gotten pregnant both times so easily so I was expecting to get pregnant this time the exact same way. I cannot continue to obssess every month like I did this past month. It is really wearing me down and causing me to have insomnia. I am startin accupuncture tomorrow. I hope that helps with my stress level.

[Anonymous]

I was told to wait 6 mos. due to complications with my miscarriage and it felt like a death sentence at first but I think it worked out for the best- 6 months passed and I was at a much better place emotionally to start trying again. I got pregnant again on the second cycle (I'm 35, and I also have an older child). It is still early but I am hopeful this time it will work out. TTC combined with m/c fears is a mindfuck, go easy on yourself.

[Anonymous]

I just had a D&C a few weeks ago, and am one of those women who can't wait to start TTC again. I am 34 and we're working on our first baby. Can I ask how long it took others to get their period again? My doctor said it could take up to 3 months.

[Anonymous]

13:05 here .... got my period again, 2nd month ttc after m/c. Disappointing but not quite as upset as I was with the negative last month. I think that both of these cycles, though, my luteal phase was only 10 or 11 days, and both cycles were only 29 or 30 days -- normal is 32 days for me. I'm hoping this is just some kind of bad residual effect from the m/c and not a lasting problem. I'm hopeful for next month but also still sad.

For me, if I waited, I would be totally obsessing about when we were going to start ttc again, so it wouldn't be a break for me, I can't get it out of my mind.

[Anonymous]

To 13:05 poster... I had a m/c and d&c in December. I was late ovulating on my first cycle after m/c and had a ten day luteal phase vs. my normal 14 day LP. I had a late ovulation again on my second cycle and was concerned about a short LP, as I was starting estrogen priming for an IVF and a short LP could be a problem. I asked my RE if the change in menstrual cycles could be residual effects from the m/c and he said yes. One of the reasons they ask you to wait to ttc outside of the emotional part is so that your cycles can get back to normal.

[Anonymous]

PP -- thank you, that makes me feel better, gives me hope that maybe my cycles will be back to normal soon (now, I hope). I hope yours are doing the same.

[Anonymous]

I waited 7 months after a miscarriage to start TTC again. I needed to be a point where I could be hopeful about trying again, and it took that long for me to get there.

It took almost 10 weeks for my period to come back after the D&C.

[Anonymous]

For me, waiting would cause more anxiety because I already have guilt over not TTC earlier and worrying that time is against me.

[Anonymous]

Just got my period after a D&C about 5 weeks ago. Got cleared to TTC from my OB/GYN on first cycle after period, so we're going to start again this month. I have to tell you I'm scared to death of another miscarriage or not being able to get pg again. It took us 6 months to get pg last time and I'm only getting older. I fear that I won't be able to get pg and if I do, my eggs are so old, it will only end up badly again. But, we really want another child, so we're going to try and see what happens. We can't afford fertility treatments so if I'm not pg again w/ a healthy baby in next 6-12 months it's over for us. It's all very daunting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just got my period after a D&C about 5 weeks ago. Got cleared to TTC from my OB/GYN on first cycle after period, so we're going to start again this month. I have to tell you I'm scared to death of another miscarriage or not being able to get pg again. It took us 6 months to get pg last time and I'm only getting older. I fear that I won't be able to get pg and if I do, my eggs are so old, it will only end up badly again. But, we really want another child, so we're going to try and see what happens. We can't afford fertility treatments so if I'm not pg again w/ a healthy baby in next 6-12 months it's over for us. It's all very daunting.

I'm in a similar situation (37 y.o., 6 months of TTC and mc at 5 weeks), and all I can say is that I understand how you're feeling. Big hugs to you!

FWIW, I'm choosing to see my mc as a GOOD sign that we can indeed get pregnant, and if it was a bad egg, hopefully the next one will be a good one. We're thinking about it one-month-at-a-time -- not looking too far towards the horizon.

Above all else, good luck to you. Hopefully we'll both have happy news to share in the coming months!

P.S. I'm doing acupuncture this month to help with stress management as much as with fertility. Figured it's less expensive than IVF!

[Anonymous]

I started TTC after my first period following a miscarriage. The hormones were sort of crazy for about six weeks, then they calmed down and six weeks later I got pregnant and carried to term. Not to say you should do the same, because it's a very personal journey to recover from a miscarriage. Good luck in your recovery.