S/o: Physical Force

[Anonymous]

This is a spin off of the thread with the nanny who won’t physically block her 3 and 5yo charges from running away from her into the parents’ home office. Another nanny posted that she also never physically touches a child.

Are other nannies seriously not physically intervening with problem behavior in young children? I am not talking about spanking or anything punitive, just physically using your body to block a child from something dangerous or off-limits or with younger children picking them up and moving them to a different space to redirect? I do this all day with my 2, 3 and 5 yo charges. They all have times they don’t listen and moving them away from the situation is usually stage one of helping them to calm down and make a better choice. The 5yo is starting to be able to listen and step away from a tough situation on his own but honestly that is still only some of the time and at least once a week I have to physically put my body between him and a sibling or the tv remote or some other thing that he is interacting with in a way that is dangerous or just not allowed.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea this was a thing. Both my kids were held by our nannies all the time. My 18 month old has cranky teething moods and only wants to be snuggled some days. My 5 year old loves to join im but also needs to be carried or helped onto a big wall or something. I am very tactile and so are my kids. They could not be with a nanny that didn't touch them. And yes sometimes she needs to be blocked from something but its rare not but was very much needed when she was 2-3-4.

[Anonymous]

I read that post and took it as the nanny not running after them and stopping them from opening the door every time. Which she was probably sick of doing, so that’s understandable. I find it hard to believe a nanny wouldn’t grab a toddler from running in the street!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read that post and took it as the nanny not running after them and stopping them from opening the door every time. Which she was probably sick of doing, so that’s understandable. I find it hard to believe a nanny wouldn’t grab a toddler from running in the street!

No, she literally said she would not put her hands on them for fear of being accused of abuse!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea this was a thing. Both my kids were held by our nannies all the time. My 18 month old has cranky teething moods and only wants to be snuggled some days. My 5 year old loves to join im but also needs to be carried or helped onto a big wall or something. I am very tactile and so are my kids. They could not be with a nanny that didn't touch them. And yes sometimes she needs to be blocked from something but its rare not but was very much needed when she was 2-3-4.

Perhaps it depends on the state you live in.
Where I live, we have to be mandated reporters so if we not only see any suspicious bruises or markings on a child, we are bound by the law to report it whether or not we are right.

So if a parent sees even minor bruising on their child’s skin (and said child may say that Nanny twisted his/her arm, etc.) parents may be suspicious.
It’s the reason why many people do not want to work in childcare.
There is always that fear that a parent or child may suspect abuse & report it.
If a Nanny is suspected of abuse - she can get in legal hot water.

I know the post you are referencing.
Everyone responded for the Nanny to make the five year old walk when she was instructed by her MB to specifically push him in the stroller.
As Nannies, there are many times where we may disagree w/how our bosses do things regarding child-rearing, but if we do not respect the wishes of our bosses, then we are horrible employees.
Period.

If the Nanny took the advice offered, she likely would be out of a job.
Also, people were accusing her of being a lazy and incompetent Nanny.
I have had many jobs where one or more parents telecommute from home.
Younger kids tend to run to their parents whether they are hurt or have a question for the parent.
Why is a Nanny “not doing her job” if a child does not listen to the Nanny’s instruction to not interrupt the parent working??

The onus here is completely on the parents.
I would get tired of constantly chasing after a misbehaving charge.

I would move a younger child, maybe three + under.
But no way would I lift, carry or move a child that age like stated above.
If a child 5 years old did not listen to my directions, there would be either a time-out and it would be up to the parents to discipline the child.

No way should a disobedient child be in the care of a Nanny.

[Anonymous]

Continued ^^

I am not stating that I would never touch a child.
But in keeping w/the context of the post you are referencing, no if a five year old child ran away & played on a playground they were told not to, I would not use force in that situation to prevent said child from playing.
There are also people who may see this and call the police or they may report it on a forum such as this.

I also would NEVER push a child RT five years old for a 5-mile trip to a playground where the child was not permitted to play on any play structures.
The parent likely is concerned about Covid-19.
Which means she is not living in reality.

I would leave such a position stat.

[Anonymous]

Our nanny wouldn’t. It’s why we had to send our kids to preschool. She just wouldn’t discipline or limit our four year old beyond telling her no. She is doing a lot better with more structure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read that post and took it as the nanny not running after them and stopping them from opening the door every time. Which she was probably sick of doing, so that’s understandable. I find it hard to believe a nanny wouldn’t grab a toddler from running in the street!

No, she literally said she would not put her hands on them for fear of being accused of abuse!

She said she won’t use force to stop a child. I agree with someone (who hasn’t been trained) not grabbing a child unless there is imminent harm if they don’t (running into traffic means the nanny grabs the child, running into mom’s truce means talking to the child). Adults can easily cause fractures, sprains and strains if they grab children, so avoiding that is good. However, that doesn’t mean that the nanny can’t interpose their body in between the child and whatever they’re trying to do.

If the nanny knows what they’re doing, they can pick up the child and remove them safely. But if not? Avoid removing a child with force.