How to react to “go away!”

[Anonymous]

My normally sweet 2.5 yo started telling us to “go away!” this week when she doesn’t like something, like when it’s time to stop playing and eat dinner. She also has started saying things like “stop, mommy! You stop singing!” and she will yell it loudly until we stop whatever it is that’s “bothering” her.

What’s the best way to deal with these rude interludes? I’ve tried saying “that’s not nice to say, Larla. Do you need some time alone?” but I’m not sure if that’s a good approach or if it’s sinking in. Hoping this is a phase but would love some input from anyone who has BTDT with a suddenly rude toddler.

[Anonymous]

I say, “you sound really angry!” And maybe empathize. “I would be frustrated too if my mom told me to come to dinner when I was in the middle of playing dolls. The thing is, it’s time for the family to have dinner now. I need you to come to the table. You can finish playing dolls after you eat.”

[Anonymous]

I say “no”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say “no”.

+1. I used to say, “no, I’m not going away”. It defused the stage pretty fast.
That said, I did give a lot of warning when interrupting play and let my kids finish their “task” when ever possible. I was also big on compromise when I was doing something (like singing) that was annoying them. I would sing more softly, for example, telling my kids that I really wanted to sing.

[Anonymous]

Give her The Look. Raised eyebrows, serious. Then in a calm, low voice say,
"Larla, you may not shout at Mommy. It's time to eat now and you can play after dinner."
If she escalates, you reinforce with calmness that there will be a consequence for more shouting. Then you impose the consequence if she continues.

Other parents will have 100 different ideas, so please understand that the above advice is given with the idea that your objective is to stop the shouting behavior and get her to comply.
If it's to indulge her and keep her happy be giving into the tantrums in an effort to making the shouting and tantrums stop, then please disregard.

[Anonymous]

Stop telling her what she's doing isn't nice or it hurts your feelings. Just tell her she isn't allowed to order around the adults in charge of her, and if she does it again she'll be punished. And then if she does it again in the same time period (not like a week later) punish her.

[Anonymous]

I told my 2 year old to say “I would like to be by myself now please” instead. It worked sometimes.

[Anonymous]

My 2.5 year old says similar things and the truth is that he needs to be alone by himself for a while. He sort of puts himself in timeout when he gets frustrated. And then he comes out happy.

DH and I think it's a bit strange, but we've learned to ignore him when he doesn't want us because he's mean and it doesn't help him. We do wonder if we're doing the right thing?

[Anonymous]

I give her the polite words for what she wants. So, if she says “Mommy I need alone time” I would immediately accept but if she said “Go away!” I would do the opposite. Kids learn really fast how to get what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say, “you sound really angry!” And maybe empathize. “I would be frustrated too if my mom told me to come to dinner when I was in the middle of playing dolls. The thing is, it’s time for the family to have dinner now. I need you to come to the table. You can finish playing dolls after you eat.”

[Anonymous]

Like others..."If you would like to be alone, you may go to your room" I am about to [something fun or interesting]

[Anonymous]

“You can’t tell me to go away, but here’s what you can say...”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say, “you sound really angry!” And maybe empathize. “I would be frustrated too if my mom told me to come to dinner when I was in the middle of playing dolls. The thing is, it’s time for the family to have dinner now. I need you to come to the table. You can finish playing dolls after you eat.”

Pp you are saying too many words to a 2 1/2 old. Instead say "It's time for dinner!" Maybe sing a song about dinner before you tell her so she knows what is coming. You can adapt it to bath time or play ground time too. Make it fun!

[Anonymous]

I taught my kids to say “I need some privacy.”

But obviously sometimes the answer to that was “not right now.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2.5 year old says similar things and the truth is that he needs to be alone by himself for a while. He sort of puts himself in timeout when he gets frustrated. And then he comes out happy.

DH and I think it's a bit strange, but we've learned to ignore him when he doesn't want us because he's mean and it doesn't help him. We do wonder if we're doing the right thing?

My daughter was the same way. And she is totally fine now! They don't know how to ask for "alone" time so they say go away or sometimes pick a fight so they can be "punished" and have to go by themselves.