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Wow. Early Monday morning scammers called my poor mom pretending to be me and told her that I was in jail in Boston after making a last minute trip because her mom was in the hospital. Apparently I had gotten into an accident with a pregnant woman and while it was not my fault I failed a breathalyzer test at the scene and was put in jail. I needed bail money and I made her promise not to tell my husband (they knew his name) because I wanted to tell him in my own way when I got home. My parents (mom and stepdad) sent the money (initially about 19k). Then, the next day the scammers called again pretending to be my attorney and saying I had new charges because the pregnant woman’s baby died and needed more bail money. Next it was that the pregnant woman died. Then it was medical expenses to give the family... 50k later on Tuesday afternoon I texted my mom a picture of DC and she realized I was not in jail.
My mom is 70 years old, not 92. Aside from feeling so bad for my mom having to spend 36 hours thinking this was true, I am quite worried about her state of mind to fall for this!!! She feels humiliated and doesn’t even want to talk about it. I am just beside myself and don’t know what to do. I am an only child so it’s just me, and I didn’t expect to have to be concerned about her ability to make decisions so soon. What on earth do I do? |
| So she didn’t try to call you at all in the past few days? Didn’t tell anyone at all who thought it was suspicious? |
| I am so sorry this happened to your mom OP and to you. I do not have any advice but have to say that your mom's situation is a testament of her love for you. I think that when a mother hears of a hardship happening to their child they are instantly not in the right mindset to think clearly. They just want to help in any way possible. This is how your mom was tricked: the scammers played upon her basic hard-wired need to care for and protect you. |
We spoke Sunday and the Tuesday afternoon I sent her a photo, the damage happened in this window. And no, she didn’t tell anyone. My whole family is mad at her which makes me feel even worse for her but come on... why didn’t she confide in anyone but my stepdad? It is really mind boggling. My DH is furious she didn’t call him. |
I hope you are right. I mean, I know certainly you are right she was overcome with a need to help me, but I am still feeling worried that she might be deteriorating mentally and I feel very helpless. |
| I am so sorry, OP. |
Those scammers are very convincing and very pushy. My parents we in their 50s when they almost got scammed out of tons of money in a similar fashion. They only thing that helped is that they did not have enough money to send and called me to loan some. |
| You tell her this absolutely has to be reported because these are wicked people who will hurt other people and it's not her fault. Later, sit down and talk about protecting herself in the future. This includes knowing how to verify information of that nature. |
| So your mom never tried to called or texted you |
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OP, I feel your pain. This happened to a close relative (84) who was scammed out of $35k. All I can say is that these people who are judging you and your mom can't relate because they have not been through it.
For whatever reason, there are older people who do NOT call to double check or completely verify a story. It is crazy. It is illogical but it happens. Please be kind to your mom. It was a dumb move on her part, which I'm sure she realizes now but the only way to look at it, is that she did it for you because she loves you. Don't judge her. Just be nice to her and tell her how much you are touched that she would spend $50k to protect you. That will ease her pain. Sorry that this happened. |
| I know a family where the grandfather was called about bail for his grandson. He also “talked” to his grandson who was crying but he absolutely believed it was him. He did end up calling another family member after dropping off a package with payment at fedex and they were able to halt delivery. He was elderly but normal cognitively apparently. |
She was told I was in jail and phone was confiscated |
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My mom was almost scammed out of about $500 in Google play cards and at the very last minute asked to speak to the friend in person before she went through with it. She is in her early 70s, mentally with it and actually a suspicious person by nature. I would never fall for this because WTH would her friend need Google play cards for? I would 100% call to check up.
Our nanny separately almost fell for a scam about a car rented in her name being found full of drugs and her needing to send money or she would go to jail. She was nearly hysterical. She didn’t actually send any money, but she had “confirmed” some personal info. She thankfully came upstairs to ask for my advice while this was happening and I was like, woah no shut this down just as she was going to confirm her social. Nanny was younger than me and completely with it, just slightly naive. These people prey on people’s weaknesses and insecurities. It doesn’t mean your mom is mentally slipping; it means she was upset and overwhelmed in the moment and is likely not super worldly/tech savvy. |
Yes I should emphasize that I am touched by that, which is true. |
| The scam works because the scammers are good at what they do. She really should report it to the police, it could protect others and maybe there’s a chance she could get some of the money back. I’m so sorry this happened to her. |