37 Trying for Second

[Anonymous]

We are trying to have our second. Our first child is 18 months and last month we tried on four days two preceding ovulation one on and once the day after. I did not get pregnant. We somewhat tried two months before the holidays, but nothing as structured.

I feel very discouraged, mainly because when I was 35 I got pregnant on the first try. Although that time we tried 9 times on or leading up to ovulation. Do you think that made a difference, or if the two years of aging actually a problem?

Overall we are both healthy and women in my family have kids until their mid 40s without issue.

I could be reading into this, but now I am afraid this could take months of trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are trying to have our second. Our first child is 18 months and last month we tried on four days two preceding ovulation one on and once the day after. I did not get pregnant. We somewhat tried two months before the holidays, but nothing as structured.

I feel very discouraged, mainly because when I was 35 I got pregnant on the first try. Although that time we tried 9 times on or leading up to ovulation. Do you think that made a difference, or if the two years of aging actually a problem?

Overall we are both healthy and women in my family have kids until their mid 40s without issue.

I could be reading into this, but now I am afraid this could take months of trying.

It could take months of trying. That's perfectly normal. You need to get your mind right for a year of trying; if you get discouraged after not getting pregnant on literally the first try you're setting yourself up for a much harder road than necessary.

[Anonymous]

You tried once and you feel discouraged? Thank god it’s not always that easy! Keep at it (and try to enjoy it, too!)

[Anonymous]

Yeah each time is different, try for 6 months and then get the tests done

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You tried once and you feel discouraged? Thank god it’s not always that easy! Keep at it (and try to enjoy it, too!)

Seriously. Give it a few months. If you got pregnant easily with your first you shouldn’t have trouble this time.

[Anonymous]

Oh my god. Seriously, I would reframe this in your head or you are going to be in for a difficult ride. It can take months. I was 29 when we started TTC for our first and it took a year.

[Anonymous]

This is OP, perhaps I am overthinking things. I am just so afraid it will take months. I read all these horror stories on DCUM about women who try for months and that their fertility must have gone off a cliff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, perhaps I am overthinking things. I am just so afraid it will take months. I read all these horror stories on DCUM about women who try for months and that their fertility must have gone off a cliff.

Taking months to get pregnant doesn't mean your fertility has gone off a cliff. It's completely normal to take months to get pregnant, as a fertile woman. Getting pregnant on the first try is an anomaly. Only something like 22% of fertile women will get pregnant with well-timed sex per cycle. And getting pregnant on the first try once doesn't mean something has gone wrong when it takes longer to get pregnant the next time. You're not overthinking things, you're catastrophizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, perhaps I am overthinking things. I am just so afraid it will take months. I read all these horror stories on DCUM about women who try for months and that their fertility must have gone off a cliff.

Taking months to get pregnant doesn't mean your fertility has gone off a cliff. It's completely normal to take months to get pregnant, as a fertile woman. Getting pregnant on the first try is an anomaly. Only something like 22% of fertile women will get pregnant with well-timed sex per cycle. And getting pregnant on the first try once doesn't mean something has gone wrong when it takes longer to get pregnant the next time. You're not overthinking things, you're catastrophizing.

Thanks, I guess I am regretting that I waited until this time of year to really try. Should have started as soon as our firstborn was a year last fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, perhaps I am overthinking things. I am just so afraid it will take months. I read all these horror stories on DCUM about women who try for months and that their fertility must have gone off a cliff.

What exactly is the downside of it taking months? Just enjoy the relationship with the kid you have and enjoy the sex now, because both of those will change when a second comes along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, perhaps I am overthinking things. I am just so afraid it will take months. I read all these horror stories on DCUM about women who try for months and that their fertility must have gone off a cliff.

Taking months to get pregnant doesn't mean your fertility has gone off a cliff. It's completely normal to take months to get pregnant, as a fertile woman. Getting pregnant on the first try is an anomaly. Only something like 22% of fertile women will get pregnant with well-timed sex per cycle. And getting pregnant on the first try once doesn't mean something has gone wrong when it takes longer to get pregnant the next time. You're not overthinking things, you're catastrophizing.

Thanks, I guess I am regretting that I waited until this time of year to really try. Should have started as soon as our firstborn was a year last fall.

That might have changed nothing. Just look forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, perhaps I am overthinking things. I am just so afraid it will take months. I read all these horror stories on DCUM about women who try for months and that their fertility must have gone off a cliff.

OP people try for years. Months is pretty normal.

[Anonymous]

Please OP, try to manage your expectations here. Pregnancy is not easy, from conception to birth. Your first one might have been a breeze, but that's not the norm (even if instagram has conditioned you to think it is).

I had no trouble getting pregnant on the first try at 32 and delivering a healthy baby.

At 37, I got pregnant two times, each on the first try, but neither baby made it to term.

Please be patient with yourself.

[Anonymous]

For under 35s, will well timed sex, only about 30% of couples get pregnant each month. Since you're over 35 (but not much) the percentage will be a bit lower. Do you know you're ovulating (i.e. are you temping)? If so, and you want to do something now, call your OB/GYN and set an appointment for 6 months from when you started trying. They can do bloodwork/ SA at that point and give you a recommendation for what to do next.

[Anonymous]

3-5 days before ovulation and maybe day of but not day after ovulation for best results

I got pregnant at 37 in the 2nd month, but yeah you need to mentally prepare yourself for a long wait. I know it sucks. I got pregnant on the 2nd month both times, but even that first month not getting pregnant sucked! I temped very accurately and had a normal period so I knew precisely. Good Luck!