Toddler screaming all night

[Anonymous]

Just turned two year old has always been a terrible sleeper. Has never really, truly STTN, it's just one regression after another. Naps are finally ok but she fights then about half the time. We have read every book, paid hundreds in sleep consultants. Our other kid sleeps like a champ, never needed sleep training, so we know it's just how she's wired.

The last month is somehow worse than anything we've gone though. I'm seriously about to have a breakdown. She's up every night, absolutely screaming bloody murder, waking her brother up, no one is sleeping. And I just feel terrible for her. Bedtime is at 7 and she will wake up between 12 and 2 screaming, then these are the scenarios:

1. We go in, soothe her, leave and she continues to scream for hours.
2. We go in and stay while soothing her, but she won't go back to sleep and is up UNTIL NAP
3. We take her to the sofa and turn on the tv and she eventually crashes several hours later

I'm considering getting her a larger bed and just sleeping in there with her when this happens. Is that worse? Should I take her to a specialist? I'm really at a loss. No one in our house is sleeping and we are all miserable. Any advice appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I think at two she is old enough for a reward based system for staying in her room and sleeping through the night. Set up a sticker chart in a public place, like the kitchen or dining room. She gets a sticker for every quiet night. Also, provide her with something of yours, a special item of clothing, jewelry, or some token that goes next to her bed and she can see or visualize when she wakes up.

[Anonymous]

Just co-sleep once she wakes up. It’ll be way better for all of you.

[Anonymous]

I always check physical issues. 2 year molars? Check. If so then get in there around 11 and give her some Tylenol or ibuprofen (they wont last from 7-2). Otherwise, you need to sleep train again. Shes getting what she wants which is time with a parent when she screams. Or yes cosleep but thats your choice.
Most likely she is waking after 1 sleep cycle 7-12 is 5 hrs so about right. And then cant get herself back to sleep because she doesn't know how. So she needs to either be soothed by you or learn to self soothe. Does she have white noise in there?

[Anonymous]

Cosleep. But be aware this might signify other issues down the road.

[Anonymous]

Omg. That sounds awful.

Definitely don't reward her with screentime, though. Either cosleep for now or have a little nest on the floor next to your bed she can sleep in after the first wake up.

[Anonymous]

What is she screaming for? Unless she is sick or having night terrors I would impose a consequence if she is doing it just to get attention. Maybe a reward if she doesn’t wake anyone up in the night. And a consequence if she does.

[Anonymous]

Cosleep. Doing it "right" is less important than health and sanity now.

[Anonymous]

Why would you punish her?? She’s so little and nighttime is scary for kids.

[Anonymous]

God that sounds miserable. I’d definitely ask for a sleep study AND buy a bigger bed in her room for cosleeping when that happens.

My oldest went through a stage like this, though not as bad, at about 2.5. It was a sign of other issues in retrospect. Consider a early intervention evaluation.

[Anonymous]

I second the teething idea. Try motrin at dinner and see if that has a positive effect.

If that does not work, she may be choking on post nasal drip. Try children's zyrtec (mix with ice cream is the taste is a problem) after dinner.

When both of those ideas are eliminated, I would try 1 MG Natrol slow release melatonin given 2 hours before bedtime.

[Anonymous]

PP here, for eliminating choking on post nasal drip, a humidifier in the bedroom can help.

[Anonymous]

Do you think maybe bedtime is too early? I know 7-8 pm bedtime is sacred, and I also followed this/still follow this with my first child. But my second baby is a horrible sleeper, about the same age as yours, and we are experimenting with a 9 pm bedtime. An earlier bedtime seems to just lead to time up in the middle of the night OR skipping nap the next day. I think either Ferber or Weissbluth considers a later bedtime okay for a child who is up for a long time in the middle of the night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think maybe bedtime is too early? I know 7-8 pm bedtime is sacred, and I also followed this/still follow this with my first child. But my second baby is a horrible sleeper, about the same age as yours, and we are experimenting with a 9 pm bedtime. An earlier bedtime seems to just lead to time up in the middle of the night OR skipping nap the next day. I think either Ferber or Weissbluth considers a later bedtime okay for a child who is up for a long time in the middle of the night.

Also, you can definitely put an air mattress or other bed in their room and sleep their while they fuss in their crib. In my experience, that seems to be more successful for my second child than letting them cry alone. He goes to sleep faster, I don't feel bad for leaving him alone, and at least I'm laying down resting.

[Anonymous]

So much is perspective - my 20 month old wakes up around 2pm and wants to nurse and then hold my hand before falling asleep.

Could your child be hungry or thirsty in the middle of the night?