When / if to combine rooms
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Anonymous
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When #3 is born, my existing two will be 2.5 and 4 (both boys). The 4 year old goes to bed a little later than the 2.5yo. 4 year old fights bedtime at times but then sleeps well most nights, 2.5 year old (currently 2) has about one bad week a month with lots of night waking / inconsolable crying until he pukes unless we go comfort him for while. The kid has absolutely no chill. I’m assuming the issues have been teething, not feeling well, scary dream etc so maybe it’ll be better in 5mo. Both get up anytime between 545 and 715. I actually enjoy the 1:1 time with one of them while waiting for the other to get up so don’t want to force them both to stay in bed until 7 or something. They currently have a love / hate relationship, occasionally play together but generally drive each other crazy (younger messing up olders stuff, younger dying for olders toys, older being mean back etc). Hopefully this will improve too!
I’d like to combine their rooms so we still have a guest room still when we have 3 kids. It wouldn’t have to happen right away, we could leave everyone as is for awhile and just deal w/o a guest room for a year or so. Is there any hope of combining these two without it being awful for their sleep and mine? What age would you suggest is ideal? 2yo is still in crib and will leave him in there as long as possible as he’s a wild child. Would it be better to wait until he’s used to sleeping in a bed and isn’t getting up 1000 times? Basically give me any tips or warnings to not do this! |
Anonymous
| Wait until everyone sleeps in a bad and all night reliably. Please. |
Anonymous
I wouldn't combine. It is disruptive to their sleep. They should have a private and secure location to go be by themselves and not have their things messed with. Why on earth would you need a room to sit empty most of the time vs giving your children their own room and letting them combine for when guests visit? From experience... Just don't. Or wait until they are a lot older. |
Anonymous
I never really get the combo kids room / guest room. Do you stick a queen bed in a kids room? That seems so massive for a kids but is really what you need for guests |
Anonymous
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My kids started sharing when my youngest was 18 months and oldest was 4. Neither are good sleepers. We put the younger down first and then the oldest. Oldest takes awhile. Oldest rarely sleeps through the night and will come to our room (I'm okay with this, he doesn't wake us up). Youngest is in a floor bed and has one really bad night a week. Depending on how bad it is, i take him into my bed or the guest bedroom.
Youngest is almost always up first. He knows to get me up quietly (big kid is in our bed normally) and we go to the bathroom in the hall bathroom and then head downstairs. Neither kid has any desire to wake the other and know that they need to be quiet. Then we go down to eat and play. For us, our kids hated the crib. Turns out it was incredibly uncomfortable. I ended up moving my kid to a floor bed with a good mattress and it works so much better. He's so much happier and doesn't abuse his freedom |
Anonymous
| My parents moved my sister and I in a room together when my younger brother was born. I was 3.5 and my sister was 19 months. We had a 3 bedroom house and my parents could not fit a crib in their bedroom. Anyway, it was a disaster. My sister and I were on completely different sleep schedules. One of us either kept the other one up too late or woke the other one up too early. Add to that that we are completely different personalities and have never really gotten along at all. By the time my brother was five months old we moved to a bigger house so everybody could have their own room as no one was getting any sleep with our current situation. |
jsmith123
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Our boys just started sharing a room. In their case, it was by request. If we'd tried to force it, it probably wouldn't have gone well. They are 3 & 6.
I would definitely wait until your 2 year old is sleeping better. Also, maybe just put bunks in one room so when you have a guest, you can temporarily move them in together. Unless you host guests a large portion of the year, it seems a bit odd to prioritize having an empty guest room over creating a good sleep situation for your kids. |
Anonymous
I can totally see this happening, but it makes me wonder: how did people manage this for all of human history when everyone slept in the same room? That is NOT a snarky rhetorical question. I am genuinely wondering. I wonder if you start everyone out together, from birth everyone gets on the "same schedule"? |
Anonymous
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My now 5 year old has slept in a queen bed since he was 2.5 (with under the sheet bumpers). He loves it, and while it seemed large at first, it’s really not that much bigger than a full size and I think twin beds are pointless. Someone can always lay down with him at night, little sister snuggles up and reads books, etc.
When guests come, he bunks with us. Maybe try that rather than combining? It seemed silly to me to not use a room every day so that on the off occasion you have guests you have the room. |
Anonymous
| Thanks for the advice - we don’t live near any family so between each set of grandparents coming quarterly and each sibling coming once or twice a year plus any friends...we end up using a guest room for about a week a month. So I was thinking a stable set up for the kids would be better than shuffling every month. It’s annoying bc we actually have a very large house but between the open floor plan, dh and I now working from home perminantly and needing work spaces even when guests are here, and all the full bathrooms being in suite vs shared, it makes sticking an extra guest bed somewhere challenging. I’d never again buy a house with only insuite full baths |
Anonymous
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Why are people so obsessed with having a guest room ? The tradeoff of messing up everyone's sleeping routine/space isn't worth it for the occassional grandma visit.
Op - hold off on combining bedrooms. Adding kid#3 will be enough of a transition and adjustment for everyone. No need to borrow more trouble with trying to share bedrooms. |
Anonymous
Because we like to have guests and see our families? Because it’s nice to have grandparents get up early with the kids when they visit vs being at a hotel? Bc not everyone can afford week long stays at downtown / close by hotels? Because family lives very far and comes for very long visits when they do come and sleeping on the floor for a month or two isn’t reasonable? So many reasons |
Anonymous
| Guest room? What is that?? Our extra bedroom is my husband's office. Who wants to come stay with someone with a bunch of little kids anyway? |
Anonymous
Your family comes for a month or two? God bless your spouse! |
Anonymous
Grandparents - either your lucky and have yours close or unlucky and yours don’t like to be in the thick of it when they come and help out |