so hard to leave baby...

[Anonymous]

My 5 month old DS started day care today. It was soooo hard to leave him this morning. He cried almost the whole time I was there (half hour or so). He has always been a bit fussy/particular so maybe he just needs to get used to the new situation. I was in tears as soon as I left. Does it get easier?? Or am I torturing him??

[Anonymous]

Yes, it completely sucks. For me it was pretty bad for about 2 weeks and then it got easier.

There are different approaches to parenting, and I've only tried one, so I'm certainly not an expert. But I think it's easier on baby if you leave after about 5 minutes. Of course, that really depends on the particular baby, so what worked for mine may not work for yours. It might be a little more stressful for him to be held by someone else, yet know you are in the room. I don't know for sure. Hang in there, though. You'll find what works best for you and your son.

[Anonymous]

I also hated that feeling. But usually, they adjust pretty quickly and even when the morning hand off goes rough, they stop crying shortly after you leave. You are definitely not torturing him. It is just one of his few ways to communicate. When you pick him up this week, try to peek in before he sees you and hopefully you will see him happy.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is 9 months old now. I put her in daycare at 3 months and it sucked. I cried for a week. Everyone told me it would get easier. They were absolutely right. Thank God! Hang in there!!

[Anonymous]

thank you!!! definitely helps to hear this.

[Anonymous]

I sobbed the whole time I was doing a TOUR of the center at the thought of leaving my baby...even though I knew it was a great place. Needless to say, I was a mess the first day I had to take her (and serveral days after that)...I had to sit in the parking lot for a few minutes to regroup before I could drive after walking out. It was heartbreaking and I felt SO guilty! I will also preface this by saying that I had always planned on staying home, but this economy didn't permit that. Within a week or two, it was MUCH better. By the time my daughter was around 8 months, she LOVED it and could show it (kicking her feet when we walked in the door, clapping her hands, reaching out to her provider, etc)... Fast forward to 18 months and she could not be happier (and we could not be more appreciative).

It absolutely stinks initially. Hang in there....and don't feel badly for being sad about it. Everyone understands!

[Anonymous]

OP: it will get better. The beginning is so hard. I cried all the way to work on that first day. What I have learned is that daycare is harder on parents than it is on the kids (so long as you've got your child at a good daycare). My daughter is two and I still have a pang every morning when I leave her, but she is fine and off to have fun as soon as we get in the door.

[Anonymous]

My DD will be 4 months when I return to work in two weeks. She is also very particular/fussy and I'm definitely worried about her crying the whole time. She is very attached to me. Please report back with an update, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you considered a delay in your leaving your son? Maybe in another 6 or 12 months he'll be better able to cope with the separation. Every sacrifice is well worth it....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you considered a delay in your leaving your son? Maybe in another 6 or 12 months he'll be better able to cope with the separation. Every sacrifice is well worth it....

If I were the OP, I would find your post insulting. This is one of the most stressful and important decisions a parent has to make, and you think she made the decision lightly, and didn't considered all the options?

[Anonymous]

OP, it does get easier. I didn't plan on using daycare, but due to the economy I lost my business working from home and had some bad nanny experiences. Now, the whole family LOVES daycare. My child began as a 2 year old and I think it actually becomes harder the older they are. Child was crying and miserable for a while, but loved it a few weeks into it. Hang in there.

I also felt so guilty in the beginning, like a complete failure. It didn't help that the dog just cried at the front door all day because the child was gone. Now, we're all so happy with the situation. Child loves playing with friends. Plus a daycare has the ability to do more activities in one day than any parent can provide. They play and have so much fun. Child's development has skyrocketed from being around other children the same age.

Please hang in there. If things don't improve in 2-4 weeks, then it may be time for reassessment. I'm hoping things turn out really well for you. There's definitely an adjustment period for the whole family. Please check in here for support if you need it.