public vs private

[Anonymous]

I'm sure this is a loaded question with so many variables, but here goes.

My child is in a public middle school. She is not an academic superstar; she scores average for this area (slightly above average overall) on county testing and the WISC a couple years ago. She enjoys school - or used to (virtual school for the past year has taken its toll). She has some mild learning issues, but she doesn't qualify for an IEP. She gets ok grades, but somehow doesn't know very basic things, like single digit times tables or basic grammar rules, so her school performance/grades can sometimes be inconsistent. But she tries hard, and teachers seem to appreciate and reward her effort.

Is it worth moving from public to private for her? As someone who has been a proponent of public schools, I never really considered private before. But what I am seeing is that the kids at the very top and the kids who qualify for extra help seem to get the most out of public school, and I worry that those in the middle (like my daughter) are just getting by under the radar. I feel like she would benefit from the smaller class sizes and level of attention of a private school environment (realizing this may vary from school to school). However, private school would be a big financial stretch for us, and I am realistic that she is not going to get into one of the very top privates in the area. Is the cost of a non-top tier private worth it for kids in the middle? Are they better at serving these kids than public?

As for my daughter's opinion, she feels personally content at her current public school situation, but wouldn't be averse to switching schools.

[Anonymous]

I would take my money and do private tutoring. Less than private school and more specific to her needs.

All privates are not equal. She would likely get better attention but they cant go back and teach her things she hasn't learned yet. Single digit times should be quick facts by this age, so I think she may also struggle in some privates. My opinion is some are not able to differentiate alot with covid as kids are not changing classes alot.

I would be worried to do a huge financial burden during these times though you could apply for financial aid.

Lastly, you can considering trying private schiol for a year and see how it goes, but long term private targeted tutoring may go further than temporary private school.

[Anonymous]

First, are you talking about next year? If so, deadlines for applications have past at just about all schools. Starting now for next year will be tough. Not impossible, but given the current climate there are a lot of applicants pretty much everywhere.

Second, is your sense that she would rise up in an environment where more kids are consistently top achievers or would she pull back even more? That’s a kid by kid thing that only you can answer.

Have you considered a tutor? I’m not sure that a private middle school will “slow down” to teach her multiplication tables or grammar rules.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I think private schools especially these small private schools are better for the so called “average “ kids. Those kids will get easily ignored in big public schools but they will shine in small private schools.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the responses so far. We have been doing tutoring for a couple years, but I have to say I'm not sure how much it has helped, especially since we switched to virtual. My daughter is mentally fatigued after a long day of school and her ADHD medication has largely worn off by 4 o'clock and I'm not sure she is getting much from tutoring. I feel like she is just going through the motions. I would love for her to do her learning during school hours. (But maybe I also just need a new tutor...)

We already applied to a couple schools last month - I'm just wondering if I should keep doing so (or how I would decide if she got in). I've found a number of schools that are still accepting applications for next year (again, not talking about the "big 3/5," etc.).

Would love feedback from those who have "average" kids or even kids who need some extra help (but who wouldn't have been deemed as qualifying for special ed in public) in a non-top tier private school. Do you feel that, education wise, you are getting your money's worth? Also interested in hearing if the answer depends on whether school is fully in person.

[Anonymous]

I have an ADHD kid that I moved from public school to private school (non big 3) and I absolutely think it was worth it.

the smaller classes mean he is learning more and he gets more attention.

His teachers can help more because the classes are smaller and he isn't doing any tutoring now since he seems to be learning at school.

It's definitely a lot of money but it's been great.

[Anonymous]

Have you looked at the McLean school in Potomac?

[Anonymous]

My older daughter probably fits a similar profile to yours. We moved her in middle elementary because I felt like she was getting lost in the shuffle. A smaller K-8 was great for her confidence and teachers helped identify her weaknesses and worked to improve them while suggesting testing or therapy for some of the other stuff. She’s now in high school in a well known “top 5” school and is doing very well and feels great about what she is accomplishing. I wouldn’t say she is the tip top of her class by any means but she gets high B’s and low A’s and in addition to her grades she gets a lot of positive reinforcement from her teachers for non academic skills like her kindness, leadership and activism. What you get from private is a lot more of the non-tangible-teachers and administrators that know your kid from year to year and a supportive environment that makes your child feel like they can accomplish more.

It’s not to say that this couldn’t have happened in public, but it wasn’t for us and as the classes and grades were getting bigger and bigger she was getting lost in the shuffle: private made a world of difference in her and there are plenty of similar kids in her school and others.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered having her repeat a grade in private?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered having her repeat a grade in private?

I wish we had held her back in preschool honestly, but she seemed pretty advanced then and she is not a summer birthday so thought it would be odd.

[Anonymous]

I think 2020 has demonstrated he many ways most private schools are indisputably better than most public schools. (Though of course there are many excellent teachers in public, and many kids do well in public - myself included! - the administration and curriculum and scale of the school makes a big difference).

To me it really comes down to price. If paying tuition would mean you can’t save for college, or can’t pay basic expenses for a middle class family, I’d stick with public and supplement / tutor. But if paying for private means you have to downgrade from a 1.8M house to a 1M house, the answer is obvious. (It’s an unpopular opinion, but I cannot believe so many people live in 1.5M+ houses and send their kids to public school).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered having her repeat a grade in private?

This is actually not a bad tactic. I’d switch schools and repeat the last grade to help her get her bearings.

[Anonymous]

So same here. However, I'm not particularly concerned with where my kid goes to college. I hope that it's a decent state school that's easier to afford. My major concern is whether she gets a solid education in MS/HS. I don't know that public can provide that that so we've applied to private for the foreseeable future. If she has a solid educational foundation, she can do well at any college. You need to decide if public school can provide the foundation that you're looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered having her repeat a grade in private?

This is actually not a bad tactic. I’d switch schools and repeat the last grade to help her get her bearings.

I think it this a great plan, but it depends on her birthday.

[Anonymous]

I would apply to one of the less expensive privates or a catholic school. Small and nurturing environment and more financially bearable than some of the other private schools. I have multiple kids and I think these earlier years are very formative for the ability to be independently successful in high school. If you lay a good foundation your child could go back to public later.