Toddler who isn’t a big eater

[Anonymous]

My just turned 2 year old has never been a big eater and it was a struggle to get her to nurse or drink a bottle even when she was a baby (although back then she had reflux and was on meds). She is now almost 2 and meals are totally hit or miss... mostly miss. She eats a variety of foods and textures when she does eat, so that isn’t an issue, she just doesn’t really want to eat most of the time and rarely even seems hungry for a meal. She is happiest grazing and having a bite or two here and there. Maybe once a week she will eat a solid meal at most. Things definitely got worse around 18 months I would say.

She was born in the 60th percentile for weight (90th for height) and it has slowly been dropping (currently at 45th). Our pediatrician isn’t concerned yet, but said to try to get her to eat as much as we can and give her higher calorie foods.

Does anyone else have a child like this and if so, what’s the best way to handle without making food a battle? Forcing her to eat when she doesn’t want to makes things unpleasant for all. I also find that sometimes we are so desperate to get her to eat anything we try offering sweets - even though she still only has a couple bites most times and then loses interest, and I really don’t want that to become a bad habit

Is there a chance she still has reflux or something else going on even though she does not seem like she is in pain like she did as a baby?

This is so foreign to us since our older is picky but a big eater and has always had a huge appetite.

Would love any advice from others.

[Anonymous]

My second kid is like this and always has been. She also had bad reflux as a baby and was medicated. She just likes to graze. As a 3.5 year old I think she is about 75 percentile for height and 30th for weight. She's been pretty consistently at both since she was 2. I don't worry about it. When she likes what's on offer she eats a lot. When she doesn't, she doesn't eat much. She always drinks milk and she will usually have at least a couple bites of fruit. She seems to grow regardless.

My older kid was always a very hearty eater -- I nursed them both and he would eat so, so much more than my second. She only ever nursed from one side. He'd finish both and go looking for more. At 2 years old he was in the 90th percentile for height and 70th for weight. By 3 he had dropped to 60th percentile height and 40th weight, and he's stayed around there ever since - he is 7 now. He still has a huge appetite and I don't know where he puts it all!

Kids are just different. I would not force food. If she isn't picky, then she'll eat when she's hungry. See what her curve is like by the time she is 3. That is likely to be more indicative of her next few years.

[Anonymous]

Drop the rope. Don't bribe her, or make her sweets to get her to eat, or provide attention to what she's eating. Those types of pressure are very likely to backfire.

Serve three meals and two snacks a day. Serve a variety of food, include something she likes at every meal and snack but it doesnm't have to be a favorite. Choose slightly higher calorie options if you want, like whole milk yogurt instead of reduced fat. And then at the meal, allow her to choose what she wants, from the options on the table, and talk about other things. When she's done let her up from the table.

Kids weight at birth isn't predictive of where they'll be long term, and so they naturally adjust in the first few years. A 15%ile change is very very normal, it's not a sign that you need to do anything. The fact that she's so tall makes it abundantly clear that she's getting the calories she needs, because vertical growth takes a lot of calories.

[Anonymous]

Is she drinking a lot of milk? It seems odd that she could eat so little and still be normal weight? Does she go to daycare and eat a lot more there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drop the rope. Don't bribe her, or make her sweets to get her to eat, or provide attention to what she's eating. Those types of pressure are very likely to backfire.

Serve three meals and two snacks a day. Serve a variety of food, include something she likes at every meal and snack but it doesnm't have to be a favorite. Choose slightly higher calorie options if you want, like whole milk yogurt instead of reduced fat. And then at the meal, allow her to choose what she wants, from the options on the table, and talk about other things. When she's done let her up from the table.

Kids weight at birth isn't predictive of where they'll be long term, and so they naturally adjust in the first few years. A 15%ile change is very very normal, it's not a sign that you need to do anything. The fact that she's so tall makes it abundantly clear that she's getting the calories she needs, because vertical growth takes a lot of calories.

+1 I would also check out kids eat in color on instagram’s highlight on ways to use high calorie foods in situations like this, she had a kid like this and has some good content on it

[Anonymous]

When my kid was 3ish we had a friend over with a kid the same age and the mom literally followed the kids around offering food the whole time.... her kid just grazed like this. It was Froot Loops or similar tho so not even good food. I would do 3 meals and 2 snacks OP and that’s it. She can eat it or not, encouragement is fine, bribery or pleading is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she drinking a lot of milk? It seems odd that she could eat so little and still be normal weight? Does she go to daycare and eat a lot more there?

No, she barely drinks any milk at all... maybe 4-6oz total on a good day, sometimes none at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she drinking a lot of milk? It seems odd that she could eat so little and still be normal weight? Does she go to daycare and eat a lot more there?

No, she barely drinks any milk at all... maybe 4-6oz total on a good day, sometimes none at all.

Also no daycare... we have a nanny who she is the same with. Sometimes she eats, sometimes she does not.

Cheese sticks and cashews are her favorite foods... we serve them both daily, sometimes she eats them, but sometimes it’s just a bite or two and she is over it.

[Anonymous]

I don't have personal experience with this, but Ellyn Satter is my go-to resource for all things food related, so I would consider checking out her books.

[Anonymous]

Toddler formuka

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t be overly concerned at this time, but I also would ask for a referral for an evaluation for feeding therapy or a pediatric nutritionist. It can’t hurt to have a specialist walk through her daily diet and discuss the concerns you have, especially if your pediatrician isn’t taking the time to do that.

Best case, a quick eval shows it’s a phase or just toddlers being toddlers and you’ll get some tips and things to try and better peace of mind.