Is one hour commute ever worth it?

[Anonymous]

The school that appears to be the best fit for us for high school also is the farthest away, and with traffic could take an hour (DC school, and we live way out in the burbs). I don't mind driving, but I am concerned that so much time in the car will make participation in extra-curriculars (both at school and outside school) difficult. I also worry that the distance will make socializing and participation in the life of the school harder. Moving is not an option. Has anybody undertaken such a long commute for a private during the high school years, and are/were you and your child happy with the decision? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I used to commute at least an hour to high school each way (I went to TJ and lived in Loudoun County). While it's not ideal, it's certainly doable, especially if your child is committed to the school. Extra-curricular activities were hard for me, but at least we had an activity bus (maybe your school offers something similar). I wouldn't trade my high school experience for anything, commute included.

[Anonymous]

My child is commuting about an hour daily (occasionally longer) via the metro from the burbs into DC. We hate the commute, but the school is most definitely worth it.

[Anonymous]

I used to commute at least an hour to high school each way (I went to TJ and lived in Loudoun County). While it's not ideal, it's certainly doable, especially if your child is committed to the school. Extra-curricular activities were hard for me, but at least we had an activity bus (maybe your school offers something similar). I wouldn't trade my high school experience for anything, commute included.

One of my best friends from NCS lived in a pretty far out burb, and I think she and her sisters would say the same thing as PP (minus the activity bus).

[Anonymous]

I think it really sucks a lot of time and energy from your day and your children's day. I find the half hour drive to my DCs school an impediment for doing the extra things -- the open houses, short volunteer opportunities. And I don't think sitting in the car that long is good for anyone. Plus your child's friends will all be far away.

[Anonymous]

Since you're talking about a high schooler, how does he/she feel about the commute? I'm sure they'll have homework to do, books to read, conversations to have with you, texting, listening to music, etc.

Since high school really is the precursor to college, if it's the best fit and your child really wants to make the sacrifice, then it's probably worth it.

Hopefully it's a safe enough drive that they can drive themselves as a Junior???

[Anonymous]

We alternate driving DS to school (about 45 minutes away) and treasure this time with him. Being trapped in a car has its down sides, but it can also be a fertile environment for regular, casual conversations at the start of the day after the rush to get out the door.

[Anonymous]

Our commute was an hour because we live in the city -- drove out to the burbs to drop kid off and then drove back into DC to go to work. It was hard but it was worth it.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the strength of your alternatives ... I would drive an hour to move my child from an adequate school to an excellent school. Would I do it to go from a very good school to an excellent school? Maybe not. But it is always tempting to provide the very best for our kids even when it might not be completely necessary.

[Anonymous]

I commuted an hour+ for private school and honestly, I HATED it, esp during the high school years. I had plenty of friends but I missed out on a whole lot of spontaneously social gatherings, etc. because I lived in an entire different area than most (all really) of my peers. I don't remember it being an issue in elementary school but I would have moved in a heartbeat had I been able to during middle school and high school. I wanted to just be able to drop by my friends' houses and that was never possible.
One of my top considerations as I now think of schooling for my own kids is proximity to the schools.

[Anonymous]

"worth it" is subjective, but a few things you might think about:

A one-hour commute for your DC is, I think, the tip of the iceberg. For you, that means a two-hour trip morning and afternoon, unless you work near the school. Is four hours in the car a day worth it to you?

Social life - until the majority of the class have full licenses (e.g., mid-jr year), your DC's social life will depend on your willingness to be a chauffeur. Parents will not be thrilled with needing to drive an hour to retrieve their child from your house - are you willing to facilitate your child's social life by adding another two-hour drive if your child has freinds over after school?

More social life - for my HS student, social events are frequently spontaneous, on a Friday afternoon. He often calls me when I'm five minutes from the school to say he's going to someone's house/out to eat/staying for a school game, and can I pick him up later. How will you react when you have already driven 45 minutes and are told to go home and come back at some unspecified later time. If you say OK, it's more inconvenience for you. If you say no, it limits your child's social opportunities (see PP).

Other kids in the family - are there any? How will they get around while you are schlepping this DC?

I do know families who make this work, mostly through intense carpooling - doing the round trip a few times a week is much better than twice daily. But for my family, unless I knew a carpool would be possible, I would not sign up for such a long commute.

[Anonymous]

If you make the most out of the commute - talk, listen to music, etc... If it is stressful and kids are bored out of their minds in the car then no.

[Anonymous]

I find 11:03's post really persuasive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find 11:03's post really persuasive.

18:45, again ~ I am sure that 11:03's experience is very common. However, on the other side of the coin, my kid feels very differently about commuting. Don't get me wrong, she hates the commute, but she really loves her school and the opportunities there. As we reviewed the re-enrollment
package that we recently received, my husband and I asked her "are you sure you want to keep doing this?". And again we got an overwhelming yes.

None of the suburban schools, including our well thought of public high school were a fit for her, so she feels that hopping on the metro every morning is well worth it.

Good luck with your decision.

[Anonymous]

13:40, I think your kid's being able to take the Metro must make a huge difference. I assume that means she can stay late after school without advance planning, as she doesn't have a carpool to catch. It's not the time commuting per se that is the issue, it's the possible negative impact on the kid's ability to participate in activities or social gatherings.

I have a DS at a high school where MANY of the kids take public transportation, and they seem to do fine with it.