Career Planning and Infertility

[Anonymous]

I'm curious how folks have approached career while experiencing infertility. I'm two years in and initially put off starting TTC when I started a new job, which feels a bit dumb now as we are still child-less. I am now considering changing jobs again, and my DH (who hopes to be a primary caretaker- though not a stay at home) goes back and forth about pursuing more demanding career opportunities. Part of me feels like we should continue with life assuming we will never have children and part of me lives in the hope that this next round will be successful.

[Anonymous]

How many rounds have you done? My general advice without knowing more about the situation, your work balance or finances is that you should apply for and take the jobs you want and hope the fertility works out but don’t let that stop you.

That said, I appreciate this question because I didn’t want to make a career move mid-treatment because if I got pregnant I knew I’d have good support in my current office.

[Anonymous]

I took the more Mommy track job in anticipation of pregnancies. Unfortunately, the babies did not happen, and I'm stuck in a Mommy track job.

[Anonymous]

I would continue on as if you aren’t having children for now as long as you can reasonably get to appointments for treatment. I am experiencing secondary infertility now and I am grateful for some flexibility in my schedule as I being to navigate the testing and treatment options but I wouldn’t want to mommy track myself until I know for certain I have a second on the way.

[Anonymous]

I switched jobs before TTC in anticipation of needing the flexibility and benefits it offered for parents (my husband works extremely long hours). Little did I know I would have to go down the IVF route and two years later (two rounds of IVF done now) I wish I had not switched. Having a boring job makes it that much harder to distract myself and get through the waiting and waiting and hoping and hoping associated with IVF. Follow your career and hopefully there are ways to make treatment work in that new worklife.

[Anonymous]

I took a less demanding, though higher paying, lateral to focus on baby making. 6 months in, I was pregnant. Good career move. Supervisor is terrible, though, so now I need to find a new job, which is difficult with childcare issues.

[Anonymous]

I stayed in a very boring, but very flexible job with great maternity leave benefits to TTC my second. 3 years later and I'm still in the job and haven't used the leave... flexibility was good for IVF, and I'm sure I would have been glad to have stayed if IVF had worked out. Hindsight is 20/20, you know?

[Anonymous]

It’s so difficult but...live in the moment. Career and otherwise. Or you could end up in a world of hurt and disappointment. Try to make your life as fulfilling as possible while childless... and worry about how that changes if and when the time comes. It’s the only way you’ll get through infertility (trust someone who’s been there...).

All the luck to you.

[Anonymous]

live in the moment. I have switched jobs twice in 3 years while TTC #2 and it's actually worked out for the best with new insurance for fertility coverage. Also I'm on a solid career track now and am senior enough that when I do get pregnant I can take leave and have the money to get a nanny or night nurse if needed.

[Anonymous]

I’ve definitely stayed with current job more than partially because of the infertility and maternity benefits. I think if it wasn’t happening at a certain point I’d give myself a set amount of time during which if it didn’t happen I’d feel it reasonable to move on. Good luck OP. Generally speaking you should do what’s best for your career and the rest will work itself out. I’m in the middle of IVF for my second, and when I was having trouble conceiving my first, was pursuing a promotion at work which I ended up getting shortly after ultimately getting pregnant. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I am about to start IVF and also going full speed ahead career wise (including putting myself up for future overseas positions) assuming IVF won’t work. If it does, I can always take a step back then (although probably won’t do that either, would rather work more and pay for a nanny to help out)

[Anonymous]

Do what you would do if you weren't having kids. I planned on a big family and staying home with my kids so I didn't go to grad school and ended up underemployed. It's completely screwed my career.