Removing 3 year old from daycare to transition to a nanny

[Anonymous]

All,

I am struggling with this decision and would love your thoughts. My daughter has been in daycare since she was 9 months old. We've been mostly happy with it but the logistics have been maddening. They close at 5.30pm and overall, just close a lot (I know closures are normal with daycares but ours definitely closes more than other in-home daycares in the area). My husband has to leave work at 4.30pm to pick her up and we have to send food; a bunch of other stuff regularly. Overall, I am really wondering how much this child care arrangement is helping us in our lives versus making it more challenging. I am considering pulling my daughter out but worry about social exposure as she is close with the teachers and her friends there. We can afford to have a nanny but I am wondering if its going to be a good decision for her. Should I consider other alternatives? Have any of you done it? What was the impact on your kid? She is preschool age but we also have a son who is under 2 and don't want to complicate our lives too much.

Thank you again for your thoughts!

[Anonymous]

Can you find another daycare? Moving from daycare to a nanny might be difficult on her.

[Anonymous]

So would the nanny be with both your daughter and son? What is your son's current childcare situation?

If she would be alone with the nanny, I would advise against. Our DD's daycare closed due to Covid and didn't reopen for six months, during which she turned three. She was home with us the full time. It was really tough for her and then tough again when she went back. For her, this was pretty much the exact time that she transitioned from just playing on her own (parallel play) to wanting to interact with other kids. So being home and not around other kids made that really hard -- she just needed more interaction than we could give her, and I think needed to be able to see how other kids approached things as well. We started seeing signs of perfectionism emerging, because when she'd do things like color or play blocks with us, it frustrated her to always be playing with someone who knew how to do everything better than she could. She was so much happier when she went back to daycare.

It might not be as bad if she is with a sibling all day though. Or you could look into a nanny share? That could be the happy medium you need. I get the frustration with the closures and early pick up times -- our daycare is actually now on a shortened schedule of 9am-3pm due to Covid and it is tough. But its so clear it's what DD needs that we are loathe to give it up (plus we need the childcare, obviously).

[Anonymous]

I agree another daycare that provides all food, has better hours, and a strong preschool component for the older kids would be worth looking into. She’s old enough that she will miss being with other kids and your younger child will also want to be with a group of other kids before long.

[Anonymous]

OP here - both my kids go to the same daycare. So she would be home with the nanny and my son who is 1.

[Anonymous]

Can you afford a nanny plus part-time preschool for her? I think part-time programs (even ones that are like 3 hours a day, 3 days a week) would be beneficial for socialization. They're not very expensive either.

[Anonymous]

You might run into similar issues with a nanny since you already line on a single person to fill your child care needs. She will need sick time and vacation time. I guess it would simplify the drop off and pick up and hours. Out went to look at a larger center that has a posted calendar. In-home daycares are generally Run by a single person who needs time off.

[Anonymous]

She's 3 and therefore can get a place in a 3s class at a large center with a preschool curriculum. Most of those places will provide food and don't have unpredictable closures (fed holidays plus winter and maybe summer break is standard) as well as have extended hours. And if you like the place you can stay until she enters K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might run into similar issues with a nanny since you already line on a single person to fill your child care needs. She will need sick time and vacation time. I guess it would simplify the drop off and pick up and hours. Out went to look at a larger center that has a posted calendar. In-home daycares are generally Run by a single person who needs time off.

Plus you'll also still have to do things like provide food with a nanny. Most centers will have an option to provide food for a 3 year old. Some centers get it catered in and it's actually pretty decent food.

[Anonymous]

Maybe a nanny for her and her brother and a half day preschool program off she needs more stimulation

[Anonymous]

If we were not in a pandemic it would be okay - the nanny could take your kid all over the place to socialize. But now, with so many things closed, you'd basically be taking her away from her routine and friends and introducing a new person she's supposed to listen to.

[Anonymous]

OP, our daycare center does not close often. However, it used to open 6:30am to 6:30pm and now only runs 7:30am to 5:30pm to limit the number of teachers exposed to the kids. I wonder if there are many centers that still offer long hours like that. They'd need to have two shifts of teachers. Also I think a lot of them have changed their food offerings (ours used to offer snacks but now families bring all food).

I suspect you may be able to find a daycare that doesn't close often, either center or home (DD was temporarily at a home daycare where the owner had a co-provider who took per place when she was away). But the food and the hours may be more difficult.