Questions -- DS wants to convert to Catholic (but we do not)

[Anonymous]

9-year-old DS started attending Catholic School this year and now wants to become a Catholic. He's attended church-sponsored preschools thus always interested in religion and a "believer." We are Orthodox Christians who don't currently attend any church though we did baptize DS as an infant. Neither of us want to renounce our Orthodox religion to convert to Catholicism ourselves and additionaly, we have serious moral concerns with the rampant abuse and cover-ups of the Catholic church (we don't want to explain these concerns to DS now to taint him).

We are ok with his decision as religion is important to DS and we don't plan on joining our local Orthodox or other church. So, can we have DS baptized as a Catholic without having to convert ourselves or join a parish? Can we have him baptized in another state (god parents) so his school church recognizes him as Catholic and allows him to receive communion? If we are not parish members, will he be able to participate in First Communion, Confirmation, and other sacraments? I've looked on Arlington Diocese and various Catholic Church websites but cannot find answers.

[Anonymous]

Yes, he can be Catholic without you being one. He will be able to participate as a part of the school community.

I had a similar experience with my daughter asking to participate in a pro-life rally. Not my thing as I am entirely pro choice, but I could think of worse things.

[Anonymous]

He is already baptized, so there would be no “re-baptism.” In your religious tradition, I assume he was also confirmed at baptism. If so, then he would go through the RCIA program. Otherwise, he would go through the confirmation process with the kids his age assuming he is still in grade school.

[Anonymous]

I assure you, the “rampant” abuse and cover ups you’re worried about were/are just as common in the Orthodox Church (and other churches, and schools, and correctional facilities, and foster care, etc., as in the Roman Catholic Church. The Church has never had a monopoly on perverts. It has, however, been a big financial target without sovereign immunity to protect it like public institutions.

Turning to your specific question, if your son is Orthodox, he is already “catholic” with a small “c.” If he wishes to affiliate with the Roman Church, the norm would be for him to join the Eastern Rite (essentially Orthodox churches in union with the Pope) branch most analogous to the Orthodox Church of his baptism. If he wishes to join the Latin rite (commonly the “Roman Catholic” Church), that is another step.

The best way to navigate this is to approach the pastor at the parish associated with the school. In the meantime he is free (at least from a Roman standpoint) to worship and receive Roman Catholic sacraments (although as PP observed this would likely not include Confirmation).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9-year-old DS started attending Catholic School this year and now wants to become a Catholic. He's attended church-sponsored preschools thus always interested in religion and a "believer." We are Orthodox Christians who don't currently attend any church though we did baptize DS as an infant. Neither of us want to renounce our Orthodox religion to convert to Catholicism ourselves and additionaly, we have serious moral concerns with the rampant abuse and cover-ups of the Catholic church (we don't want to explain these concerns to DS now to taint him).

We are ok with his decision as religion is important to DS and we don't plan on joining our local Orthodox or other church. So, can we have DS baptized as a Catholic without having to convert ourselves or join a parish? Can we have him baptized in another state (god parents) so his school church recognizes him as Catholic and allows him to receive communion? If we are not parish members, will he be able to participate in First Communion, Confirmation, and other sacraments? I've looked on Arlington Diocese and various Catholic Church websites but cannot find answers.

The Orthodox Church has had the same issues in the US and in Europe so that should not be a barrier.

[Anonymous]

If DS converts, do you get the catholic rate at his school?

[Anonymous]

OP here -- THANKS for the helpful responses!! And sorry to offend by singling out only the Catholic Church for "rampant" abuses. Our Greek Orthodox Church hierarchy also participates in rampant financial fraud and abuse which is why we stopped pledging and now attend other denomination churches (recently Baptist). But DS wants our family to go to mass together in a church community. And he wants to participate in sacraments even if we the parents do not (as long as we bring him to church).

Regarding getting a "Catholic rate" -- Yes if we become members of a parish as a family but does not apply if we the parents don't convert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- THANKS for the helpful responses!! And sorry to offend by singling out only the Catholic Church for "rampant" abuses. Our Greek Orthodox Church hierarchy also participates in rampant financial fraud and abuse which is why we stopped pledging and now attend other denomination churches (recently Baptist). But DS wants our family to go to mass together in a church community. And he wants to participate in sacraments even if we the parents do not (as long as we bring him to church).

Regarding getting a "Catholic rate" -- Yes if we become members of a parish as a family but does not apply if we the parents don't convert.

At least in MD, a family can join a parish, but not fully convert. My parish has several interfaith families and also families in which parents are baptized Christians, but not confirmed as Catholic. The amount of pressure to do so may vary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If DS converts, do you get the catholic rate at his school?

Lol. That would be my exact question!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9-year-old DS started attending Catholic School this year and now wants to become a Catholic. He's attended church-sponsored preschools thus always interested in religion and a "believer." We are Orthodox Christians who don't currently attend any church though we did baptize DS as an infant. Neither of us want to renounce our Orthodox religion to convert to Catholicism ourselves and additionaly, we have serious moral concerns with the rampant abuse and cover-ups of the Catholic church (we don't want to explain these concerns to DS now to taint him).

We are ok with his decision as religion is important to DS and we don't plan on joining our local Orthodox or other church. So, can we have DS baptized as a Catholic without having to convert ourselves or join a parish? Can we have him baptized in another state (god parents) so his school church recognizes him as Catholic and allows him to receive communion? If we are not parish members, will he be able to participate in First Communion, Confirmation, and other sacraments? I've looked on Arlington Diocese and various Catholic Church websites but cannot find answers.

Was he baptized in the Orthodox church? The answer would be totally different depending on whether or not he's been baptized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assure you, the “rampant” abuse and cover ups you’re worried about were/are just as common in the Orthodox Church (and other churches, and schools, and correctional facilities, and foster care, etc., as in the Roman Catholic Church. The Church has never had a monopoly on perverts. It has, however, been a big financial target without sovereign immunity to protect it like public institutions.

Turning to your specific question, if your son is Orthodox, he is already “catholic” with a small “c.” If he wishes to affiliate with the Roman Church, the norm would be for him to join the Eastern Rite (essentially Orthodox churches in union with the Pope) branch most analogous to the Orthodox Church of his baptism. If he wishes to join the Latin rite (commonly the “Roman Catholic” Church), that is another step.

The best way to navigate this is to approach the pastor at the parish associated with the school. In the meantime he is free (at least from a Roman standpoint) to worship and receive Roman Catholic sacraments (although as PP observed this would likely not include Confirmation).

I’m a bit rusty on the subject. I’ve had friends and acquaintances who were “Uniates” (to borrow a term from my Orthodox friends). I know that the Catholic Church encourages people to stick with their rite as PP said. There is some niggle around sacraments / Mass if there is one of your rite within a reasonable distance. If your Eastern Rite doesn’t have a church nearby then yes I believe that you’re free and clear to participate in the Latin Rite. As pp said, check with a parish priest.

[Anonymous]

OP - awesome that you are open to this. My children are in Catholic schools in the area. I completely understand that DS wants to participate in full. I am 100% behind non-Catholic students in attendance and just hope that the kids feel comfortable without converting to Catholicism.
If it were me, I would be ok with DC converting if they felt strongly but perhaps at a later time. I would ask DC to wait for a year to make sure it is not a decision made too quickly in response to the new school setting. The associated parish priest would be a good contact. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Is he in 2nd grade now and feeling a bit left out because the class is preparing for First Communion? If that has already happened then I might encourage him to wait a few more years, continue his classes, and work with the pastor or appropriate person (our parish has a deacon who works with kids who are receiving sacraments in non-traditional years) and see if he would like to come into full communion with the church and be confirmed with his class in junior high. (If your parish does that in high school or if he's already confirmed as part of his orthodox baptism then you can find another time maybe in middle school to explore this again). In the meantime thank you for accepting his faith and being willing to take him to Mass. I'll be praying for you all to discern the right path for each of you to find your own faith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is already baptized, so there would be no “re-baptism.” In your religious tradition, I assume he was also confirmed at baptism. If so, then he would go through the RCIA program. Otherwise, he would go through the confirmation process with the kids his age assuming he is still in grade school.

This is true.

As a adult non-Catholic who attended and thrived mostly in Catholic schools, I went through a phase where I said I wanted to convert. My parents just encouraged me to go to our church more and talked about how similar our faiths are (which would also apply to you as an Orthodox Christian). I am, 30 years later, grateful that they recognized this impulse as a desire to fit in and not as an act of true faith. I was not mature enough to know the difference at the time. I am still of the faith of my birth, not Catholic, and while I see a lot of positives about the Catholic faith, I am glad and proud to be a member of my faith. For what it's worth.

[Anonymous]

Another way to look at it is -- what difference does it make, really, if he converts or not.

He's just a kid and will do whatever he wants about religion when he gets older.

A childhood conversion nedn't be permanent.