Time to cut off friend?

[Anonymous]

I was of the belief that we need to be able to talk to people with different belief systems, that we need to try to understand each other, that we need to save our judgment and talk to each other like human beings.

However, in the past two years alone, this friend has started dating someone outside of her marriage, turned into a trump supporter, has said racist things and is spouting Qanon conspiracy theories. I'm not even sure what we have in common anymore. I should let this friend go, right?

[Anonymous]

Yes. You tell your kids to hang out with good friends... ditto for you.

[Anonymous]

Of course. What could you possibly respect about her or learn from her!

[Anonymous]

OP here and if you can just humor me, allow me to talk this through. A thought exercise.

So in the past couple years, I have discovered that at least three of my friends are trump supporters. Not very close friends, but decades-long friendships, and I still keep in frequent contact with the one. My friends are not evil people, although I have always kept them at arm's length to some extent for one reason or another. And looking back on it, it was because I saw that they could be very mean to certain people that they identified as "enemies". And as I'm writing, I'm realizing they've always had drama-driven lives, had big feelings - both love and hate, and saw things in black and white to a certain extent - as in either you were good or bad, you were cool or uncool, you were a winner or a loser. If you are their close friend, they will be fiercely loyal and protective, and supportive.

I was so surprised to learn that they were trump supporters however. But it was eye-opening. A huge part of me finds it really hard to understand how any decent person could support someone so devoid of any moral compass, a leader who supports white supremacists, clearly a misogynist, a racist, a habitual liar to the people, stokes hate throughout the country and pushes policies that take away power from the powerless and give more power to the powerful. But I'm learning that apparently, it is not a far reach for a lot of people, even within my own friends.

Nearly half the country voted for this guy. This is what I'm trying to come to terms with. Nearly half the country wanted HIM as our president. I think about that a LOT.

So what - are we supposed to reject that half of our country? Declare them toxic and "bad" and reject them? How can we move forward as a nation, unless we come together somehow, as a nation of our people? All our people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was of the belief that we need to be able to talk to people with different belief systems, that we need to try to understand each other, that we need to save our judgment and talk to each other like human beings.

However, in the past two years alone, this friend has started dating someone outside of her marriage, turned into a trump supporter, has said racist things and is spouting Qanon conspiracy theories. I'm not even sure what we have in common anymore. I should let this friend go, right?

Does your friend have 3 kids and love in md? Or has this happened to multiple people? It's sad and scary. Do what you have to to protect yourself.

[Anonymous]

Yes, years ago.

[Anonymous]

Dump the friend just because of the affair. People having affairs are lousy friends.

[Anonymous]

People are selfish and support the politicians that best help their own wallets, basically. If they make a certain amount of money the republicans will give them tax breaks. In our case, the Democrats denied emergency relief funds for the industry that puts a roof over our heads. So no they didn’t get our vote either. I’d love to vote for the greater good but am not willing to sacrifice my family’s well being to do it. Has been the same for centuries.

[Anonymous]

Yes. She’s a nasty cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was of the belief that we need to be able to talk to people with different belief systems, that we need to try to understand each other, that we need to save our judgment and talk to each other like human beings.

However, in the past two years alone, this friend has started dating someone outside of her marriage, turned into a trump supporter, has said racist things and is spouting Qanon conspiracy theories. I'm not even sure what we have in common anymore. I should let this friend go, right?

Does your friend have 3 kids and love in md? Or has this happened to multiple people? It's sad and scary. Do what you have to to protect yourself.

No. I keep thinking she'll come back to her senses or that eventually she'll eventually see the light. But no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound very intolerant. Other people are not allowed to have different political views than you. Do yourself and them a favor and get out of their lives. Everyone will be happier.

New poster here. I am in the same situation as OP minus the friend having an affair. I have had people in my friend group actually state: BLM is a joke, Democrats are pro-abortion, masks don't work, Global Warming doesn't exist... and this is just off the top of my head. I had to stop hanging out with this group of friends, friends I have had for close to a decade, because they are just so far off in left field (or right field?) that I just don't know what to say. I can understand differences of opinion, but this group of friends also things mainstream news is all fake, and only listen to certain YouTube personalities. I just think the divide between us became too large... it's not longer friendly debate over a difference of opinion on how to solve an issue - they don't believe the issue exists to begin with.

[Anonymous]

You are the company you keep.

Tolerance isn't a virtue when you are ignoring and excusing things that are wrong.


I think many " it's just politics" people are going to be doing some hard thinking today.

[Anonymous]

OP here. And what about RBG's personal and close friendship with Scalia? Somehow she was able to maintain a respectful friendship with him despite their very different beliefs and philosophies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. And what about RBG's personal and close friendship with Scalia? Somehow she was able to maintain a respectful friendship with him despite their very different beliefs and philosophies.

Yeah. RBG wasn’t banging dudes outside of her marriage. Different views are one thing, completely different moral values is a different animal.

Cheating on her husband is disgusting. She’s a liar and a cheater. In this case, the political views just make her that much more despicable.

[Anonymous]

take this discussion to the political thread...