Appropriate to ask nanny if she attended a NYE gathering?

[Anonymous]

Our former nanny comes 1 day/week to help with distance learning. We’ve explained our covid precautions a bunch of times, and things have gone somewhat smoothly with a few hiccups. For example, she’s not good at social distancing if she sees other nannies she knows—she seems to think if she knows someone, there’s less of a risk. We took 3 weeks off for Xmas and NYE. She’s supposed to start on Monday. I’m wondering if it’s appropriate to ask her what she did for NYE and to delay the start date (and still pay) if she had plans with others. Is that invasive? My guess is that she saw a few friends. I know she’s not going to bars and parties, but I can imagine her thinking her close friends couldn’t possibly get her sick.

[Anonymous]

Ideally you would have addressed this with her in advance, but obviously that’s not much help now. As long as you’re prepared to pay her for the quarantine period I think it’s okay to ask. But bigger picture, I sent this going to be an ongoing issue? She could be getting together with people at any times she’s not working for you, so if you don’t trust that she’ll tKe appropriate precautions when she’s not working, you need to perpetually assume she may have been exposed.

[Anonymous]

You can ask, and she can lie.

[Anonymous]

You can ask, but I would not expect her to answer truthfully, especially given that this is only a one day per week gig, and thus, not something where she is counting on her credibility to keep a job that will sustain her financially.

[Anonymous]

You can ask, but unless it was stipulated in writing that she agreed not to go to parties, it is none of your business.

[Anonymous]

You can get covid from lots of places. Why are you focused on NYE?

[Anonymous]

Are you concerned if she's seeing people on "regular" weekends too? It seems like that may be the case (not judging, just to say that this may be broader than NYE).

[Anonymous]

I have a sitter too so I get it. It’s a risk. It is what it is. You can certainly ask her if you want to but I agree NYE isn’t different than a weekend.

And for people who judge having a sitter try having one of these very early elementary kids who can’t do school unsupervised and two working parents. It’s the sitter or we’d get fired or he pretty much wouldn’t be doing school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our former nanny comes 1 day/week to help with distance learning. We’ve explained our covid precautions a bunch of times, and things have gone somewhat smoothly with a few hiccups. For example, she’s not good at social distancing if she sees other nannies she knows—she seems to think if she knows someone, there’s less of a risk. We took 3 weeks off for Xmas and NYE. She’s supposed to start on Monday. I’m wondering if it’s appropriate to ask her what she did for NYE and to delay the start date (and still pay) if she had plans with others. Is that invasive? My guess is that she saw a few friends. I know she’s not going to bars and parties, but I can imagine her thinking her close friends couldn’t possibly get her sick.

You seem to think she is not too bright, or at least lacks common sense. Why have you asked her to assist in the education of your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our former nanny comes 1 day/week to help with distance learning. We’ve explained our covid precautions a bunch of times, and things have gone somewhat smoothly with a few hiccups. For example, she’s not good at social distancing if she sees other nannies she knows—she seems to think if she knows someone, there’s less of a risk. We took 3 weeks off for Xmas and NYE. She’s supposed to start on Monday. I’m wondering if it’s appropriate to ask her what she did for NYE and to delay the start date (and still pay) if she had plans with others. Is that invasive? My guess is that she saw a few friends. I know she’s not going to bars and parties, but I can imagine her thinking her close friends couldn’t possibly get her sick.

You seem to think she is not too bright, or at least lacks common sense. Why have you asked her to assist in the education of your children?

Because as the earlier poster said, no real choice.

[Anonymous]

Why would anyone change their lifestyle for a 1 day per week gig?

If you care you need someone full time. End of story.