How do I find good therapist for my kid?

[Anonymous]

I need to find a child therapist for my kid who has impulse control issues and binge eats. He’s a good kid and our hope is that the therapy (which was recommended by his doctor) will give him some tools to control his impulses. I haven’t received any recommendations, including from our doctor, and when I do online research I become quickly overwhelmed. There are a ton of therapists in my area (Montgomery County) listed on Psychology Today, which is helpful, but I cannot tell if these people would be a good fit for my kid or are any good at all. Alternatively, there are a lot of businesses with several therapists that I could call, but again, how can I tell if they would work?

I’m worried that if I “strike out” it will turn him off to therapy forever. He’s already very upset about having to do the therapy in the first place. I would appreciate any help or advice.

[Anonymous]

Dont have a great answer except in same boat in NoVa. Dont want to start down a road somewhere and waste time to determine they arent a good fit or qualified. Asked the school, they give a printout that has 80 names on it and wont make specific recs, probably for legal reasons.

[Anonymous]

PP again, I will say this -- frequently your pediatrician will have a list of referral options. Also the special needs forum on here can be solid in providing names/guidance

[Anonymous]

In Northern Virginia we have had good luck with Sunstone Counseling. Doing it virtually now which actually works surprisingly well

[Anonymous]

We went through our pediatrician who gave us 3-4 names that we researched. Worked out well.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a parent listserv in your area? I realize it makes it not anonymous but I’ve seen requests for this on ours and get some good recommendations so might be worth it. One other thing that could be helpful is reaching out to a place that works with issues more specific to your sons and even if they don’t have exactly what you need, ask for recommendations. For example, this eating disorder clinic in Montgomery county might have some good recommendations. I am not saying your son has an eating disorder, but not all therapists are very well trained in binge eating in my experience and the best tools to support kids/adults in that so I think finding someone with that specific background might be very helpful. a therapist who does not specialize in feeding stuff could potentially be harmful in that arena.

Here is the one I found, no personal connection but have experience with binge eating personally and have a mental health background. I read through their website and blog, and I find it to be aligned with what I know to be recommended. They work with kids 10+ and specify does not have to be an “eating disorder” and they aren’t focused on diagnosis. Lots of therapists and options. The therapy techniques they list are evidence based and ones I would want a therapist to use with my child. At a minimum of your child is younger or it doesn’t feel quite right they could at least provide some recommendations to outside therapies as they certainly refer out themselves sometimes.

https://www.theeatingdisordercenter.com/jennifer-rollin-msw-lcsw-c.html


Hope this helps! Good luck op.

[Anonymous]

Pp here and just want to be sure I’m clear that I’m not trying to insinuate your son has an eating disorder. I dealt with some binge eating and did not have binge eating disorder, and even with my own mental health background found working with someone specifically trained in this area to be extremely invaluable. I did not have the same experience with therapist that didn’t understand complex eating stuff. So I hope that doesn’t turn you off. The therapy approaches they use are very aligned with the impulse and other things you mentioned.

[Anonymous]

I had to call nine places before I found someone who would take my insurance. Jump in is my advice!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you everyone for this solid advice. I wish this process were easier and that we could sift through options in an anonymous manner that is more efficient. I appreciate the help!!

[Anonymous]

Although expensive, I had my kid see two providers, once each, and then choose one. This made for a better fit, an example of agency/choice-making, and a bigger investment in therapy by my kid.

[Anonymous]

IME, it's just trial and error. It does help to have someone who is trained in the issues your child is experiencing. But, it's a crapshoot as to whether it will be a good fit and whether the therapeutic techniques will be successful.

If you are planning to use insurance to cover the cost, you can get lists of providers from your carrier. In the DC area, it can cost $250 per hour so it adds up quickly.

[Anonymous]

Op, good luck! I've been looking on/off for a couple of months. Finding a therapist has been the hardest task when compared to finding other medical providers. Fit is so important, many of them are not accepting new patients, and if they do accept new patients, the wait is many months long. The other issue I've encountered is that many docs at places like Children's National specialize in ADHD or brain injury and are reluctant to treat kids outside of those areas.

[Anonymous]

Op, we recently had to seek a therapist for our child and I used two approaches:

1) asked my friends about child therapists they had used it recommended. About half of my friends had a name to give me.

2) looked online to seek out therapists near me. I looked in their websites and then called the ones I thought might be a good fit for my child’s problems.

From those sources, many were not taking new patients, did not work with children my child’s age, or did not work with the type of issues my child needed help with. Out of a list of about 15 names, I ended up with 2 that I liked. I ended up trying out the one who took insurance, which was very fortunate, but I was definitely willing to pay out of pocket, as the majority of providers did not take insurance. So far my child seems to be connecting with their therapist, but I have the other name as a backup if it doesn’t work out.

[Anonymous]

Try to take off the pressure of striking out op. A trial appointment does not hold that much weight! A good therapist will absolutely support right fit. A right fit imo is a good mesh personality wise so understands the kid (and you) but different enough to have new ideas and perspectives and encourage growth.

I would suggest finding three good ones and letting him pick based on the therapist's bio or their picture. You can interview with brief phone consults. Ask each a couple of questions (same ones) and compare the answers. Also tell them something you find endearing about your kid, how they respond can help determine good match.

I would also tell him that sometimes someone isn't the right fit, and sometimes we know right away, sometimes we know after a few appointments. Lots of times we get it right on the first try but sometimes we don't. Sometimes someone can help us for awhile but when we are older or have a different situation someone else might be better.

Teach him therapists and their individual value is fluid and something he gets to have some say over and that will be a great gift for his future.