How to encourage sibling to save for college for her kids

[Anonymous]

I come from a wealthy family but unfortunately my parents were the black sheep on both sides. They were lazy etc. Fortunately, I had wonderful grandparents that helped me out A LOT. They paid for my college, bought me my first car, paid for my wedding etc. I was very academically motivated. My sibling on the other hand, eventually got an associates degree but isn’t really into college. Her husband is never went to college.

I started a 529 plan for the kid and am contributing each year but not nearly what is needed- think 500 to 1k per year. I was hoping that by opening an account and continuing to fund it that sibling would get excited and start contributing to it as well. Sibling has about 7 more years to save but I’m afraid even at current contributions that fund might have only between 5k-10k total. Sibling seems unconcerned. It makes me sad.

I can’t really contribute more than what I currently am as I have 2 older children that will be heading off to college in a few years. My siblings wants to wait and deal with it once the time comes. I’m sure sibling’s kid will qualify for aid but with colleges costs so high, I wish I could do more to encourage saving.

Any thoughts? If you disagree with saving for college, please do not respond.

[Anonymous]

Gosh I don’t think this is in your control. What is her financial situation?

[Anonymous]

Depending on how much your sibling makes, a 529 may not be the best use of her money. She should be maxing out 401k, roths, (which could be used for education) and an HSA if they have one. Maybe they just don't have money to contribute to a 529 plan.

It is nice of you to help, but maybe they feel like you are overstepping. Just keep supporting your niece and nephew and let them know you are there to help with advice about college as they get older.

[Anonymous]

I grew up pretty wealthy and am umc myself. Have fully funded my 529 and now think maybe even too much. My siblings are pretty much in same situation and all of our kids will go to college, some even very expensive colleges. But I noticed that my DH’s family, who are poor and do not go to college, seem happier. They all pull together no matter what and enjoy each other’s company in simple get togethers. Anyway, let your sister be. Not everything revolves around college and money.

[Anonymous]

529s are no good- too many rules. Let them figure it out for themselves and help out when you can and if they want you to help them.
Had you used the money to buy stocks of some good companies, you could pay cash for the child's college in 7 years. Since you thought 529 is a better way to go, you are clearly in no position to do any financial planning for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up pretty wealthy and am umc myself. Have fully funded my 529 and now think maybe even too much. My siblings are pretty much in same situation and all of our kids will go to college, some even very expensive colleges. But I noticed that my DH’s family, who are poor and do not go to college, seem happier. They all pull together no matter what and enjoy each other’s company in simple get togethers. Anyway, let your sister be. Not everything revolves around college and money.

My SIL is the same way but my ILs are paying for niece/ nephew’s college. They were going to split it with our kids but we said no because we wanted them to graduate with no debt. I feel bad that there will be no one to step in for sibling.

[Anonymous]

I mean, I think there's plenty of room to worry about your own financial situation without getting into your sister's. Sorry I know that's harsh, but someone complaining about this... You would think they would have everything fully funded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I think there's plenty of room to worry about your own financial situation without getting into your sister's. Sorry I know that's harsh, but someone complaining about this... You would think they would have everything fully funded.

Sorry I thought you were only saving $500 in the 529 for your kid. I misread I apologize.

I think all you can do is contribute what you can, and hopefully that will be helpful to your niece and nephew one day. The rest you have to let go

[Anonymous]

Retirement before college, OP. Perhaps they don’t have enough for both?

[Anonymous]

You cannot. We have friends like that and they have had the kids take out full loans promising to help pay them back but realistically they cannot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I come from a wealthy family but unfortunately my parents were the black sheep on both sides. They were lazy etc. Fortunately, I had wonderful grandparents that helped me out A LOT. They paid for my college, bought me my first car, paid for my wedding etc. I was very academically motivated. My sibling on the other hand, eventually got an associates degree but isn’t really into college. Her husband is never went to college.

I started a 529 plan for the kid and am contributing each year but not nearly what is needed- think 500 to 1k per year. I was hoping that by opening an account and continuing to fund it that sibling would get excited and start contributing to it as well. Sibling has about 7 more years to save but I’m afraid even at current contributions that fund might have only between 5k-10k total. Sibling seems unconcerned. It makes me sad.

I can’t really contribute more than what I currently am as I have 2 older children that will be heading off to college in a few years. My siblings wants to wait and deal with it once the time comes. I’m sure sibling’s kid will qualify for aid but with colleges costs so high, I wish I could do more to encourage saving.

Any thoughts? If you disagree with saving for college, please do not respond.

Ain't your place to get involved. You've already done more than enough by opening an account for your sibling and providing initial funding. If that didn't compel her to grab the reins, I'm not sure anything will. Focus on your own college-bound kids.

[Anonymous]

I think you are doing all you can about college savings for your sibling's kids. How about focusing on encouraging the kids to pursue their interests? Show enthusiasm about what they like to do, encourage them to stick with it, and maybe if an opportunity arises, let them know that you would be like to help make it happen.

[Anonymous]

MYOB

[Anonymous]

Wow I am dismayed you are being criticized. You are doing a wonderful thing. Maybe talk to your niece/nephew + sister separately. It is your business contrary to crabby D.C.U.M. Folks. Family needs to look out for family. No one should turn out worse than their parents good luck + God speed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow I am dismayed you are being criticized. You are doing a wonderful thing. Maybe talk to your niece/nephew + sister separately. It is your business contrary to crabby D.C.U.M. Folks. Family needs to look out for family. No one should turn out worse than their parents good luck + God speed!

No. OP is inserting herself into her sibling’s finances. She needs to butt out.