I am a married mom and have so much for respect for SMs

[Anonymous]

As a relatively new mom, I wonder almost every day how in the world a single mom can raise one child..or more! It IS by far the hardest job I have ever had (even with a husband) and I had no idea how demanding it would be until I actually had my child. I love her to pieces (that part is easy) and I just want let you all know that as a married mom, I have to hand it to you and congratulate you for everything you are doing for you little ones. How do you do it?????

[Anonymous]

I have been a single mom from the start (my DS is now 3 yrs old) and a lot of people ask me how I do it. I always tell them "I don't have much choice." Even though I am dog tired at the end of some days, my son still needs dinner, bath, etc. The few times my mom has come to help me out, I actually feel incredibly lazy sitting around while she does those things. I have never felt more accomplished and empowered than I feel as a single parent. My mom raised my brother and me by herself so I know it can be done (and done well).

[Anonymous]

I absolutely agree with PP. I am a single mom by choice (as opposed to a single mom by change or by chance) to a 3 year old. Since I have never had any help from a spouse or a partner, I have no expectations of having help from anyone. I know that I am on my own and I think that helps me "deal" a lot with the day-to-day challenges of raising him, plus working, shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc. Not sure I'm articulating this in the best way I can - long day.

[Anonymous]

Another single mom by choice of a three year old (we should all get together...although probably none of us have any time!) It is just how life it...it is all my responsibility and I don't even think about it being a burden really. I find it hardest when my son is sick in the middle of the night and I have to decide on my own how to manage it...or to stay up all night with him.

[Anonymous]

I am a single mother from the start as well (though there is child support from uninvolved parent)... I can say that there are some things about single parenting that are easier then couples - like making decisions, and only having to take care of ONE other person (rather then a marriage on top of parenting).

The toughest part single parenting for me is the logistics - there is no flexibility to your schedule; but you always need to be flexible for them.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree with the PP who said you don't get resentful of anyone else 'not helping' with their share of child-rearing or housecleaning. You are it, and you know it. There's no simmering resentment of a DH sitting on the couch watching TV. (Can you tell I was married to a couch potato moocher?) It's somehow easier than hoping for help that never came.

Ditto about the logistics, especially for three kids with differing sports schedules/ school hours. And not having any sick days for me...

[Anonymous]

I am one of the PP and recently attended a bday party w/ my son for a friend of his. I found myself very resentful towards the host father since he literally did NOTHING while his wife ran around trying to do everything. I thank my lucky stars I don't have to deal with that. I do pretty much everything for my son and while some things don't get done, the important ones always do. My son also knows that the "Buck stops here" which makes things a lot easier. There is no playing parents off against one another. Now, if I could just get someone to babysit for free every other week or so, things would be just perfect

[Anonymous]

Although I am not truely a single mom, I feel like one sometimes b/c my husband is gone 6 out of 12 months every year. He misses all the milestones, partys, holidays. ect. When he does get home, it is hard b/c I have done it myself, my way that I do not want to change. I think being a single parent is a hard job, regardless how you got there.

[Anonymous]

I'm a PP. I agree that some things are easier: not having to consult on all decisions and not having to deal with frictions about dividing child care responsibilities with someone else. But I miss having backup for logistics and the ability to run out of the house on the spur of the moment sometimes....and sometimes it would be nice to share some of the wonderful moments with someone who thinks your child is the most wonderful child in the world too.