DH not interested in sex
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I'm a fit, very attractive, 43 year old woman and my DH never seems to be interested in sex with me. I would be happy to have sex everyday but it is just hurtful at this point to feel so undesired particularly when I think of myself as an open, adventurous person. We are seeing a counselor but I'm wondering if this is something even fixable. Any women in a similar position and what was the compromise/resolution? |
Anonymous
|
You can't fix it.
This is his to fix. He may not be interested in you because he: -doesn't like you -having sex with someone else -porn addition -hormones are low -erectile problems -depression |
Anonymous
| PP forgot gay. |
Anonymous
|
I was in this position, but it started as soon as we were married in mid-30s. It was a hormone problem. Other things happened (we should not have married in the first place). I become resentful and did not want to have sex with him. We had an almost completely sexless marriage for 10 years. We are divorced now.
Low hormones can be treated. If that is just the problem, or depression or erectile problems, I think it can be fixed. But if you have more than one problem in the marriage (physical plus emotional connection issues), then it is either a sexless marriage or divorce. |
Anonymous
| For me the solution was finally a divorce but his lack of interest was only one of our issues. I was 40, fit and attractive and once divorced plenty of men had an interest in me and that really helped rebuild my self esteem. Hopefully you will be able to identify the problem and solve it, especially if the lack of sex is the only big issue in your marriage. |
Anonymous
Also he could be ill and / or fat |
Anonymous
|
Make sure you're being realistic. Once a day may not be his idea of a good time but can you agree on 2x monthly? But of it's really zero,
Get a full physical Get psychotherapy Get psychologist If it's still a total no go, open the marriage one way |
Anonymous
|
Every day? Most men would LOVE that. But you aren't married to most men. Were you and DH having sex every day up until just recently? When did that change?
What exactly does he say when he rejects your advances? |
Anonymous
Is this a man posting and a role reversal thread? |
Anonymous
Jeepers, not everything centers men. |
Anonymous
+ 1. |
Anonymous
| If OP didn't claim to be 43, fit, and attractive, I would think it was my wife. Maybe he's actually sleeping with someone that is fit and attractive. |
Anonymous
| Cheating |
Anonymous
| OP here. I said I would be happy with once a day but of course wouldn't expect that and recognize that everyone has different drives. It is a subject that he is uncomfortable with but I'm hoping that the counseling will help open up about whether it is something medical/hormonal and why he is so hesitant to see a doctor. It is just tough as a woman to feel so undesired particularly when I know that I am objectively attractive and most of my girlfriends seem to have the opposite problem! |
Anonymous
| Yeah he is getting it elsewhere. |