Working the day of my FET?

[Anonymous]

I have read that a lot of women take the day off for their FET. My FET is scheduled for a day that if I take off, will really leave my coworkers in a pinch. Do you think it is a bad idea to go back to work after the transfer? I telework due to the pandemic, but do have to take video conference calls during the day. I may ask my doctor if it is possible to push the FET back a day. Thoughts from others who have had FETs?

[Anonymous]

No. It’s fine. Go back to work. There’s no real reason to rest unless you have the luxury of time to do it.

[Anonymous]

There is zero reason why you can't work after a FET. It's just a catheter through the cervix - quick and easy (and nothing like an egg retrieval).

[Anonymous]

The real question to me is if it *doesn’t* work, will you be mad at yourself for not taking the rest of the day off?

I’ve always taken the day off but it’s a luxury more for my peace of mind than a requirement. It’s worked for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real question to me is if it *doesn’t* work, will you be mad at yourself for not taking the rest of the day off?

My RE insisted on bed rest (to the point where they did not even want me to go to a follow=up acupuncture appointment that day. Even though I had read and knew the literature did not support bedrest - I strictly adhered because of the issue that if it did not work - it would have been hard not to blame myself. I admit I got very frustrated when I read a piece by another doctor (head of a the main clinic of which my clinic was an affiliate) talking about women "who confined themselves to bed" which was totally ridiculous way to put it given that the bedrest instructions were totally RE driven.

I think if i really needed to work from home on a conference call that would have been ok though... (Most of my conference calls can in theory be done from bed...) but my clinic did tell me to take off.

[Anonymous]

I did post transfer acupuncture both times and they were just what I needed to calm my nerves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real question to me is if it *doesn’t* work, will you be mad at yourself for not taking the rest of the day off?

I’ve always taken the day off but it’s a luxury more for my peace of mind than a requirement. It’s worked for me.

This. If the transfer doesn’t work you don’t want to be saying “what if.” Only you know how much you would blame yourself or second guess yourself.

[Anonymous]

No, just sit on the couch and do your work from there.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine.

[Anonymous]

The only reason to take the day off from a desk job for a FET is for your mental health.

I remember hearing the woman in the cubicle next to me on the phone working while she was waiting for her's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, just sit on the couch and do your work from there.

This. I worked from home the day of my successful FET and it was fine. But as another poster said, it's more about managing regret - if the FET doesn't work and you worked, will you beat yourself up over it? If so, don't work at all and just lay on the couch.

[Anonymous]

There is literally zero reason to take the day off (or to push the transfer back) if you feel you need to be at work the rest of the day of, OP. You'll be fine, truly, and so will your embryo. Please don't listen to these women saying, "oh, but if it doesn't work, you'll always wonder if it was your fault and regret it the rest of your life!" I know they're well-meaning but that is 100% wrong and even giving voice to it gives it a kind of legitimacy and place in all our minds it does. not. deserve. NOTHING you do is going at this point to affect whether your FET successfully implants or not. Your body is going to handle it all on its own no matter what you're doing. Women have gestated and given birth to full-term babies in concentration camps, for God's sake, and the notion that a middle-class professional office worker is somehow going to wreck implantation by sitting at her desk instead of laying in bed for 24 hours is right up there with anti-vaxxer nonsense. And prepping yourself for potential regret is completely unproductive. One of the things I dislike most about the infertility process is how much grief and shame porn has been built up around it. Yes, it's normal to feel anxious, sad, or grieve for lost possibilities at points in the process, but there's definitely an element of frenzy that we sometimes whip each other up into that is not helpful.

Hang in there. Good luck, and I really hope this is a sticky one for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is literally zero reason to take the day off (or to push the transfer back) if you feel you need to be at work the rest of the day of, OP. You'll be fine, truly, and so will your embryo. Please don't listen to these women saying, "oh, but if it doesn't work, you'll always wonder if it was your fault and regret it the rest of your life!" I know they're well-meaning but that is 100% wrong and even giving voice to it gives it a kind of legitimacy and place in all our minds it does. not. deserve. NOTHING you do is going at this point to affect whether your FET successfully implants or not. Your body is going to handle it all on its own no matter what you're doing. Women have gestated and given birth to full-term babies in concentration camps, for God's sake, and the notion that a middle-class professional office worker is somehow going to wreck implantation by sitting at her desk instead of laying in bed for 24 hours is right up there with anti-vaxxer nonsense. And prepping yourself for potential regret is completely unproductive. One of the things I dislike most about the infertility process is how much grief and shame porn has been built up around it. Yes, it's normal to feel anxious, sad, or grieve for lost possibilities at points in the process, but there's definitely an element of frenzy that we sometimes whip each other up into that is not helpful.

Hang in there. Good luck, and I really hope this is a sticky one for you.

I'm the pp whose RE required 48 hours of bed rest. If I had gone AGAINST MEDICAL ADVICE and the FET failed, yes I would have wondered if I had actually followed the instructions of my doctor would the outcome be different. So OP should absolutely listen to her doctor (not mine obviously!) I did my best to adhere to the post FET instructions I was given and the FET worked. I used the space and time to do some mind-body visualizations for implantation. In the end it's about making space in your body and your life for a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is literally zero reason to take the day off (or to push the transfer back) if you feel you need to be at work the rest of the day of, OP. You'll be fine, truly, and so will your embryo. Please don't listen to these women saying, "oh, but if it doesn't work, you'll always wonder if it was your fault and regret it the rest of your life!" I know they're well-meaning but that is 100% wrong and even giving voice to it gives it a kind of legitimacy and place in all our minds it does. not. deserve. NOTHING you do is going at this point to affect whether your FET successfully implants or not. Your body is going to handle it all on its own no matter what you're doing. Women have gestated and given birth to full-term babies in concentration camps, for God's sake, and the notion that a middle-class professional office worker is somehow going to wreck implantation by sitting at her desk instead of laying in bed for 24 hours is right up there with anti-vaxxer nonsense. And prepping yourself for potential regret is completely unproductive. One of the things I dislike most about the infertility process is how much grief and shame porn has been built up around it. Yes, it's normal to feel anxious, sad, or grieve for lost possibilities at points in the process, but there's definitely an element of frenzy that we sometimes whip each other up into that is not helpful.

Hang in there. Good luck, and I really hope this is a sticky one for you.

I would like to add that this is a ridiculous argument since women in concentration camps are not paying tens of thousands of dollars to become pregnant and women popping out babies under those conditions are not infertile. FET is a totally artificial process and it is good to follow the professional's advice (ie. your RE) that you are paying the tens of thousands of dollars to for the help to become pregnant.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. Thank you for all the advice. I ended up teleworking after my FET. My doctor did not include bed rest or even exercise restrictions in my post-procedure protocol, so I figured it wouldn’t matter too much either way. Anyway, I had my beta test this week and it was positive! If it had been negative, I can see how it would be easy to second guess every little thing I did during the 2ww.