Anyone's college aged teen going away with friends?

[Anonymous]

Step son rented a house with multiple other buddies who are home from college. Paid for it himself. Riding in buddies car (after he asked DH for his car and DH said no). DH and his ex have said it all, quoted all of the stats, tried guilt etc. Kid going anyway. Leaves Sunday means returning 12/23 and missing Christmas with everyone (due to his trip - DH not going to go over to his ex's for 7-10 days after stepson returns, ex and step daughter leaving on 12/23 for family Christmas for a few days and will be gone before step son gets home - extended family not thrilled about this trip I'm told so step son not going).

Not my circus, not my acrobats but its a bummer, DH is really upset about it. I'm trying to think what I wouldve said to my own kid to stop them if it were me but then again, I don't know that my kid wouldve booked this trip with a return date of two days before Christmas. I like to hope not anyway. I'd be super pissed.

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is that big a deal (Covid aside). College kids have spent an unnatural amount of time at home in the past 9 months. They should be out with friends being independent. My son (who has already had Covid) is currently away with friends, and I'm happy he's getting out of the house. Also, would rather have him doing this than sitting at home depressed. There is plenty of time over the break to build in family time.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not in our family. Too great an exposure to COViD haven’t you been reading what college Presidentd are telling their students to do during break?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is that big a deal (Covid aside). College kids have spent an unnatural amount of time at home in the past 9 months. They should be out with friends being independent. My son (who has already had Covid) is currently away with friends, and I'm happy he's getting out of the house. Also, would rather have him doing this than sitting at home depressed. There is plenty of time over the break to build in family time.

Yeah I don't think you can make COVID an "aside" for this situation. It would not be an issue at all if not for COVID.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is that big a deal (Covid aside). College kids have spent an unnatural amount of time at home in the past 9 months. They should be out with friends being independent. My son (who has already had Covid) is currently away with friends, and I'm happy he's getting out of the house. Also, would rather have him doing this than sitting at home depressed. There is plenty of time over the break to build in family time.

"Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the ply?"

[Anonymous]

He’s over 18. So he can travel if he wants to but that doesn’t mean you have to allow him to be around you during a pandemic if he is not being cautious enough for you. I would not let him in your house until 14 days after he gets back. In fact given his behavior I’m not sure I’d let him in your house at all. See him after you’ve all been vaccinated.

[Anonymous]

Well, I know college kids who just aren't returning home for Christmas at all.

From your husband's point of view, this is the same as that. He's just not going to see his son for Christmas this year.

Has stepson been away at college or doing college at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I know college kids who just aren't returning home for Christmas at all.

From your husband's point of view, this is the same as that. He's just not going to see his son for Christmas this year.

Has stepson been away at college or doing college at home?

Came home at Thanksgiving and they arent returning until Spring (we knew this when he flew home for Thanksgiving). All of the students were sent home at that time not just step son.

[Anonymous]

Sure DH is bummed but we all have times we're disappointed in our kid's actions. This is just another life lesson in natural consequences. Kid makes a choice; kid lives with the fallout. Looks like he's not having Christmas with anyone. He can enjoy some microwave Mac n cheese and wonder why Santa didn't come.

(Although why is ex grumbling about the kid's travel if she's traveling to a family holiday?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s over 18. So he can travel if he wants to but that doesn’t mean you have to allow him to be around you during a pandemic if he is not being cautious enough for you. I would not let him in your house until 14 days after he gets back. In fact given his behavior I’m not sure I’d let him in your house at all. See him after you’ve all been vaccinated.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not in our family. Too great an exposure to COViD haven’t you been reading what college Presidentd are telling their students to do during break?

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not in our family. Too great an exposure to COViD haven’t you been reading what college Presidentd are telling their students to do during break?

+1.

How can you stop an adult from taking a trip? He’s an adult. You can refuse to pay for it and not see him afterwards. You can tell him he can’t stay with you. That’s about it.

My adult brother recently flew on a plane. My sister and I had all of the same conversations about why this wasn’t safe. We aren’t his parents but we are family. Neither of us saw him for Thanksgiving afterwards but that’s about it. You have no control over other adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure DH is bummed but we all have times we're disappointed in our kid's actions. This is just another life lesson in natural consequences. Kid makes a choice; kid lives with the fallout. Looks like he's not having Christmas with anyone. He can enjoy some microwave Mac n cheese and wonder why Santa didn't come.

(Although why is ex grumbling about the kid's travel if she's traveling to a family holiday?)

Because he was meant to go with her and his sibling to this family holiday - she wants to see her son on Christmas.

As a follow up to this: 9 boys going on trip, I failed to mention in the original post that Dh and Ex were told this whole time that they were all getting tested and of course it turns out that one of the boys never did it and step son still did not have his test results back today (took his test on Thursday). They all went anyway, left this morning. Happy Holidays!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is that big a deal (Covid aside). College kids have spent an unnatural amount of time at home in the past 9 months. They should be out with friends being independent. My son (who has already had Covid) is currently away with friends, and I'm happy he's getting out of the house. Also, would rather have him doing this than sitting at home depressed. There is plenty of time over the break to build in family time.

"Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the ply?"

haha! I'm sorry, I just love this response (not judging OP, just loved the PP)