Xmas/Travel/Husband
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Anonymous
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My MIL and SIL and her family live 3 hours away. My DH wants to go to MIL's house for Xmas. We have gone round and round about it because I think we should stay home. She is high risk (65+ and obese). SHe is pretty careful about going out and about, and she rarely socializes. However, we'd stay at her house, which I think is just risky. His SIL and family are in public school/daycare/office, and while they believe they are careful, they aren't as careful as we are and it makes me nervous that they'll be exposed and then expose us. Their area is also a bigger city and has higher infection rates. DH's dad died this year, and I think that's part of the reason he just isn't wanting to cancel Xmas with his MIL.
I am just not sure what to do. I've said IF we go, we will see NO ONE except his MIL and his SIL and family, but I think even this is too risky. I also said that if hospitals are 60% fulll in either our destination city or in our city, we will not go. I think it is irresponsible to travel. I think it puts his mom at risk. I think it puts us at risk. I think that if any of us got sick/had an accident/needed hospital care, we'd have a hard time getting it due to exhausted medical personnel and high occupancy rates. DH hears me but it isn't registering with him that these are actual risks. I am not sure what to do? What to say? I don't want to refuse to go or refuse that our children go. Especially this year, since his dad died. But??? |
Anonymous
| You have to refuse; you can’t drag your kids into a situation where someone will get sick and health care will be this hard to get. |
Anonymous
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Can you go and stay in a hotel, then visit for the day masked? Or drive up early in the morning and make a day trip of it with masks the whole time? And get all involved to agree?
I am with you that staying with multiple family groups unmasked strikes me as negligent. |
Anonymous
| The vaccine is coming out soon. Just hold on for a few more months. Now is not the time to visit. |
Anonymous
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My MIL was also recently widowed this year, and is local, but we aren't going over on Christmas because she is having other relatives stay with her who don't take COVID precautions seriously. I am not risking my family's health. DH will likely drop gifts off on Christmas Eve and not stay.
If it your SIL's family you are concerned about, what if your family drove up to see MIL just before Christmas, and had a short visit with her before the rest of the family showed up on Christmas day? |
Anonymous
| Don’t go. She will be with SIL and not alone. |
Anonymous
| absolutely don't go. this should be a no brainer, but i am dealing with family like your DH, so.... |
Anonymous
| I had a version of this. I want to stay home, my husband really wants to visit his parents (driving distance). I eventually caved, but in our case (1) both sides are willing to do a pre-trip quarantine with testing, (2) we will only see them, not any other family, and (3) no one is working outside the home, etc. So the risk is much lower. In your case, your SIL's family is doing stuff in-person on a daily basis, so there's no way to quarantine before the trip and their exposure risk is MUCH higher than yours. |
Anonymous
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What are you really concerned about? Are you concerned about yourself or your MIL. It seems like SIL and her husband and kids already see the MIL all the time. If you and your family already work from home and don't go to school in person I think the extra risk from your family being there is very minimal. Especially since the trip is just 3 hours and you won't have to stop anywhere on the way or travel by plane.
Personally I'd do it since it is very important for your husband. If you look at the risks for your actual family, they are super low even if you did get sick. |
Anonymous
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We've decided that we're only open to visiting or being visited by, people who will do a full 7 day quarantine with a test on day 5.
So, if SIL is unwilling to pull her kids from school, that'd be a no from me. |
Anonymous
I should add, we would do the same (7 day quarantine + test on day 5) |