Infertility struggles during pandemic

[Anonymous]

Is anyone else really struggling on their infertility journey this year in particular? I miscarried our first embryo transfer this summer and it’s taken many months post-D&C to get my cycles back on track and to complete the advanced testing that my RE ordered after losing a PGS normal. Now that we can finally try again, I’m afraid to do another transfer while the cases are rising and the more time goes on, I’m really having a hard time hearing about all of the people around me who are expecting and feeling jealous that they can TTC naturally without taking additional risks by going to the doctors office every other day or so as is required for IVF. I just want to start our family already and I need something joyous to cling to during these tough times when my normal coping mechanisms are largely unavailable (weekend away, drinks with friends, massage, etc). Any tips or suggestions that have worked for others? Thanks

[Anonymous]

I’m right there with you! It’s awful. We got a kitten and he brought some more fun and energy into our home. Definitely helps with the stress.

[Anonymous]

+2 to getting a pet. Helps to have something to direct my mothering towards.

[Anonymous]

I agree it's so tough. I went for a walk and saw 4 pregnant women (I'm in Capitol Hill so that's part of the problem). My coworker is expecting her 2nd and we started trying when she found out about her first. It just feels so crappy. But I'm trying to spend less time on social media (also full of pregnant women) and focusing more on the good things in my life, my awesome husband, and choosing/making some gifts for loved ones. I don't want to look back on our years of trying and think of them as a waste in any way. Everyone is different but this is my plan. Wishing you all the best!

[Anonymous]

Ask them to transfer more than one unless you really can't handle twins. It does increase chance of success

[Anonymous]

struggling. In some ways I’ve weirdly been grateful to go through this during the pandemic. I can’t imagine all the drugs and progesterone leakage panic if I were in the office. But I hear you on feeling robbed of helpful coping mechanisms. I bought a bunch of coloring books (one called “Maybe Swearing Will Help” and some paint by numbers kits to distract and focus me. I also have been doing a lot of (easy) baking.

Sending love and light your way - you will get through this!

[Anonymous]

The time I took trying to get pregnant the first time was an incredibly difficult time for me. I'm a "fixer" - and when you're trying, there's so little you can DO at the end of the day to make it work. It was only 7 months (I got lucky) but I totally feel for you.

What really helped me was to throw myself at something creative. I've never been an artist or painter, but I found this series on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXUkNk1HRolGDP9dGiEtfkG_IJNyk49Kf

Big Art Quest by the Art Sherpa, who's real name, if you can believe it, is Cinnamon. It's a weekly series, one year long, that teaches you to paint. I think I only got through the first like 8 weeks before I got pregnant, but it was absolutely game changing. Strongly recommend.

Taking some of that anxious energy and spending the day in an art store rubbing brushes on my face (per Cinnamon's advice!) seems silly in retrospect, but it was great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The time I took trying to get pregnant the first time was an incredibly difficult time for me. I'm a "fixer" - and when you're trying, there's so little you can DO at the end of the day to make it work. It was only 7 months (I got lucky) but I totally feel for you.

What really helped me was to throw myself at something creative. I've never been an artist or painter, but I found this series on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXUkNk1HRolGDP9dGiEtfkG_IJNyk49Kf

Big Art Quest by the Art Sherpa, who's real name, if you can believe it, is Cinnamon. It's a weekly series, one year long, that teaches you to paint. I think I only got through the first like 8 weeks before I got pregnant, but it was absolutely game changing. Strongly recommend.

Taking some of that anxious energy and spending the day in an art store rubbing brushes on my face (per Cinnamon's advice!) seems silly in retrospect, but it was great.

I just want to clarify - I recognize that I did not deal with infertility, and I'm grateful for that, and I'm not trying to compare my 7 months to what you must be going through. Though the intensity is different though, the type of emotion is similar so I thought what helped me might help you. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The time I took trying to get pregnant the first time was an incredibly difficult time for me. I'm a "fixer" - and when you're trying, there's so little you can DO at the end of the day to make it work. It was only 7 months (I got lucky) but I totally feel for you.

What really helped me was to throw myself at something creative. I've never been an artist or painter, but I found this series on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXUkNk1HRolGDP9dGiEtfkG_IJNyk49Kf

Big Art Quest by the Art Sherpa, who's real name, if you can believe it, is Cinnamon. It's a weekly series, one year long, that teaches you to paint. I think I only got through the first like 8 weeks before I got pregnant, but it was absolutely game changing. Strongly recommend.

Taking some of that anxious energy and spending the day in an art store rubbing brushes on my face (per Cinnamon's advice!) seems silly in retrospect, but it was great.

OMG, are you posting on the INFERTILITY FORUM giving advice about RELAXING after it took you 7 months to get pregnant? I have so, so many things to say to you, but PLEASE KNOW YOUR PLACE AND GTFO. My first took 7 months and I've been trying for my second for 3 years. I can definitively say you have no idea what you're talking about, so have some common sense and manners and leave us alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The time I took trying to get pregnant the first time was an incredibly difficult time for me. I'm a "fixer" - and when you're trying, there's so little you can DO at the end of the day to make it work. It was only 7 months (I got lucky) but I totally feel for you.

What really helped me was to throw myself at something creative. I've never been an artist or painter, but I found this series on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXUkNk1HRolGDP9dGiEtfkG_IJNyk49Kf

Big Art Quest by the Art Sherpa, who's real name, if you can believe it, is Cinnamon. It's a weekly series, one year long, that teaches you to paint. I think I only got through the first like 8 weeks before I got pregnant, but it was absolutely game changing. Strongly recommend.

Taking some of that anxious energy and spending the day in an art store rubbing brushes on my face (per Cinnamon's advice!) seems silly in retrospect, but it was great.

OMG, are you posting on the INFERTILITY FORUM giving advice about RELAXING after it took you 7 months to get pregnant? I have so, so many things to say to you, but PLEASE KNOW YOUR PLACE AND GTFO. My first took 7 months and I've been trying for my second for 3 years. I can definitively say you have no idea what you're talking about, so have some common sense and manners and leave us alone.

I completely apologize, you are absolutely, 100% right. I had posted again shortly after, I know that this is in now way comparable, and again you are totally right, I really am sorry.

Honestly, the only reason I posted is that I loved this YouTube series, and it might help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OMG, are you posting on the INFERTILITY FORUM giving advice about RELAXING after it took you 7 months to get pregnant? I have so, so many things to say to you, but PLEASE KNOW YOUR PLACE AND GTFO. My first took 7 months and I've been trying for my second for 3 years. I can definitively say you have no idea what you're talking about, so have some common sense and manners and leave us alone.

Although she really should have left out the 7 months part, she had good intentions and was trying to give OP a helpful suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The time I took trying to get pregnant the first time was an incredibly difficult time for me. I'm a "fixer" - and when you're trying, there's so little you can DO at the end of the day to make it work. It was only 7 months (I got lucky) but I totally feel for you.

What really helped me was to throw myself at something creative. I've never been an artist or painter, but I found this series on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXUkNk1HRolGDP9dGiEtfkG_IJNyk49Kf

Big Art Quest by the Art Sherpa, who's real name, if you can believe it, is Cinnamon. It's a weekly series, one year long, that teaches you to paint. I think I only got through the first like 8 weeks before I got pregnant, but it was absolutely game changing. Strongly recommend.

Taking some of that anxious energy and spending the day in an art store rubbing brushes on my face (per Cinnamon's advice!) seems silly in retrospect, but it was great.

Thank you for the recommendation, I’m excited to try it! I painted a bit to help me relax a few months ago, but ran out of inspiration as my fertility struggles dragged on (and continue to drag on, ugh). Maybe this course will give me some ideas!

[Anonymous]

I also lost my first (euploid, donor egg) FET this summer, and am presently convinced that i'm going to miscarry our last embryo any day now. i don't have any suggestions, just a whole lot of being in a similar trench. i'd sit and drink a lot except, well, in theory i'm pregnant right now.

[Anonymous]

We went through IF (IUIs, surgeries, IVF, etc) years ago.
I just can not stop thinking that dealing with IF in the time of covid would be THE WORST. I felt like I was basically out of my mind for 3 years even in “normal times”. I could hardly concentrate enough to get through a book, but I did listen to a bunch of audiobooks (podcasts weren’t that common back then). I stuck to nonfiction (not biographies), since characters kept getting pregnant, and then I’d get pissed off that historical figures and fictional characters could get pregnant but I couldn’t.
My heart goes out to everyone. 2020 sucks.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP. I had three miscarriages in a year before being able to have our son. It was a very dark year. I’m sure it would have felt darker during this pandemic. I spent the final months of that year trying to help others less
Fortunate even though I didn’t want to do anything but be in bed and eat chocolate chips It helped. I adopted a family through a church for Christmas and bought the things on their list including baby items and wrapped them and took them to the church to donate. I found out I was pregnant again on New Year’s Eve. You can get through this.