COVID has put a strain on our finances and marriage is suffering

[Anonymous]

My husband was laid off in May. He is the breadwinner of the family. It cut our income by 60% and we went through our savings pretty quickly. He was hired for a temporary job out of state in October and was gone for 4 weeks. During that time we kept our son in daycare (per our contract) while I worked from home. Living without any unemployment income and on one income for 2 months put a further strain on our finances.

My husband came home two weeks ago and he still hadn’t been paid for his work. We haven’t paid the mortgage yet this month. We are running low on groceries and he doesn’t want me to put anymore expenditures on our credit card. It’s a quite large payday (in excess of $20,000), so we are really hoping the money comes in ASAP.

We have bills coming out and we don’t have enough money in our account to cover them. The payments will either bounce or put our account into overdraft.

My husband keeps telling me to "stop feeling depressed", but Im struggling. I took this week off thinking we would be able to go somewhere as a family for a few days to an Air BNB or something. Instead we are sitting at home, eating leftovers.

I haven’t told any family or friends about our money issues. My husband called his client today to ask them if they have sent the check (he is a contractor) and we haven’t heard anything.

I was hoping we would get a stimulus check but it seems the government doesn’t want to help either.

Im sorry - things are just really hard right now. I’m trying to put a happy face on for our son, who is too young to understand what’s going on.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. Things might get better when that check comes, but I think that the two of you need to reframe your expectations and actions around lifestyle until he has a permanent job again.

[Anonymous]

so your owed 20K ? depending on how you feel about a 401K or IRA withdrawal the CARES act at least allows some flexibility: withdraw up to 100K no 10% under 59 year old penalty. Tax must be paid when you file but can be split into 3 tax years. If you paid the money back into your account ( forget what that time limit is) then there is no tax

[Anonymous]

Snap out of it and do what you need to do.

Why wasn't your husband getting unemployment?

You shouldn't be taking a week off, you should be looking for full time work. So should your husband. Even if it's $15 per hour jobs until something better develops. Your priority is to keep the roof over your heads. Alternate schedules so one of you can be home to watch your child while the other works.

Don't count on that $20K payday. If it's in the contracting world there is a good chance your husband may not see a dime.

If you are low on groceries there are food banks which will provide you with food. Likewise, you can apply for government assistance for food since you have a child.

Does this sound hard? You bet it is. But this is where you have to pull up your bootstraps and do whatever you need to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. Things might get better when that check comes, but I think that the two of you need to reframe your expectations and actions around lifestyle until he has a permanent job again.

This. I am very sorry but it seems like you do need to drastically reduce your expenses.


Will you owe taxes on his payment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband was laid off in May. He is the breadwinner of the family. It cut our income by 60% and we went through our savings pretty quickly. He was hired for a temporary job out of state in October and was gone for 4 weeks. During that time we kept our son in daycare (per our contract) while I worked from home. Living without any unemployment income and on one income for 2 months put a further strain on our finances.

My husband came home two weeks ago and he still hadn’t been paid for his work. We haven’t paid the mortgage yet this month. We are running low on groceries and he doesn’t want me to put anymore expenditures on our credit card. It’s a quite large payday (in excess of $20,000), so we are really hoping the money comes in ASAP.

We have bills coming out and we don’t have enough money in our account to cover them. The payments will either bounce or put our account into overdraft.

My husband keeps telling me to "stop feeling depressed", but Im struggling. I took this week off thinking we would be able to go somewhere as a family for a few days to an Air BNB or something. Instead we are sitting at home, eating leftovers.

I haven’t told any family or friends about our money issues. My husband called his client today to ask them if they have sent the check (he is a contractor) and we haven’t heard anything.

I was hoping we would get a stimulus check but it seems the government doesn’t want to help either.

Im sorry - things are just really hard right now. I’m trying to put a happy face on for our son, who is too young to understand what’s going on.

I stopped feeling sorry for you right here.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to approach your lender and let them know you cannot pay this month and do the same with your other bills. Stop spending, use a food pantry. Your dh needs to look for a part time job while he looks for a full time position. Amazon, Target, grocery are hiring. Talk dot your daycare about pulling out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so your owed 20K ? depending on how you feel about a 401K or IRA withdrawal the CARES act at least allows some flexibility: withdraw up to 100K no 10% under 59 year old penalty. Tax must be paid when you file but can be split into 3 tax years. If you paid the money back into your account ( forget what that time limit is) then there is no tax

+1 Our family took advantage of this withdraw without penalty. If you can, I'd advise you do this to help get through what you need right now.

[Anonymous]

I'm really sorry, OP. My DH is also looking for work and we have had to make drastic cuts to make this all work right now. And it really does put a strain on the marriage. I agree with others that you will also need to dramatically reduce costs/reframe expectations for what is possible right now. Also, I echo the other posters on taking advantage of the hardship withdrawal rules from your retirement plan. It's pretty favorable terms and this relief is intended to help address situations exactly like yours.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. Please consider telling your family that you're in a tight spot - we have been very stressed by Covid but not financially impacted at all, and if I found out that my brother or sister was in danger of missing a mortgage payment due to a circumstance like this I would gladly send them money for Christmas.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your DH is either in denial, or he is feeling anxious and depressed too and needs you to support him rather than him supporting you. Regardless, what is he doing to get a job and earn some money in the meantime?

[Anonymous]

My biggest question is why isn't he collecting unemployment??

Please answer this because this makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

You need to do anything you can to earn cash, quickly. The payments bouncing or your account being overdrawn will spiral for you quickly and dig a deep hole. Contact your lender. Contact the utility companies. Call everyone you owe money to and see what they can do to help you. Or put whatever bills you can on your credit card. It’s not ideal but you can at least float them for another month or so while you get some more ideas together.

Can you drive for Uber or one of the food delivery services? I got approved to drive for Postmates in literally 10 minutes. It’s not much but it will be something.

[Anonymous]

OP we are in a similar boat and had our mortgage deferred. A lot of lenders are doing this for covid. I’m sorry though and hope things get better.