Need tips - 15 mo. will not sit still to read books

[Anonymous]

Let me know if there are long posts on this already. I am desperately in need of tips for getting my 15 mo. old to sit still to read books.

We have a 3.5 yr. old who adores books -- by the time she was 15 mos., we had moved on from board books and she would sit still for 30-45 mins. We would do four pretty substantive books a night at that age, and now she is letting us read very long chapter books. But our younger daughter is unable to sit still for more than 30 seconds -- this is the case in any situation (playing with toys, singing songs, etc.), but what stresses us out the most that we can't read together. She loves pulling books off the shelves and flipping through them (mainly Baby Faces - ugh - and Baby's First Words), but she won't sit with just one, she moves on after 10-15 seconds to the next book. She HATES sitting in our lap and allowing us to read the words; she cries and screams bloody mary until we release her and let her walk around.

I feel like we have tried everything: pre-reading calming techniques (bath, massage, lotion), reading when she is in her best mood during the day (i.e. not at bed time, but when she is happiest), holding her tightly while reading, reading the words over her shoulder as she sits with the books and flips through it, and finally the trick that all the websites recommend: reading aloud and with lots of expression while she wonders around the room, in the hopes that she will take interest in the books and the pictures and eventually come over to listen. But at this point we've been doing the fifth "trick" for six months and have zero indication that she is hearing us or taking any increased interest in the books we are reading. She seems completely oblivious.

We try to be as verbal as possible with her since she is not getting books, but I don't think it can replace the intimacy of reading time and the purposeful vocabulary, rhyming, and pre-literacy devices used in childrens books. I hate that she is missing out on this. Does anyone have tips to help me get her to sit still and learn to love to read? Thanks DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Let it go. You don't want to make reading unpleasant, and you REALLY don't want to make it a power struggle. You're also making unnecessary work for yourself based on trying to fit your kid into a mold they weren't made in.

Personally, if the 3.5-year-old can read, I'd have her read to the toddler. Heck, even if she can't read, have her point out pictures to the toddler. Kids very often imitate their older siblings. Or sit in the living room and read a short book to the 3.5-year-old. Don't worry about the toddler paying attention or not; have fun reading to the kid who enjoys it, and model reading as a pleasurable activity.

[Anonymous]

Each child is different. Love the kid you have and stop comparing them, or trying to change them.

15 months is INCREDIBLY young. You have a long road ahead of you with two kids relatively tightly spaced. Internalize the message above to simplify the next 15 years of your life.

[Anonymous]

I would still read even if the kid is not sitting still.

[Anonymous]

This post cannot be for real. My 14 month old is only barely starting to sit still. He’s more interested in moving around, practicing walking, exploring right now. It would never have occurred to me that this would be a “problem” that needs fixing

[Anonymous]

You’re expecting a 15-month old to sit still for a half and hour or more to listen to a book? I will be generous and accept that your older child did it, but she was unusual.

Your second child isn’t as excited by books as your first nor as placid. Set up bedtime reading as a ritual, and you don’t need to get a barely one year old letter literate. Just do story time with funny voices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would still read even if the kid is not sitting still.

Yes! Why are you trying to wrangle her to sit still? Shes the type of kid that needs movement. She's not even been walking that long. Exploration is learning (you know this). If she was a boy, you'd understand. Read anyway while she's playing and exploring. I feel suffocated just reading your post.

[Anonymous]

Your first was unusual. I say this kindly, you need to stop expecting your second child to be like your first. Set aside your expectations and work with what your child actually enjoys. Forcing the issue will only create a negative association with books, which is the last thing you want.

I get it, my kids were the same way: older kid loved books from the get-go and would happily sit on our laps as a toddler looking at pictures while we read to him. Younger child was much more active and did not like sitting still. What he did like: interactive books where he could lift flaps, feel different textures, find hidden pictures, or had songs we could sing. Those would keep his attention for maybe 3 minutes each . He did start reading later than DC1, but well within the normal range, and as older kids now they are both avid readers with good vocabulary, even if DC2's handwriting and spelling are still a bit .... creative .

[Anonymous]

Ahhh, this is the point where first time parents discover that their children have different intrinsic natures and whatever they thought was the result of amazing parenting in their first was actually.....not.

[Anonymous]

Huh? I used to sit on the floor to read and let my child sit in my lap or wander around if he preferred. I miss those days.

[Anonymous]

She is totally normal and your 1st was unusual. You can still have reading rituals but let her play in the room while you read. I'm a children's librarian and when we do toddler storytimes it is totally expected that the kids will be up and wandering around the room. We keep the actual reading part very short and focus more on songs and rhymes which are an important part of building pre-reading skills.

[Anonymous]

Bath books; reading while eating in the high chair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me know if there are long posts on this already. I am desperately in need of tips for getting my 15 mo. old to sit still to read books.

We have a 3.5 yr. old who adores books -- by the time she was 15 mos., we had moved on from board books and she would sit still for 30-45 mins. We would do four pretty substantive books a night at that age, and now she is letting us read very long chapter books. But our younger daughter is unable to sit still for more than 30 seconds -- this is the case in any situation (playing with toys, singing songs, etc.), but what stresses us out the most that we can't read together. She loves pulling books off the shelves and flipping through them (mainly Baby Faces - ugh - and Baby's First Words), but she won't sit with just one, she moves on after 10-15 seconds to the next book. She HATES sitting in our lap and allowing us to read the words; she cries and screams bloody mary until we release her and let her walk around.

I feel like we have tried everything: pre-reading calming techniques (bath, massage, lotion), reading when she is in her best mood during the day (i.e. not at bed time, but when she is happiest), holding her tightly while reading, reading the words over her shoulder as she sits with the books and flips through it, and finally the trick that all the websites recommend: reading aloud and with lots of expression while she wonders around the room, in the hopes that she will take interest in the books and the pictures and eventually come over to listen. But at this point we've been doing the fifth "trick" for six months and have zero indication that she is hearing us or taking any increased interest in the books we are reading. She seems completely oblivious.

We try to be as verbal as possible with her since she is not getting books, but I don't think it can replace the intimacy of reading time and the purposeful vocabulary, rhyming, and pre-literacy devices used in childrens books. I hate that she is missing out on this. Does anyone have tips to help me get her to sit still and learn to love to read? Thanks DCUM.

My tip: Stop trying to make it happen. Don't force her, make her sit still or think that she'll be the same as the older sibling. Read out loud and let her listen while she does her own thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We try to be as verbal as possible with her since she is not getting books, but I don't think it can replace the intimacy of reading time and the purposeful vocabulary, rhyming, and pre-literacy devices used in childrens books.

Sounds like she doesn't want that kind of intimacy now. Who knows, maybe she never will! Drop your expectations that she be like older sister and meet her where she is. Maybe she'll be the who connects while running on trails with you or doing art with you.

--Book-lover

[Anonymous]

Your child is 15 months old and you’ve been trying your fifth “trick” to get her to sit and listen for 6 months. That means you were already trying to get her to sit and listen at 9 months. Your expectations are not realistic for every child. I have a dd who would lay in her crib, examining her fabric books as though she was reading them, when she was just 6 months old. I have another dd with ADHD who didn’t do that. She was always highly distractable. I just exposed her to lots of language and she paid attention when she was interested. She developed a very rich vocabulary, became a high level reader, and is gifted in verbal reasoning, but she still fidgets, likes to move around, and only listens when she’s interested. She has proven time and time again that you can’t tell whether she’s listening by watching her, because she can appear to be in her own little world when she’s actually hanging on your every word.

I’m not saying your dd has ADHD. What I’m trying to convey is that some kids just aren’t going to sit still and listen politely, but they’re still benefiting from being read to.