Teachers: Times that You Really Connected and Made a Difference. Times you Failed and Rgret!

[Anonymous]

Most posts here are anonymous, so people feel pretty free to let it all out --for the good, for the not so good.
It might be a good place to put some of this out there for comment and for enlightenment --and maybe a little confessional!
As a teacher (and this may include parents as they are the first teachers) though directed here more precisely at classroom teachers.
When and what did you do that make a real difference in some child/young person's life and when did you fail that opportunity?
All teachers make a difference everyday, one way or another --but share that special instance.

[Anonymous]

I will start this one.

A good story tho I have a few not quite so.
I was in a bookstore a few years ago, not paying a lot of attention to the young woman waiting on me. I handed my credit card and was amazed to hear her say, "You saved my life."
She then disclosed who she was and I knew. . .
I was a new school Head and too brash to know that crossing a veteran faculty, all of whom had preceded me at this private school was risky.
Across my desk one day came the list noting who had been accepted and who rejected for admission to the middle school which was part of our school which went on thru upper school to senior year.
Three names on the list caught my attention. They were from our feeder school right across the campus and I thought if our sister institution graduated these three, why would we not accept them --either we were wrong or they were wrong; but it deserved investigation.
I paid that school a visit --the three sixth graders came to the school infirmary, obviously terrified. We talked and I told them that if they checked in with my admin assistant once a month (oftener is they found it necessary) and kept their grades in good standing, they were now accepted. I was covered with tearful hugs and promises.
They all made it. And made college as well. And here I was meeting one of them and hearing a statement I shall never forget.
Addenda: I investigated and for those curious about admissions processes --they are often arcane and unfair --I discovered that each of these little girls, and they were just little girls had had something happen in their families that was deemed unacceptable to the pretentious admissions woman. She was judge and jury of little children suffering enough for what the adults in their lives had already visited upon them.I guess there is no greater satisfaction a teacher can feel than in knowing he/she made a really good decision they might have missed had they not gone that extra mile.
And to meet that "child" again and hear what a difference it made --what an amazing reward!

[Anonymous]

Great story, pp. Thanks for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Would that one saved them all!

Any teacher who has taught for any time at all in an upper school or university, esp. upper school where there is so much vulnerability and so much opportunity,must experience the anguish of remembering and wondering much as families do --what could have been done to stave off decisions of such utter finality.
I think this is why I have such a concern for the content of high school academics when young people of astonishing promise in every imaginable dimension drift off somehow beyond the reach of anyone.

[Anonymous]

Great story, PP. The application process can be traumatic, and part if that is down to the lack of transparency!

[Anonymous]

The teacher has the most amazing opportunities to make differences
in the lives of those he or she encounters (not only those they teach directly).

I had a colleague who was Headmaster of a country day school who once told me he was at the front door every day so that he looked in they eyes of every single boy as he came into the school. I had great admiration for this Headmaster in so many other ways as well.

It invariably follows. If in an educator, you find one pivotal observance that makes a difference, no matter the cost, and you will find all the other important ones in place.
Before I left high school teaching for university, I time and again made the point with faculty that just a small word if it were directed personally to a student could very well resonate a lifetime.

Not speaking here of the asinine unconditional love malarkey that kids see through as a cheap way out of taking real time and real responsibility to single out a youngster for praise tied to something real.

I have often suggested to faculty they loan a book, tell them you thought of them when you read something yourself---take note of something about them personally. . I like the way you met that challenge. . .I noticed how you interceded for so and so. . . I don't know how we would have managed without your skill. . . .It took a lot of courage for you to come and ask me this. . . You have lovely manners, I noted when you. . . . .Do your parents know how inventive you are in diagnosing problems. . . .That was such a kind thing you did. . . . .

[Anonymous]

bump - Id love to hear more...