Visiting Family Next Summer While Pregnant/Covid

[Anonymous]

I'm due in late summer. DH's family does an annual beach trip around the time I'm due, so obviously we would not be able to attend. However, they may be able to move it to early summer. DH would like to go if Covid safe (this year's trip was cancelled), but I can't see how that would be possible. If the trip is moved up to June, the chance of all adults having received 2 shots, a month apart seems unlikely to me, so if the trip is moved up, it seems like there's a higher chance no one is able to go vs. just us in August. Also, in addition to adults, we'd be joined by nieces/nephews ranging from 6-12. Even if all adults are somehow vaccinated, I assume it will be a bad idea for me (high risk and unable to be vaccinated while pregnant) to stay in a house in close proximity to kids who have been at summer camp. Alternatives we've considered are DH and DD going, and me staying home, assuming DH has been vaccinated (of course if DD hasn't been vaccinated and can't quarantine from me when they return, there's still some risk, but since she's in daycare, we already accept some level of risk). The other option would be to get a separate condo/house and only visit with the family outside, but DH doesn't love that idea.

Am I missing something? Being overly cautious? I mean, obviously there's a lot of unknowns about what Covid will look like next summer and who knows if this trip will happen anyway, (especially if we would be required to quarantine DD before sending her back to daycare before/after the trip). But since the family needs to make a decision soon about whether to do the beach week in early v. late summer, anything I'm not considering? Other alternatives?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be planning on any extended family trips right now. I am also due in late summer, and am just planning to be hunkered down and as safe as possible. I might do a grandparent visit if they are vaccinated or quarantined 10 days prior with negative Covid test results. If anything, I might get the separate condo and do outside socially distanced with masks if the family would honor this arrangement. Does your husband understand you are high risk?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks. I think he does understand I'm high risk (he vetoed my sister visiting my parents at the same time we were this summer because I was pregnant - I then had a miscarriage). I think he may not have realized that I wouldn't be able to get a vaccine as soon as they are available though, and I think it will be harder for him to miss his family's vacation next summer when it will have been almost 2 years since we've seen siblings and if we're the only ones who are unable to go (we've seen each set of parents once, and siblings we can drive to visit, but no siblings that involve flying).

This is also part of an ongoing issue where his family expects we visit 5-6 times a year in non-Covid times, whereas my expectations are that we travel to see his family more like 2-3 times per year, since we also travel 1-2 times per year to see my family, and I would like to have some non-family vacation time occasionally. I think because this is a sensitive issue generally for us, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy and my lack of enthusiasm for family beach trips generally wasn't coloring my answer, so thank you for the reassurance that this just isn't a great idea.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I would let them do it in August and not go. Because I think you're right, if it's June, no one will be able to go. Send your husband and DD if it seems like most/all adults have been vaccinated.

[Anonymous]

Bigger problem: vacation with overbearing in-laws, many young children, and not being able to drink wine. I say this is your get out of jail free card.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t want to promise to go at this point. But if they are moving it for you, you will feel like you have to go. It might be fine to go but it also might not - it’s just too hard to plan ahead these days.

Let them go in August, when it is more likely to be safe anyway, and don’t plan on going.

[Anonymous]

Let them do it in August and bow out this year. It's fine. Your health and the pregnancy should be a priority. I agree it will probably be safer for the rest of them to go in August, vaccine schedule wise. I wouldnt mess with that. Tell them you think it will be safer for the rest of them to wait till August and that even in June it might be too complicated for your family to go, and so they should plan on you not going. DH needs to step up and just deal.

[Anonymous]

You don’t go for one year. Easy. Why are you overthinking this? Your priority is your family and baby’s health and safety.