Is this an executive functioning problem or a general cluelessness problem?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I agreed to get takout sushi last night. He said he would handle. He was shocked to find out that by ordering at 6:30 pm on a Saturday night, we didn't eat until 7:45. Um, dude, in our bedroom suburb where we've lived over 20 years, 6:30 to 7 is the busy dinner time. Why would you be shocked? I just don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Cluelessness. Also, probably hunger-induced delusion. I also tend to get rather "surprised" at how long it takes my food to arrive when I am really hungry!

[Anonymous]

This is my husband - he lives "in the moment." It's up to me to have the foresight in the relationship. "Sweetie - can you order the sushi and best to do it by 5:00..." He brings other things to the table, like fun, adventure, creativity and hard work. But he's a total space cadet and almost assuredly ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Have you heard of time blindness? It's a thing - look it up. Supposedly 20% of the population are "time blind."

[Anonymous]

It's called ADHD. My husband has it and when he’s in charge of meals, we eat 30 minutes to an hour after his announced meal time. Even take-out, because of late ordering.

[Anonymous]

Do you really care that he was shocked, or are you just mad you had to eat so late?

[Anonymous]

My dh does this too. He won’t want to wait an hour at a restaurant (pre pandemic) but by the time you drive to a different restaurant and wait there (less time), you may as well stay at your first choice.

[Anonymous]

If this is a big problem you are very lucky. What’s the big deal? Just have another drink and enjoy life.

[Anonymous]

He could probably sense that you were going to blow it all out of proportion based on prior experience, so acted shocked just to keep the conversation moving.

[Anonymous]

Mostly angry I had to eat late. Why can't he get his sh%t together? Just because you're not even starting to get hungry until 6:30 doesn't mean you can wait until then to eat. What 55 year old man thinks takeout is ready in 10-15 minutes at the height of the Saturday evening rush?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my husband - he lives "in the moment." It's up to me to have the foresight in the relationship. "Sweetie - can you order the sushi and best to do it by 5:00..." He brings other things to the table, like fun, adventure, creativity and hard work. But he's a total space cadet and almost assuredly ADHD.

I have ADHD and I’m lucky if I realize things in the moment. Usually it’s after the fact so I live with a lot of regret/remorse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you heard of time blindness? It's a thing - look it up. Supposedly 20% of the population are "time blind."

This explains a lot.

[Anonymous]

To be fair, I’ve never waited that long for takeout, regardless of the time or place. To sit and eat, sure. However, if this is a regular occurrence of the places you frequent, he just isn’t paying attention.