In hospital support person

[Anonymous]

I'm due in March, and my first was a c-section. Not sure about this one, but am starting to worry that my husband won't be able to be in the hospital with me for the few days after the baby is born. We don't have any family in the area, and while we can get childcare for our older child for a bit, I don't love the idea of leaving him with friends or a non family member for a few days/nights that I'll be in the hospital. I'm still hoping that COVID numbers get better and family can come help out, but I'm starting to think about plans B,C,and D.

Do any of the doula services offer an option to stay in the hospital with the new mom for the recovery period? I just remember how out of it I was after my first c, and having someone else there to help with the baby, bring the baby to me for feeding, and listen to the doctors and nurses and remember what they said would be incredibly valuable.

Has anyone done this? Are there any other options that I haven't thought of?

[Anonymous]

I delivered in October. We have 2 other kids but this was my first c section. Husband spent the first night with me in hospital while someone watched my older kids. The other nights, he went home at 4. He did dinner and bath and bedtime and got a full night sleep and then came to the hospital during the day and helped me.

Nurses took great care of me alone (and in fact were more attentive because I was alone, I think). They always answered the call and helped to bring me baby and help me get out of bed to use the bathroom. Any important information from the doctor came during the day and husband was there. I showered during the day so husband could help me get dressed.

Worked out fine for me.

[Anonymous]

The PP is right. Everything changes when an older child is involved. My MIL was able to come to watch our older child, but my husband stayed with me a little during the day and then focused on being there for child #1, who was excited and nervous and somewhat worried about me. The nurses were very kind to me and I actually enjoyed the quiet with the new baby.

My first was an emergency C and my second was scheduled and it was SO much better for me the second time. I was able to get up (with pain) on my own and shower by myself, which I couldn't do the first time.

[Anonymous]

OP here. This is good to know, thanks. I had a brief conversation with my doctor about what we would do if we couldn't get childcare and my husband couldn't be at the hospital, and she was very discouraging of that scenario. This is a good other perspective.

[Anonymous]

Make sure your hospital isn’t “baby friendly” and actually has a nursery you can send him/her to for a few hours while you sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I delivered in October. We have 2 other kids but this was my first c section. Husband spent the first night with me in hospital while someone watched my older kids. The other nights, he went home at 4. He did dinner and bath and bedtime and got a full night sleep and then came to the hospital during the day and helped me.

Nurses took great care of me alone (and in fact were more attentive because I was alone, I think). They always answered the call and helped to bring me baby and help me get out of bed to use the bathroom. Any important information from the doctor came during the day and husband was there. I showered during the day so husband could help me get dressed.

Worked out fine for me.

Just about to post the same thing. DH came back to the hospital daily feeling refreshed and ready to help, was able to keep meal/bedtime/quality time with older kids at home (face timed each other at night for good-night kisses with the kids!), and so forth.

OP - this isn't your first rodeo you should have a better grasp as to what to expect, know how to handle things, and anticipate the protocols.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make sure your hospital isn’t “baby friendly” and actually has a nursery you can send him/her to for a few hours while you sleep.

A lot of the hospitals aren’t allowing use of the nursery due to covid right now.

[Anonymous]

The recovery from a second C is easier. And you will feel more confident about the baby care so you won’t feel like every detail is important.

I am not aware of any Doualas who do what you want. AND most hospitals still have only on support person, and that one person can’t change. So if DH is there for the birth, he is the only option to be the person who helps after birth. Otherwise everyone’s exposure risk goes up.

[Anonymous]

you should note that (now at least) hospitals aren't allowing the partner to come and go. If things are similar in March, once he leaves the hospital, he leaves for good. I'm having my second in 3 weeks, also a C section and am having family come to watch my 18 month old. I was planning on my husband staying the whole time, but maybe will send him home early. Also, hospitals are encouraging you to leave early. Last time I stayed 5 nights (including induction the first night), this time will likely only be 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you should note that (now at least) hospitals aren't allowing the partner to come and go. If things are similar in March, once he leaves the hospital, he leaves for good. I'm having my second in 3 weeks, also a C section and am having family come to watch my 18 month old. I was planning on my husband staying the whole time, but maybe will send him home early. Also, hospitals are encouraging you to leave early. Last time I stayed 5 nights (including induction the first night), this time will likely only be 2.

Wow! Did you have complications?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you should note that (now at least) hospitals aren't allowing the partner to come and go. If things are similar in March, once he leaves the hospital, he leaves for good. I'm having my second in 3 weeks, also a C section and am having family come to watch my 18 month old. I was planning on my husband staying the whole time, but maybe will send him home early. Also, hospitals are encouraging you to leave early. Last time I stayed 5 nights (including induction the first night), this time will likely only be 2.

Wow! Did you have complications?

Not really - one night was when I was being induced and then 3 is normal for a C section. They offered the 4th night and I didn't feel ready to go home so I stayed.