Playdate for 8 year old daughter (Reston/Fairfax Area)

[TAVaughn]

Hi All,

I'm a single dad who is very new to this forum. My 8 year old daughter stays with me (in Reston) on weekends and I have had a difficult time finding someone her age with whom she can interact/play. Any suggestions would be very helpful.

Thanks beforehand.

Todd

[Anonymous]

If she's with you every weekend, are there any activities you can sign her up for where she would make a friend? Ice skating at Reston Town Center, Frying Pan Park, class at the YMCA on Sunset Hills?

If you attend a church, she might connect with someone in the Sunday School. The Unitarian Church in Reston is supposed to be very low-key and welcoming if you're not religious.

[Anonymous]

Great that you are helping your daughter connect while she is with you- as they get into the tween years, this becomes central to who they are - friends. If you can stay connected with her desire to connect with friends it alleviates the tendency of kids at that age to try to phase out visiting the parent who is not living close to friends.

I know this wasn't what your were exactly asking, but I am seeing this challenge right now in our family at 12, and its been a challenge since 10, so good that you are thinking about it.

A few ideas- you may want to try to coordinate an activity for her to get together with friends that she has through school. Even if it is not close to your house, it may be worth it to do a bowling trip or something one time per weekend with her school friends. That way she can blend time with dad and time with friends, and at the same time you get to know her school friends parents if you don't already. It keeps her from developing the view that its see dad or friends, one or the other.

If you want to keep it near your area, I would recommend signing her up for a weekend soccer or softball league. If she can't get to practices during the week coaches will likely be understanding, and that is a nice way for her to get to know some kids on a consistent basis.

[Anonymous]

Todd,
I'm divorced. Where does she go to school? Most children play with their classmates on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

I don't mean which school. I mean how far away. It might make sense to have a friend over for the day or plan an outing -- to the Mall (museums, not shopping), to the movies -- with a classmate.

[Anonymous]

If you live in the same area as her school (or nearby), I suggest that you ask her who from school she would like to have over for a playdate. If she already has a friend or two that come over during the week at her mom's house, then arrange a playdate for her with the friends she already has at your house.

[Anonymous]

Eight YO is too old for a child to have a parent arranging a playdate with a stranger.

Should have her own friends over, or, if she's a sort of solitary kind of child (and there's nothing wrong with that) some sort of organized activity e.g., art classes at the Corcoran with other families, etc might be appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eight YO is too old for a child to have a parent arranging a playdate with a stranger.

Should have her own friends over, or, if she's a sort of solitary kind of child (and there's nothing wrong with that) some sort of organized activity e.g., art classes at the Corcoran with other families, etc might be appropriate.

Maybe its just me, but when my daughter was 8, I never referred to other 8 year olds as strangers...

[Anonymous]

Sign her up for a weekend swim/gymnastics/sports class through Fairfax County Parks & Rec. While you are waiting for her, talk to the other parents and try to arrange playdates that way.

[Anonymous]

I agree she is probably going to want to play with school/neighborhood friends, so maybe let her invite a friend to come over to your place with her. I assume there are kids she plays with when she's with her mom.

As far as signing up for a class or activity on the weekend, I would do this only if she is really interested in the activity and will enjoy doing it even if no new friends or playdates come about as a result. I wouldn't do a class purely in the hopes that she'll connect well enough with another kid to make a new friend to have over for playdates. She'll be seeing these kids for like an hour a week, and it may take a long while to really strike up a friendship with one of them.

Do you know your neighbors? Are there any parents in your neighborhood with kids your daughter's age? Maybe if you develop a friendship with a neighbor who has a daughter of similar age, you could arrange to introduce your daughter.