Time to consider donor eggs but I'm not Caucasian
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Anonymous
| After 6 rounds of IVF it's time to consider DE. I'm South Asian and my husband is Caucasian and we'd like our baby to look vaguely in between. The DE bank that SGF uses has no South Asian donors. I'm very new to this but would love advice on how to find a South Asian egg donor. Or, should I let go of the hope to have a baby who looks a little like us? Are there other qualities that will end up being more important, like if the donor finished high school? Would love to hear from DE moms any advice on how to navigate this. |
Anonymous
| You never know these things - my DH is a brown skinned hispanic, we did DE with Caucasian donor (like me), and the baby came out 100% caucasian... There are services that will transport frozen eggs around the world, if you hit a wall in the US, can you pursue DE in your home region? |
Anonymous
| Look at frozen. Did SG not mention this? The donor pool is much wider not to mention that a cycle with frozen is so much easier. |
Anonymous
|
Go through an egg donor agency. A good one will have lots donors to choose from. I believe there are agencies that specialize in Asian donors.
We live in a highly-educated area, with many, many very smart kids. I’d strongly suggest that you look for a donor in college or with a college degree. Intelligence is more heritable than you might think. |
Anonymous
| I am black and used donor eggs from someone who identified as Hispanic. However, she had the some complexion as me. You may want to look at Hispanic or Middle Eastern donors. |
Anonymous
| it depends on timing. there were a couple of south asian fresh donors in the 3:1 and 2:1 pools when I was shopping the donor database, not so sure about the DE frozen bank. basically, take all filters off when searching to be sure. |
Anonymous
+1. And consider clinics and agencies on the west coast. South Asian friends of mine in California said they had plenty of options. If you look around, I don't think you'd have to compromise between ethnic background and education or other factors. And a friend of mine mentioned the option of going back to India to do IVF. I don't know much about clinics in India, but overseas IVF (Spain, Prague, etc.) in general can be a very good option for egg donor IVF. |
Anonymous
| I'm South Asian and briefly looked into egg donors as well a few years ago. I live in CA and the options are definitely better here. A mentor of mine (also South Asian) placed ads in the local Indian newspapers and ended up finding her young, college-educated donor that way. It is difficult because (I think) fewer South Asian women are willing to donate their eggs, relatively speaking. But I agree with the previous suggestion to look into an agency or try a west coast agency/bank. |
Anonymous
|
DE cycle 1 we chose a donor with my same eye/hair color (brown/brown)—even her family’s traits matched up to mine. (My son is blond/blue.)
(FET of a perfect frozen embryo resulted in a chemical pregnancy.) DE cycle 2 we chose a donor that looked like our son (blond/blue), which resulted in a daughter (brown/brown) who gets called my mini-me all the time. Don’t sweat it too much! Genes definitely have a sense of humor! Agree with the poster that suggested finding a donor of similar coloring/Hispanic. |
Anonymous
| OP here - thank you so much! I will check out west coast clinics and agencies. This next stage seems daunting with a long wait, but I think it will be worth it to find a donor that we are comfortable with. One of my relatives might donate her eggs to us as well, which would be amazing to not only have an Indian donor, but eggs from a similar gene pool. I'm going to post about that in a separate thread since it comes with a whole host of other considerations. |
Anonymous
| I’m Indian too and did IVF in Barbados ; they had lots of Caribbean Indian clients so they may have a large donor pool? Good luck ! |
Anonymous
| USA donor bank had a wide selection when we used them, but they are frozen eggs. |
Anonymous
| Did you look at the frozen egg bank at SG? I am also South Asian with a white husband. There are the occasional South Asian donors that pop up but they get snapped up literally in seconds. We eventually chose a Caucasian donor that looks somewhat like me with regard to facial features and hair and eye color. Baby is a replica of DH. |
Anonymous
The ethics surrounding egg donation and surrogacy in India can leave much to be desired- Indian person. |
Anonymous
Fair enough. I’m only familiar with donor egg in Europe, so this is helpful to raise. Appreciate it. |