Any parents out there who are CHOOSING not to send their kids to private schools? Why ...??

[Anonymous]

So, I've just read a few of these threads revealing the incredible ANGST that people are feeling about getting in or not getting in to preschools, and to be honest, I am at times incredulous, beside myself with laughter, horrified at the society in which we love, and just plain GOBSMACKED by the turmoil that this has created. From the threads on "how do I get my child into a school" to the "please share whether you've received letters from School X" to the "feeder playgroup to the feeder preschool to the feeder elementary school to ... Ivy League" to the "how does public school X handle above-grade children" ... and of course, I must confess to being sucked into the drama pretty much in the same way as I've been sucked into this season's American Idol!! I find myself wanting to ask people to get a grip - your child is a TODDLER for crying out loud! Doesn't anybody feel that their children are just naturally talented solid thoughtful beings who will grow into bright, creative, engaging adults without having to be shoved in that direction? I grew up in a fairly affluent family; I went to a public school (in a developing country, BTW); I did really, really well at school and university without my parents having to force me in the direction of my studies (I guess they inculculated good values, and I felt the desire to do well!!); I worked hard and eventually made partner in a top 10 national US law firm ( I went to law school in a developing country and came to the US to work and study). I quit my partnership position so that I could spend more time with my children, inculcuating those very same values that my parents taught me, and I trust that they will achieve all they want to achieve because of their natural talents. I will, of course, send them to private school at some stage if I think that it would serve them well. But certainly not for elementary school!!! I trust that their are other sane, ordinary, normal parents out there who are also smart and talented!

[Anonymous]

Well hoorah for you!!!

[Anonymous]

It must be nice to be perfect like you and live in an ideal world.

The rest of us are just flawed parents trying to access the best resources we can for our children in an environment where demand dramatically outstrips supply.

[Anonymous]

OP- I completely agree with you. The most important thing is good parenting. I know that my DC will do well in life regardless of where he goes to elementary school, because I'll be there to guide him and teach him good values. Unlike the others, I don't think you were boasting - just speaking good, common sense. Sure, I'd love for my DC to go to a school like Sidwell, but if not, it's not the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

You use the word inculcate too much.

[Anonymous]

PP - your comment is useless.

[Anonymous]

Why is private elementary school bad?

[Anonymous]

You know - I am not going to be mean like some of the PP's nor am I in total agreement. My husband and I debate this issue all the time. call me shallow - but the reason I like private schools - at least some - like Beauvoir - is the asthetic of the nice facility and the feeling that you are somehow somwehere "special"or exclusive. Beyond that - I think a child with involved parents and good genes and a half-way decent school - will do well. We can afford the private school and we are in the District so we go that route. On the other hand - I hate buying into the whole idea that you have to put your children in to these places n order to guarantee their success. I feel sorry for people who lose sleep over this - or make financial sacrafices for this. It really is sad......

[Anonymous]

I've sent my child to public school for 9 years in the District because I didn't want her to be afraid of people from different class, racial, and ethnic backgrounds. It has required that we be extra vigilant about her schooling and do some extra schooling at home. Along the way she has had some fantastic teachers. (Ms. Bax's Algebra I class at Hardy Middle School is probably tougher than what you would find at most private schools.) She has also had the occasional spectacular disaster and more so-so teachers than I would like. And I get tired of always having to monitor what's happening in her classes. But she's not afraid to be the only white kid in the room (like I was growing up) and that means a lot to me and my husband.

As it happens, she now wants to attend private school in high school and we are looking into it. (which is why I'm on this site looking for more information) It may be the best thing for her at this point but I'm not sure yet. You really have to look at your kid and figure out what is best for them. But, as you noted, the reality is that family background and education are correlated with achievement in school. If you bring those advantages with you, it won't make or break you if you don't get into a dream school. At any rate, even if she ends up at private school, I'm glad she will have had the years in public school to keep her grounded.

[Anonymous]

Having attended DCPS for part of my elementary education and knowing the spiral from then to now, there is no way I would send my kids there.

Just my experience and recollections, as well as current headlines. Now, I applaud the Mayor and hope Ms. Rhee is wildly successful in making DCPS a model for the country (or at least competent to give kids a fighting chance at jobs/college/education), but I will choose not to subject my kids to the experiment.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the OP to some extent. We decided not to join the craziness and sent our kids to a good DC public school. However, the bottom line for us is the education our kids get. And it was very good for most of the time. But when things started to detiorate in 5th grade, that is when we got out. And it's also when (in my opinion) the private school resources, like smaller classes, labs, arts, languages, music, become more important. So we went private for middle school. But boy, people in this town (especially the parents of the pre-K to K set) really do lose their minds about this. I think it's this perception that access to the "right" schools will get you access to the "right" colleges, and a good life. Plus the perception of scarcity breeds an atmosphere of desperation. And I also think that a lot of people on this board didn't grow up here and so their views are influenced by stuff they hear and read on boards like this. Which is not to discount the fact that there is some helpful information to be gleaned, if you take it with a grain of salt.

[Anonymous]

21:17, lighten up. I thought it was kind of funny.

To the OP, I'm confused. The title of this thread seems to imply that you are flabbergasted that someone would not send their children to private school, and yet your last sentence seems to indicate that you plan to send your kids to public shool. Maybe I'm just confused.

Anyway, to address the title of the thread. I expect that some people are choosing not to send their kids to private school, because they can't afford it. Just a guess.

And if you're just a troll, oh well, you got me.

[Anonymous]

It's easy to feel scornful until you've struggled with the issues and feelings that parents with older children have faced.

It's easy to say blithely, "I will, of course, send them to private school at some stage if I think that it would serve them well," as if the choice were only up to you, before you've had to deal with the extreme odds facing applicants to these schools, before you've heard from your friends with older kids that the public schools are not what they used to be and that their kids are bored or don't want to go to school.

OP, a couple of years ago I was you, and odds are, in a couple of years, you will be me. Enjoy this fleeting opportunity to feel that all is right with you and your choices.

[Anonymous]

I agree with pp. Many of us were certain that we would never invest so much emotion and become so desperate over where our DC goes to school. One starts out exploring the options and merely considering whether one or a few schools might be better than current, public options. But then something happens ... you fall in love with a particular school, you become aware of how difficult it really is to get into these schools, you realize that although private is not essential to happiness and success for your child it is still quite a pleasant experience, and so forth. Pretty soon, it's like buying something on EBAY -- one no longer cares whether you get a good price, damn-it, you want to win the auction!!! Or maybe that's just me!! Anyway, once you get sucked in, it is very hard to remain rationale. But once this silly season is over, I suspect most parents calm down and get back to being sane, good parents that really care for their children and support them as needed no matter which school their DC attends. So no need to call names and hold forth on how superior you are, OP!

[Anonymous]

Yes, I agree with PP--you get sucked in, somehow. Last year we applied to several private schools for our daughter, who was graduating from 6th grade at a DC public school, just to see what her "options" would be. Then when she actually got accepted, we found it too hard to say no. Now we are scrambling to pay tuition, and worried all the time about whether we made the right decision--not an easy thing.