Just need to vent

[Anonymous]

After almost 4 years of trying; two operations for my wife to correct a problem in he uterus; 3 IUIs; 2 IVFs; one miscarriage (which in addition to the emotional toll took stopped us from trying for 4 months); this round of IVF has turned into an IUI (only two follicles); and now the doctor sees something else in my wife's uterus that he'll "want to take a look at" of this cycle does not work.

We were both under 40 when we started and now have passed that mark. My wife seems somewhat reluctant to more on to donor eggs; which I get from an emotional point, but the practical side of me says why put off going that route for another 6 plus months, when it seems that is what we will end up having to do. I know she feels guilty because the issues have been on her side the equation and I don't know what to do to help her with that realize. It is not her fault. It is not like she could have prevented her eggs from getting older or done something to change her uterus when it was being developed. O.K., I guess she could have frozen eggs when she was 20 but who has the foresight to do that?

UGH. It is like this will never end positively.

We want to keep on trying AND give up at the same time.

[Anonymous]

I feel for you both, IF is hard on everyone and even though DE offers a better chance of success, it's not the route most woman are comfortable with right away. I had to grieve for the loss of my own genetic child and then move on to DE, looking back I wish I had gone that route sooner but I wasn't ready to give up on my own eggs. Now, I'm a happy Mom to two healthy children that everyone thinks look like me...go figure!