Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

post reply Forum Index » Eldercare

1 2 ► Go

Go to page...

11/02/2020 18:05

Subject: Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

My mom is in the 70s, lives with us. Every morning, she has these long conversations about the dreams she had during the night, usually includes with her parents and one of her brothers who has passed away. Her brother passed away 10 years ago and her parents 15-20 years ago. she goes into great details about the dreams, what she said to them, what they said to her, She also says that she's happy in her dreams because that's when she's gets to hang out with her parents, brother and a couple of relatives that have passed away. She has a large extended family that she's in contact who and has connections with. I'm sympathetic but must admit, hearing about these dreams on a daily basis is quite depressing. I told her that perhaps we could do something in their memory so that we are celebrating their life and not focusing on their death all the time. She doesn't feel like there's anything to celebrate and goes on about how much she misses them and would like to just spend a few hours with them. Is this common?

report

11/02/2020 18:14

Subject: Re:Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

They are visiting her in the dreams and yes it's very common. It makes her feel good and hurts no one. Let her have her memories. It won't kill you to listen.

report

11/02/2020 18:17

Subject: Re:Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

I dream of my dad in times of great stress. My mom and siblings do not. For me it is a continuation of his involvement in my life and it makes me happy.

report

11/02/2020 18:21

Subject: Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

Does she take melatonin?

report

11/02/2020 18:27

Subject: Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

I don’t understand why this upsets you, OP. Did you maybe not know these people so it seems like she isn’t connecting to real life? My dad died this spring, and I know I will always miss him, and I think I will welcome visiting with him in my dreams. Maybe you could ask her to tell you stories about these people while she is awake, and then she could visit them with you, in a way? Channel Dumbledore, who said to Harry Potter “You think the dead we loved ever leave us, Harry?”

They never do, thankfully.

report

11/02/2020 19:26

Subject: Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

It's not depressing OP. It makes her happy to have these dreams.

One of my favorite dreams was shortly after ds was born and there had been some complications at his birth. I had an insanely vivid dream of my grandmother visiting me (I was very close to her growing up) and us going for a drive together and just talking. I woke up knowing everything would be ok.

report

11/02/2020 21:47

Subject: Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

Is this a recent phenomenon, or something she has done for a long time?

report

11/03/2020 16:11

Subject: Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:Does she take melatonin?

I'm curious about this. DC takes melatonin before bed and often complains of "bad dreams". I always attributed it to anxiety, not the melatonin.

report

11/03/2020 20:43

Subject: Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

It’s stuff that’s running through her mind. Maybe she needs more of a community. As long as she knows they’re just dreams, she seems fine, but at her age you’re wise to keep an eye on her.

report

11/03/2020 21:10

Subject: Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

Melatonin gives me deep memorable dreamscape

report

11/03/2020 21:25

Subject: Re:Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

The longer you live, the more people important to you will have passed away. I remember my grandma at the age of 89-90 stumping around the house at night (I used to get shipped to her farm to help out in the summer)--she spent hours getting ready for bed, rebraiding her hair (she never cut it), untying the corset (yep)--and going through a long litany of all the people who had died in her life.

I've dreamed about my dad (died suddenly in 1993), my DH (passed away in 2003) but not my mom (2014) or my sister (2015), although Mom and my sister are the ones I most often want to pass on news to or ask questions of.

report

11/05/2020 19:32

Subject: Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:Is this a recent phenomenon, or something she has done for a long time?

I was wondering the same thing. Not to scare you, but my grandmother passed away about six months after she starting having those types of dreams. She told my mom that she had dreamed about her sister who had died the previous year and that she knew she was going to be next. None of us believed her, but sure enough, she was right. This thread just gave me the chills.

report

11/05/2020 19:45

Subject: Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

I have vivid dreams almost every night. Some of those dreams include friends and family who have died. Every once in a while, I'll have a dream where I'm talking to a loved one and I can feel them, smell different aromas of whatever place we're in and hear their voices. These dreams are unbelievably comforting to me, because I feel that I spent time with my parents who died over ten years ago.

Perhaps your mother is also a vivid dreamer and, maybe, lonely or depressed. If the dreams comfort her and it's comforting to her to share them, please listen to her. She may "visit" you in your dreams one day.

report

11/05/2020 21:01

Subject: Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a recent phenomenon, or something she has done for a long time?

I was wondering the same thing. Not to scare you, but my grandmother passed away about six months after she starting having those types of dreams. She told my mom that she had dreamed about her sister who had died the previous year and that she knew she was going to be next. None of us believed her, but sure enough, she was right. This thread just gave me the chills.

This is why I asked about whether she recently started having these dreams.

My mom believed that the people who have passed on start "visiting" you when your time is drawing near, to reassure you. Like they are preparing the way for your arrival.

Sorry, but this is something she (born in 1920) also believed.

report

11/06/2020 10:31

Subject: Mother constantly talking about dreams that involved people who have died

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]Is this a recent phenomenon, or something she has done for a long time?[/b]

I was wondering the same thing. Not to scare you, but my grandmother passed away about six months after she starting having those types of dreams. She told my mom that she had dreamed about her sister who had died the previous year and that she knew she was going to be next. None of us believed her, but sure enough, she was right. This thread just gave me the chills.

It started about a year ago where she would mention it here and there. Now, it's the subject on numerous discussions throughout the day, almost like an obsessions. She is getting more frail but is in relatively good health otherwise so I don't think she's dying.