would you let...

[Anonymous]

a 14 year old girl go to the gym at the Y on her own on a weekend evening?

My BF lets his daughter go-- he drops her off and picks her up when she calls. Technically this is a no-no: big sign in the weight room says that kids 16 and over can use the weight room etc when a parent is present, so seems like letting a 14 year old use the gym is verboten to start with (though it's hard to see the major harm if a parent is in fact present and the kid uses the machines appropriately, etc) . But though I don't see a big problem in letting her go with him to the gym, the fact that he leaves her there on her own, at 8 pm on weekends, while he leaves the premises completely, worries me. When I told him so he looked at me like I was nuts. Am I nuts? Honestly don't know. What do you all think? On the one hand it's a safe suburban Y. On the other hand....

[Anonymous]

I think you are correct.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't allow it especially since it is against the Y's rules. If they didn't have the rule, I would at least want a known adult somehwere in their presence. A lot of 14 year olds are mature and have a good head on their shoulder, but there is still a risk that they may "get into trouble" or even get hurt, at which point, you may be liable for breaking the rules.

[Anonymous]

No way!

[Anonymous]

I would allow it.

[Anonymous]

Does BF's daughter's mother know this is going on? Sometimes dads have very different ideas about this!

[Anonymous]

I would not allow it, especially at the Y. At least if it were a private club there is some monitoring of who comes and goes, the Y is just too shady for me to be leaving a kid alone at night.

[Anonymous]

If she's a sensible kid, I would allow it. He's dropping her off and picking her up, and she has an established routine in a familiar place.

[Anonymous]

I think he should stay and work out, too.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter if she's a sensible kid. I'm not worried about her! I'm concerned about what could happen to her. Who goes to the Y or to any health club on a Saturday night? Loners? Losers?

[Anonymous]

P.S. I would not let my son go to the Y alone. Or to a private health club.

[Anonymous]

No, I would not allow my 14 year old girl or boy work out alone in a public gym.

[Anonymous]

If it were 14 y.o. me, I'd wave goodbye to my dad, and then change into my hanging out gear and leave to go hang out and do bad teenager things.

Now I think this to some degree depends on the kid and perhaps it's fine for some, but if there's a rule in place at the establishment, that's another story in my book.

[Anonymous]

At my YMCA I would, but only because they have teen drop in. The place is well run and brand new. They cater to teens in many activities.

If there were no teen programs, I would not.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid. Some 14 year olds are mature enough to take care of themselves, some are irresponsible. It is up to the parents to evaluate the child and the situation.

If you are worried about his daughter, maybe you should articulate your worries in a more concrete fashion. What exactly are you worried is going to happen, anyhow? And would said 14 year old be in any worse danger at the YMCA than at the mall, movie theater, friend's home, school, the park?

The notice in the weight room is probably specific to lifting weights, as it is not recommended for most kids under 16, regardless of facility (can stunt the growth of developing bones if overdone).

I hope that by the time my daughter is 14 she can go some places without me at 8 PM on a Saturday evening.