If your parents have a helper, what does that person do?

[Anonymous]

I’ve hired a helper for my parents, but my mom is worried about what the person will do. Any ideas besides laundry, cooking, cleaning, organizing closets, and pet care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve hired a helper for my parents, but my mom is worried about what the person will do. Any ideas besides laundry, cooking, cleaning, organizing closets, and pet care?

My MIL has a helper who does all what you wrote in addition to taking her to doctor's appointments, hair etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve hired a helper for my parents, but my mom is worried about what the person will do. Any ideas besides laundry, cooking, cleaning, organizing closets, and pet care?

My MIL has a helper who does all what you wrote in addition to taking her to doctor's appointments, hair etc.

Thank you. Forgot about that. I feel like the days can easily be filled.

[Anonymous]

She chats with them, which is really what they need. She is there just in case when they do high risk things like bathing. She goes with them to stores, haircuts, etc. Or shops for them if they are not up to it. She makes a few special recipes that they like. They like her because she is a sweetheart and from the same Eastern European culture as them and cooks that stuff.

She is my eyes and ears and knows that she can tell me anything and I will not get her in trouble with them. She gets a big fat tip from me.

[Anonymous]

Drives them places, grocery store, to get wine (haha), to go out to eat, whatever.

She also bathes my mom because she is afraid of falling.

[Anonymous]

She reads small print and handles any task requiring good vision. My mom has arthritis with good days and bad so she takes care of fine motor tasks as needed. The social interaction is a huge part of it. Someone to take an interest in what they talk about and give them a break from each other socially. My mom feels more comfortable going out or taking a nap if my dad has someone keeping an eye on him.

[Anonymous]

My mother's person cooked and served her. Made sure she took her medications at the right times. Changed her bed linens. Eventually, she assisted her with toileting, bathing and dressing. I guess she also cleaned, but I am not sure.

We provided a bedroom for the person. She purchased her own food but kept it in my mom's kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Nothing to do with finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing to do with finances.

This.

If possible, see if your parents will agree to keep their checkbook and other important paperwork at your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing to do with finances.

This.

If possible, see if your parents will agree to keep their checkbook and other important paperwork at your house.

x 100!!

My MIL's helper reads the paper to her (even with my MIL would rather not be bothered) and then engages her in conversation about what she's heard. It was beautiful to watch the first time I saw it and now I try to do the same with her myself when I visit.

[Anonymous]

They do the crossword and watch Jeopardy. Anything for social interaction and mental stimulation.

Do consider whether a helper will cause your parents to be more sedentary. Sometimes chores and cooking is the only exercise people get.

[Anonymous]

Light house keeping and preparing food. The best is that she’s a paid friend. They share tv shows and talk about their families in great detail.

[Anonymous]

They talk to them, take walks, listen to music, watch old movies - and clean, cook, lately even cleaned them up and got them dressed a few times. Will also read to them, get their mail, do their laundry, pick up things that fall, laugh at jokes, listen to stories and nag when needed. Oh, and she keeps on top of his medicines, doctors’ appointments and sends the adult kids (all out of town) texts and pictures.

[Anonymous]

PPs, where/how did you find your helpers? Sounds like you have really good ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drives them places, grocery store, to get wine (haha), to go out to eat, whatever.

She also bathes my mom because she is afraid of falling.

Yep. She's basically like a paid best friend. They mostly talk about their grandchildren and children. She's really immersed in her helper's family (they're distantly related, 3rd cousins).