What is my father to my mother-in-law?

[Anonymous]

He will be singing at her funeral, and I'm not sure how to list the relation on the program.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'm wondering if there's an actual name for the relationship. Couldn't find anything on Google!

[Anonymous]

There is no defined relationship.

He could be "friend of the family"
or maybe "Relative by marriage"

Or "John's father in law" (John being your MIL's son/your husband)

[Anonymous]

You’re stretching. Just put his name - they aren’t related at all.

[Anonymous]

He is nothing to her formally in terms of a name of relation - they aren't related. I agree with the PP to put "friend of the family" or "John's father in law".

[Anonymous]

Thank you! Not trying to make it something that it isn't - just wasn't sure of the formal/proper way to say it. I was leaning toward friend of the family like we're doing with other friends. Thanks all!

[Anonymous]

"Machatunim: The word even contains that satisfying, throat-clearing chhh—machhhh-ah-tun-um.

But there’s another, more pragmatic reason they use this word: It’s super convenient. The word means “the parents of my child’s spouse."

https://slate.com/human-interest/2015/12/machatunim-co-in-laws-english-needs-a-word-for-the-relationship-between-parents-and-in-laws.html

[Anonymous]

^^^ (Yiddish isn’t the only language with a word for this. Spanish has consuegros, for example, which likely developed for different reasons.)

[Anonymous]

All Indian languages have a word for this! I think it stems from the idea of a marriage as a relationship between families, not just the two people being wed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All Indian languages have a word for this! I think it stems from the idea of a marriage as a relationship between families, not just the two people being wed.

Samdhan, samdhi is the word in hindi

[Anonymous]

I like "John's Father in Law." Or "Father of _____, ____'s daughter in law."

[Anonymous]

It's interesting to learn the words in other languages, but unless the funeral guests know it, I would suggest putting something like the PPs mentioned. If the deceased is Mary and her son is Josh and the singer is Michael, I'd say something like

"Michael Jones, father-in-law of Mary's son Josh."

OP, I'm sorry for your loss, and glad that your parents and your spouse's parents were close enough that he's singing at the funeral.

[Anonymous]

In other languages and cultures there are words for this relationship. It seems that in Hindi/Urdu, Yiddish and Spanish there are such words. Wonder if there are other cultures and languages that has a name for this relationship

-Yiddish machatunim; e parents of the people your children marry are your machatonim (the male is your mechuten, and the female your machatonister).

- Spanish it is consuegros and means "co-in-laws.

- Hindi - Sumdhi (male) and Sumdhan (female).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All Indian languages have a word for this! I think it stems from the idea of a marriage as a relationship between families, not just the two people being wed.

+1

It is the coming together of two families and any progeny from the marriage is blood to both families. You have to recognize that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All Indian languages have a word for this! I think it stems from the idea of a marriage as a relationship between families, not just the two people being wed.

+1

It is the coming together of two families and any progeny from the marriage is blood to both families. You have to recognize that.

I love this. And I just asked my mother this question in the wording the OP used and she said "polite."