Reconciliation after one spouse moved out

[Anonymous]

Anyone's marriage survive after on spouse moved out?

[Anonymous]

Depends why they moved out.

Did someone cheat/have an affair?

[Anonymous]

I’ve seen this happen twice in my family when people move and out, get apartments for a few months, then get back together. Both have been together now for a very long time and seem happy. But I don’t know the initial reason why the separation occurred in either case

[Anonymous]

I’ve known exactly one couple who separated and got back together. No infidelity, the issue was financial (one was a compulsive spender and would hide the spending from the spouse). They have been back together for probably 15 years and seem very happy. I think the offending spouse got help. I know if no one who recovered from an affair, once the one spouse moved out.

[Anonymous]

Yes - they were living separately for almost a year. DH cheated. DW decided that she still loved him and loved her family and the realty was that she had stopped paying attention to him and was part of the problem. After almost a year she realized she either needed to deal with her own 'shit" or someone else's and it was not worth it. That was ten years ago and they seem happy now. They are in their 50s and this happened in eitehr late 30s to early 40s.

[Anonymous]

Yes, one of us moved out and we were separated for 5 months before moving back in. It was a rocky time with lots of fighting before that, which led to the separation. Had many deep talks after that and both putting in work to not get back to the low/fighting point.

[Anonymous]

Yes, DH was having an affair with an coworker and I couldn't let him live in the house. He moved to an apartment 2 miles away. We did individual and couples therapy, and ultimately reconciled - were in therapy for 2 years and had to build an entire new foundation of trust. This was 12 years ago and the marriage has been good since. It is not an easy road, but neither is divorce.

I'm of the mindset that a lot of marriages need to end after affairs, but I do think clearly some can be reconciled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, DH was having an affair with an coworker and I couldn't let him live in the house. He moved to an apartment 2 miles away. We did individual and couples therapy, and ultimately reconciled - were in therapy for 2 years and had to build an entire new foundation of trust. This was 12 years ago and the marriage has been good since. It is not an easy road, but neither is divorce.

I'm of the mindset that a lot of marriages need to end after affairs, but I do think clearly some can be reconciled.

You say you were in therapy for 2 years. Is that how long you lived apart?

[Anonymous]

Yes, but it happened again 3 years later and they left for good. In retrospect it would have been better if they'd never come back because the second split was so much harder and messier than the first.