Afraid of Getting a New Nanny

[Anonymous]

I'm struggling so much in this pandemic. My husband and I have 3 small kids. Two are doing distance learning while the youngest is a toddler. We also both work from home. Our schedules are very meeting heavy and the current pace of trying to help kids with learning while switching off for meetings and taking care of the toddler is beyond draining and its taking a mental and emotional toll on both me and my husband. We had a nanny that had gotten and recovered from COVID earlier in the year so we felt that her "immunity" (who knows how long that lasts per the current science) was at least a barrier. But, she quit due to her own family concerns and issues. So, now we have to decide whether to bring in someone new. My husband has a serious preexisting condition and one of my kids has an inherited condition where its not yet known how his body will react to an infection like COVID. Choosing sanity in the form of getting more help comes with the absolute fear that we're exposing ourselves to someone that we are trusting to do the right thing in their own lives with quarantining. The other option is to continue doing this on our own. But, I think the high tensions of our days is taking an awful toll on us stress-wise and relationship-wise.

Has anyone else bitten the bullet and hired help trusting them to do the right thing and quarantine when not around your family? Is there a certain type of person that you hire (someone who lives alone/has no kids of their own/etc) to reduce the risk of exposure?

[Anonymous]

Pretty much everyone I know with two working parents has hired help. I only know one family who hasn’t, and they parents were able to stagger work hours.

[Anonymous]

My colleague has a toddler and 2 elementary age kids. She has been really anxious about the virus. But what was even more stressful was trying to figure out how to work. Hiring someone to come in and help with the kids has been a game changer. Her stress level dropped immediately.

Whatever the case, there is always a leap of faith when you are bring someone to care for your family. Trust that you will be able to ask good questions, check references and rely on your gut.

[Anonymous]

OP Here - Thank you both! I really appreciate your insight and thoughtful responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here - Thank you both! I really appreciate your insight and thoughtful responses.

As you know with kids, there are no guarantees. We are all just doing the best we can.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely hire someone. Just ask a lot of covid-isolation level questions, and see what responses you get.

What you're looking for is not only someone who answers all those questions "correctly" but who has similar questions for you guys - ie, if they're just as nervous about their exposure to you, then that's a very good sign. I'm sure you can find someone like that if it's your top priority.

[Anonymous]

Agree with above. How cautious are they when setting up an in—person interview if pass screening interview. What are they doing in protecting themselves. Etc

[Anonymous]

Can you have someone live in? A friend put her two kids in one room to free up a room. That way the person isn’t returning to spouse/roommates which further increases exposure (and roommates are common where there is a high COL).

[Anonymous]

Nanny here- Just keep in mind that if you want a nanny who. Lives alone, you need to be paying a wage that allows her to live alone. You need to be realistic and if you’re paying $18-20/hr before taxes, then she’s not going to be living alone. I am paid $30/hr and live alone. Also, there are ALOT of nannies who take this seriously and have been quitting jobs because the families won’t social distance. I’d suggest someone over 30. Older nannies are more settled. Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- Just keep in mind that if you want a nanny who. Lives alone, you need to be paying a wage that allows her to live alone. You need to be realistic and if you’re paying $18-20/hr before taxes, then she’s not going to be living alone. I am paid $30/hr and live alone. Also, there are ALOT of nannies who take this seriously and have been quitting jobs because the families won’t social distance. I’d suggest someone over 30. Older nannies are more settled. Good luck!!

This is a really good point

[Anonymous]

Hire an older nanny who lives alone and walks or drives to your house. Our amazing and wonderful nanny is older and definitely takes super precautions because she doesn’t want to get covid and she’s extremely protective of both our toddler and me (pregnant). She has no problem telling people to please step back and/or pull up their masks.

But we have to be equally cautious as well. She only sees us and we only see her. In fact, we all just made plans to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hire an older nanny who lives alone and walks or drives to your house. Our amazing and wonderful nanny is older and definitely takes super precautions because she doesn’t want to get covid and she’s extremely protective of both our toddler and me (pregnant). She has no problem telling people to please step back and/or pull up their masks.

But we have to be equally cautious as well. She only sees us and we only see her. In fact, we all just made plans to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas together.

Me, again. I should add that our nanny makes $27 an hour for one child.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks everyone - this has been really good information and has definitely changed the way we're approaching this just to make sure we're feeling more comfortable with the situation.