Did something major just happen?

[Anonymous]

This is my first child, so maybe I'm just a newbie. But since my girl turned 5 (7 weeks ago), she went from being a happy-go-lucky baby-to-toddler-to-preschooler to a sullen, attitude-y 5 year old. Is it all over? There have been no major changes in our lives. Husband and I are happily married, everything stable at home, she's in a good school situation, lots of friends, gets 10-11 hours of sleep a night, she had a check-up recently and so is in good health, etc. etc. She's not giddy and silly like she used to be; she's just cranky and bossy.

Is it all over? Did the good years fly by already?

Wisdom from more experienced parents appreciated.

[Anonymous]

A 5 yo struggles with seeing things from someone else's point of view and can get stubborn when expected to. I think a cranky and bossy 5 year old girl needs to be taught more character lessons about kindness and empathy, and given more responsibilities/chores. I think these 2 things help a child see that she is part of a family/community rather than the queen bee.

BTW, something major did just happen - two blizzards. We're all out of sorts a bit.

[Anonymous]

Yes, something happened. You are out of the woods. The toddler/preschool years are behind you. You are done with diapers. You are done with disaster area meals. You are largely done with tantrums. You are done with naps. You can eat in a real restaurant and not only at Red Robin or Generous Georges. You have a fully functional kid who adores you. THIS is the good part. Suck it up. Once they get to the tween years and then teen years I hear it gets much harder again. Mine is in early elementary school and seriously I am loving every single minute.

[Anonymous]

22:17 here, one more thing - I remember now that my husband and I had a few occassions when we were just shocked by the backtalk from our 5 year old. After complaining to my husband about it, he was there one day when it happened. Sitting in time out seemed old hat since her 2 year old sister does that, so my husband, who is usually Mr. Softy, blurted out "Go stand in the corner. 5 minutes." We were all surprised and boy, did it work. Standing there, silent, facing the corner, was particularly embarrassing for my DD, I think. She stopped the backtalk.

I'm still a big believer in teaching empathy and giving kids responsibilities but standing in the corner has it's place.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the phase years. Your child will go through many phases, some difficult, some delightful. Some will seem to last forever, but all will pass.... Have fun till 20!

[Anonymous]

OP again. Thanks for the comments. Ultimately, I guess we all get our 'hard times.' She was the easiest baby and toddler, so I am probably just getting my come-uppance now. We never had disaster meals, she potty-trained at 2, and we have always been able to eat in restaurants. She was always a please and thank you kind of kid. Perhaps she's just testing new boundaries.

Here's a question for some of you - when your child is tired at the end of the day and gets fresh, do you hold them to the same standards as earlier in the day? That is, if it's 7:30pm and your kindergartener is whining and unpleasant, do YOU just suck it up? Or do you remind them that that is not a nice way to act? If the latter, how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's a question for some of you - when your child is tired at the end of the day and gets fresh, do you hold them to the same standards as earlier in the day? That is, if it's 7:30pm and your kindergartener is whining and unpleasant, do YOU just suck it up? Or do you remind them that that is not a nice way to act? If the latter, how?

Sure, we cut some slack at bedtime and try to usher our kids to bed with as little drama as possible. Rule of thumb: fewer words from parents the better tired children comprehend and respond. Keep it simple. Model the behavior you want to see. Ultimately this teaches the kids to limit their words and their drama. But every parent has their own line in the sand that should not be crossed and their kids know it. It's impossible to define but you know it when it's been crossed. It's okay to maintain a high bar for expectations because even if kids don't reach it, they've probably reached higher than they would have at their own volition.

[Anonymous]

To OP - Yes, this is normal. 5 y.o. especially girls are full of drama over every little thing. If it's any consolation 8 and 9 are great. At that age, mine was such a joy. It was like a gift just before the hormones started. There is an old book series that are is a bit dated, but I still found helpful and comforting each time a kid would enter into a new unknown phase. There was one for each year and they outlined all the age appropriate phases.

[Anonymous]

This is preparation for 12. You ain't see nothing yet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is preparation for 12. You ain't see nothing yet!

I concur. And 12 at several days snowed is particularly painful.

No wonder Alec Baldwin was taking an Ambien and going to bed!!!

But there's a bright side. They do become even more interesting people as they grow. But the drama. ARGH!