I am so sick of being blamed for my DC’s SN

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else have this problem?

In laws think I am making it up or exaggerating the effect on school. It has been very difficult to find a school that is willing to work with him because he is 2e, so he is homeschooled with a mix of online and homeschool curriculum. Parents think it’s my fault or that I am exaggerating that schools won’t work with him, but he has been rejected from a dozen privates, including ones recommended by educational consultants, with a great academic and behavioral record because of his SN. The homeschool is working but it’s very isolating. He is on a sports team but that is the only social outlet he gets. In the past, teachers have said I am in denial when I share his diagnosis. Other parents of kids with SN have not liked us because he is not SN enough. I’ve had parents tell me that his SN doesn’t count because he is 2e so not really SN. Parents with non SN kids have told me that they think he has a behavior problem not an SN (he has motor and minor vocal tics). They think he tics because I haven’t taught him self control.

He’s in 7th grade and his only friends are virtual through the online curriculum we use or on his sports team or summer activities.

[Anonymous]

There are schools that will take him but most are probably no tones you prefer. If homeschooling works and he's doing well, what's the issue.

We are only seeing friends virtually.

[Anonymous]

Your DC sounds like mine. We did find a good charter school that really helped. (Not in DC area)
But yes, if it’s not a physical or in fashion SN, there’s a lot of people that assume it’s bad parenting or made up or exaggerated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else have this problem?

In laws think I am making it up or exaggerating the effect on school. It has been very difficult to find a school that is willing to work with him because he is 2e, so he is homeschooled with a mix of online and homeschool curriculum. Parents think it’s my fault or that I am exaggerating that schools won’t work with him, but he has been rejected from a dozen privates, including ones recommended by educational consultants, with a great academic and behavioral record because of his SN. The homeschool is working but it’s very isolating. He is on a sports team but that is the only social outlet he gets. In the past, teachers have said I am in denial when I share his diagnosis. Other parents of kids with SN have not liked us because he is not SN enough. I’ve had parents tell me that his SN doesn’t count because he is 2e so not really SN. Parents with non SN kids have told me that they think he has a behavior problem not an SN (he has motor and minor vocal tics). They think he tics because I haven’t taught him self control.

He’s in 7th grade and his only friends are virtual through the online curriculum we use or on his sports team or summer activities.

I have never heard of anyone being rejected from a dozen privates. You mean you applied and he didn't get in, right? Anyhow, my own parents don't believe my DD is autistic (aspergers/ADHD/anxiety disorder) although it it immediately apparent. They are just of a different era and can't see it. You have to do what you think is right for your child and ignore your parents Go back to the consultant or get a new SN consultant and see what they advise. What are the 2es? (mine are 2e too).

[Anonymous]

Why not go to public school?

[Anonymous]

OP here: no, he got rejected, as in letters saying we cannot work with this type of student.

He has high IQ/verbal and quantitative reasoning and Tourette’s syndrome. I am worried about public because one of his tics is an eye movement. Teachers think he’s cheating. He’s not. It comes and goes.

I am doing homeschool/online school at least through middle. We did three years of applications to privates and I’m just done. It was a waste of time and those rejections really hurt DC. I’m burned out on privates. If the tics get better next year then maybe he can try public.

Sorry to be a downer. Just having a rough day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: no, he got rejected, as in letters saying we cannot work with this type of student.

He has high IQ/verbal and quantitative reasoning and Tourette’s syndrome. I am worried about public because one of his tics is an eye movement. Teachers think he’s cheating. He’s not. It comes and goes.

I am doing homeschool/online school at least through middle. We did three years of applications to privates and I’m just done. It was a waste of time and those rejections really hurt DC. I’m burned out on privates. If the tics get better next year then maybe he can try public.

Sorry to be a downer. Just having a rough day.

What doe the SN consultant recommend? I have experience with several of the area's SN schools. Also had an IEP in FCPS.

[Anonymous]

Consultant recommended three privates. DC was rejected from all. I found the online program myself.

[Anonymous]

My son is sounds just like yours and I hate getting blamed! If I could control everything, I would!

My DS, also 7th grade, was placed in a private by my county but although they can help his behaviors, academics are well below his ability. When I complain, I’m told it’s my fault that his behaviors don’t allow him to be in “normal” school. Ugh.

What online program are you using?

[Anonymous]

PP, I am using Oak Meadow, Mathnasium, and Khan Academy, plus some supplemental reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else have this problem?

In laws think I am making it up or exaggerating the effect on school. It has been very difficult to find a school that is willing to work with him because he is 2e, so he is homeschooled with a mix of online and homeschool curriculum. Parents think it’s my fault or that I am exaggerating that schools won’t work with him, but he has been rejected from a dozen privates, including ones recommended by educational consultants, with a great academic and behavioral record because of his SN. The homeschool is working but it’s very isolating. He is on a sports team but that is the only social outlet he gets. In the past, teachers have said I am in denial when I share his diagnosis. Other parents of kids with SN have not liked us because he is not SN enough. I’ve had parents tell me that his SN doesn’t count because he is 2e so not really SN. Parents with non SN kids have told me that they think he has a behavior problem not an SN (he has motor and minor vocal tics). They think he tics because I haven’t taught him self control.

He’s in 7th grade and his only friends are virtual through the online curriculum we use or on his sports team or summer activities.

I have never heard of anyone being rejected from a dozen privates. You mean you applied and he didn't get in, right? Anyhow, my own parents don't believe my DD is autistic (aspergers/ADHD/anxiety disorder) although it it immediately apparent. They are just of a different era and can't see it. You have to do what you think is right for your child and ignore your parents Go back to the consultant or get a new SN consultant and see what they advise. What are the 2es? (mine are 2e too).

It was probably regular privates and not SN.

If homeschooling is working, stick with it.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry, OP. I have a 2E kid, too, and we homeschooled through 7th. I didn't feel isolated but, for my kid, it was enough to have his sports team (year round), plus a couple of good friends from the neighborhood.

Are you local? My son also did a weekly nature program and made wonderful friends. I have found the homeschool community to be very warm and welcoming.

When we decided to look at private schools, I toured a range. Schools for kids with special needs, schools for advanced learners, religious schools, smaller mainstream private schools. On paper, he could have fit in at any of them. The process helped me realize a few things. First of all, I wasn't interested in *convincing* anyone to take my son. He is a mix of some extremes but he's also a great, very hard-working kid. If school wasn't enthusiastically inviting, I moved on. And second, flexibility on the part of the administration counts for a lot. My son doesn't need special education but he does need accommodations. We ended up choosing a mainstream private with a very welcoming atmosphere that is very flexible about accommodations. I know that we could have found more advanced academics elsewhere but he's being challenged in plenty more ways and it has been a great experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else have this problem?

In laws think I am making it up or exaggerating the effect on school. It has been very difficult to find a school that is willing to work with him because he is 2e, so he is homeschooled with a mix of online and homeschool curriculum. Parents think it’s my fault or that I am exaggerating that schools won’t work with him, but he has been rejected from a dozen privates, including ones recommended by educational consultants, with a great academic and behavioral record because of his SN. The homeschool is working but it’s very isolating. He is on a sports team but that is the only social outlet he gets. In the past, teachers have said I am in denial when I share his diagnosis. Other parents of kids with SN have not liked us because he is not SN enough. I’ve had parents tell me that his SN doesn’t count because he is 2e so not really SN. Parents with non SN kids have told me that they think he has a behavior problem not an SN (he has motor and minor vocal tics). They think he tics because I haven’t taught him self control.

He’s in 7th grade and his only friends are virtual through the online curriculum we use or on his sports team or summer activities.

I have never heard of anyone being rejected from a dozen privates. You mean you applied and he didn't get in, right? Anyhow, my own parents don't believe my DD is autistic (aspergers/ADHD/anxiety disorder) although it it immediately apparent. They are just of a different era and can't see it. You have to do what you think is right for your child and ignore your parents Go back to the consultant or get a new SN consultant and see what they advise. What are the 2es? (mine are 2e too).

It was probably regular privates and not SN.

If homeschooling is working, stick with it.

OP here: not true. Three were SN, but he was not the *right* SN. Too advanced and tics were not accommodated.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get your objection to public. Why wouldn’t you just say, “I’m concerned you will think my son is cheating when his eye movements make it look like he is looking at another student’s paper.” A teacher can seat him away from others, provide an alternative form of the test, have all kids use privacy folders, have him take a test in a small group in another room...any number of ways that testing could be arranged so there was no question of cheating.

There has to be more to this story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else have this problem?

In laws think I am making it up or exaggerating the effect on school. It has been very difficult to find a school that is willing to work with him because he is 2e, so he is homeschooled with a mix of online and homeschool curriculum. Parents think it’s my fault or that I am exaggerating that schools won’t work with him, but he has been rejected from a dozen privates, including ones recommended by educational consultants, with a great academic and behavioral record because of his SN. The homeschool is working but it’s very isolating. He is on a sports team but that is the only social outlet he gets. In the past, teachers have said I am in denial when I share his diagnosis. Other parents of kids with SN have not liked us because he is not SN enough. I’ve had parents tell me that his SN doesn’t count because he is 2e so not really SN. Parents with non SN kids have told me that they think he has a behavior problem not an SN (he has motor and minor vocal tics). They think he tics because I haven’t taught him self control.

He’s in 7th grade and his only friends are virtual through the online curriculum we use or on his sports team or summer activities.

I have never heard of anyone being rejected from a dozen privates. You mean you applied and he didn't get in, right? Anyhow, my own parents don't believe my DD is autistic (aspergers/ADHD/anxiety disorder) although it it immediately apparent. They are just of a different era and can't see it. You have to do what you think is right for your child and ignore your parents Go back to the consultant or get a new SN consultant and see what they advise. What are the 2es? (mine are 2e too).

It was probably regular privates and not SN.

If homeschooling is working, stick with it.

OP here: not true. Three were SN, but he was not the *right* SN. Too advanced and tics were not accommodated.

You are in the catch 22. Most of the SN privates are not for advanced or on grade level. How can tics not be accommodated? Its not like he can control them? I would think it would only be an issue if they were swear words. A good teacher would ignore them and get the kids to ignore them too. Tics are a medical condition, not a behavioral issue. I'm sorry you went through all that.

If homeschooling is working and you are able, it sounds like a good choice.