Jealous of sisters in laws
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I met my younger sister’s finances family today. I was blown away by how loving and kind they are towards her. Her future MIL ran to me as I walked up and hugged her saying she loves my sister and how lucky they are that their son fell in love with her. They spent the entire time talking about how perfect and smart and kind she is and how perfect she complements their son. Her SIL also said she loves my sister and is so excited for their wedding. Together they were joking about how they’ll keep my sister forever but are happy to trade their son if needed.
I was very touched and very happy for my sister that she found such a wonderful family to connect with. However it’s such a stark contrast to how disrespected I am among my in laws. My MIL tells me her son is too good for me and my SIL never even acknowledges that I exist. How do some people get sooo lucky? |
Anonymous
| Enjoy their love. Let them love you and you can love them. Share your horror stories and thank them for loving her and not causing drama. It will be very healing. My inlaws are great, but even my husband's sister's husband's family are wonderful to our kids and are family to us. No blood- as he and I obviously married siblings- but our kids even call his mom grandma. I hope they can be your surrogate in-laws. 'pretend' they are yours. |
Anonymous
+1 I’ve worked to make my sisters in laws family included in my own! |
Anonymous
| You pick the family too. Your sister is smart. |
Anonymous
+1 family is part of the package |
Anonymous
| I’m sorry. I could never have married someone whose family disrespected me like that. My mil is lovely and always complements me on how we (her son and I) parent, manage our household, etc. SIL and BIL are not the nicest people but we can mostly ignore them. |
Anonymous
| Sounds fake and they’re not married yet. That’s when the trouble begins. |
Anonymous
| This sounds extreme. Most people don’t have that level of adoration or your level of disdain. |
Anonymous
Maybe you should start spending more time with your sister's extended family, and less time with yours. If your sister is cool with that/nearby etc. |
Anonymous
|
My in-laws don't disrespect me to the degree you are talking about OP, but I would be very jealous of that as well. My in-laws have certainly never made me feel particularly loved or welcomed in their family. Everyone is polite and it is fine, but I don't consider them a source of support.
What is your own family like, OP? My family is also not particularly kind towards me. I think that's one of the reasons I wasn't necessarily put off when my husband's family wasn't super friendly. But as time goes on, it makes me sad that I am part of two families and neither seem to care that much about me. It's very isolating. |
Anonymous
|
Luck? Luck nothing.
If that's what you wanted, you should have left DH when you were still only married or engaged and they treated you coldly. You accepted their treatment of you, and doubled down on that acceptence when you accepted the ring. You tripled down when you said vows. Your choices, and own them, OP. |
Anonymous
Compliments. She COMPLIMENTS you. |
Anonymous
| I hear you, OP. I think it comes down to dynamics. My family is inclusive. People are welcomed. My in-laws, especially MIL view anyone not in the nuclear family (that includes those who married into it) as "outsiders." It's as if we/they are a threat to her time with and attention from her own children. It's difficult not to take it personally but it's really not personal, it's just her style. She ends up losing out on truly sharing with new people who are ready and willing to love her and the kicker is that those people love her children (enough to have happy, supportive marriages with them). It's sad but it's doubtful that you will change your in-laws. |
Anonymous
Ever heard of autocorrect? |
Anonymous
| fiance |