Talk me through my miscarriage

[Anonymous]

I have 3 children. This was our surprise 4th, but I'm miscarrying - development stopped at 5 weeks, I'm technically at 10 now. I haven't done this before. This is day 2, my low back is sore/tight but I wouldn't say I'm feeling cramping. I haven't used the cytotec since my body seems to be doing this on its own. Bleeding isn't bad at this point either. Is this about what it will be like? Does it get worse?

[Anonymous]

If development and hormones are at the 5 week level, it may not get much worse than this. I've had 3 miscarriages at the 5-6 week mark and they're like extra heavy periods. Your next cycle may be a bit funny and possibly longer if ovulation is delayed, so don't stress if things aren't back to normal. I'm sorry you're going through this, it's so hard regardless of the circumstances. Best to you.

[Anonymous]

Im so sorry you're going through this. I had 2 natural miscarriages. One at 10 weeks development and one at 6. The one at 6 was a really heavy period with a lot of cramps and was over in one night. The 10 weeks one was very bad, came on suddenly and i passed a large amount of tissue which was recognizable. I don't wish that on anyone. You may still experience some heavier bleeding and cramping. Really depends on hour uterus and cervix. Take care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 children. This was our surprise 4th, but I'm miscarrying - development stopped at 5 weeks, I'm technically at 10 now. I haven't done this before. This is day 2, my low back is sore/tight but I wouldn't say I'm feeling cramping. I haven't used the cytotec since my body seems to be doing this on its own. Bleeding isn't bad at this point either. Is this about what it will be like? Does it get worse?

I’m very sorry. I don’t don’t think there is a uniform way that this happens for everyone. Some people do have bad cramps and bleeding. I lost a pregnancy where development stopped around 5 weeks, but I found out way before 10 weeks because I was being monitored closely by a fertility clinic. I had some spotting around 5 weeks, but no significant bleeding. They told me I would likely experience cramping and the bleeding would be like a heavier-than-normal period. I spent many days waiting, dreading when and where it might start, but nothing happened. I had to keep getting blood draws twice a week to make sure my HCG level was falling. I kept asking why nothing was happening, and the nurse told me it probably wouldn’t happen until my HCG was below 100. It took a almost 3 weeks for my HCG to fall enough that I was no longer clinically considered pregnant (less than 5). Eventually, I had a normal period. Apparently, my body just absorbed the extra tissue.

I know it takes time for the heartache to heal, but I hope your physical healing happens quickly.

[Anonymous]

Op here — thank you for these responses. Just passed a sizeable amount of tissue in addition to what must be the sac. That was a little jarring and unexpected and sad. So I guess that’s it?

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry. I had a missed miscarriage around the same time and I passed a lot of tissue but think the placenta did grow some even though the embryo didn’t (had to use Cytotec). I think once the sac is out usually it’ll lessen but definitely check with your doctor. I was pretty much physically fine the next day, but again I used Cytotec so most of it came out in one night. Bleeding at a much lighter level continued for a week or so for me.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m so so sorry this happened to you. Give yourself time to feel whatever you need to feel.

I went through this three weeks ago - was 8 weeks and measured on time. Passed big clots the first two days with what I call gushes of blood. After day 2, bleeding was like a period for about 5 days. Was done bleeding by day 7.

Emotionally, I felt a “bit” better after the bleeding stopped. I felt that the bleeding was a constant reminder of what happened. Best wishes to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m so so sorry this happened to you. Give yourself time to feel whatever you need to feel.

I went through this three weeks ago - was 8 weeks and measured on time. Passed big clots the first two days with what I call gushes of blood. After day 2, bleeding was like a period for about 5 days. Was done bleeding by day 7.

Emotionally, I felt a “bit” better after the bleeding stopped. I felt that the bleeding was a constant reminder of what happened. Best wishes to you.

DP. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s very generous of you to reach out to someone else in pain when this is still so fresh for you.

OP, I hope the worst is behind you. Know that people are thinking of you and wishing you healing.

[Anonymous]

Make sure to do a follow up to confirm everything is gone. Have a discussion with your husband and OB about new permanent birth control. You are most fertile after a miscarriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make sure to do a follow up to confirm everything is gone. Have a discussion with your husband and OB about new permanent birth control. You are most fertile after a miscarriage.

OP here — thank you for this. I have a follow up in 10 days or so. I didn’t realize fertility was higher after a miscarriage and will totally act accordingly. That said, what this loss has shown me is maybe we can make room for a 4th in our lives. Which feels ridiculous when we are already a circus. And also feels like too many trips to the well when we have been so blessed already. I have been so shocked by the complete slurry of contradictory feelings associated with this pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure to do a follow up to confirm everything is gone. Have a discussion with your husband and OB about new permanent birth control. You are most fertile after a miscarriage.

OP here — thank you for this. I have a follow up in 10 days or so. I didn’t realize fertility was higher after a miscarriage and will totally act accordingly. That said, what this loss has shown me is maybe we can make room for a 4th in our lives. Which feels ridiculous when we are already a circus. And also feels like too many trips to the well when we have been so blessed already. I have been so shocked by the complete slurry of contradictory feelings associated with this pregnancy.

Op, please give yourself time to heal physically and emotionally.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I was also pregnant with #4 ( surprise baby as well) and just miscarried on 10/8 at 8 weeks. Physically i was very lucky. It wasn’t that painful and happened over the course of a few days. You’re not alone. Best wishes to you and I will pray for your sweet baby.