What would Pat Robertson say?

[Anonymous]

Okay, here's a game to pass the time. We haven't heard yet from Pat Robertson about what evil things we who live in the metro DC region have done to deserve this storm. Why do you think God is punishing us? I'll go first:

God's punishing us because we put our batteries in the trash rather than taking them to the hazmat transfer station.

[Anonymous]

No, I know -- it was the 5 cent charge for plastic bags. God hates local governments dinging the consumer for plastic bags. So socialist!

[jsteele]

This is easy. The DC Council legalized gay marriage. The snow is keeping Congress closed and preventing the law from passing Congressional review.

[Anonymous]

Well, since this is the seat of the Federal Government, this is like shooting fish in the barrel.

God is punishing us for not allowing prayer in schools.

God is punishing us for taking the Ten Commandments out of public courthouses.

God is punishing us for allowing gays in the military.

God is punishing us for abortion.

God is punishing us for socialized medicine.

God is punishing us for pretty much everything but social security, because those pay checks are the source of 90% of his funding.

[Anonymous]

God is punishing DC because we're on the cusp of legalizing gay marriage, which is an abomination. Abominations bring abominable snowstorms.

See? It's like a riddle.

Now everyone's stuck at home with cabin fever, having all kinds of abominable consentual relations and we're going to get another storm on Monday. More abominable behavior ensues... Folks, I fear we may be in for a loooooong winter. Please stop having abominable you-know-what because my kids need to get back to school.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

True story. Around the same time that the Devil was hanging out in Haiti kicking French butt, Jefferson and the Masons cut a deal with Satan's lobbyist to separate church and state. The curse can only be lifted when all the sinners are drowned in a flood of tea (bags)...