Psychological Abuse

[Anonymous]

DH is a psychologically abusive, has been that way for years, volatile, rages, highly sensitive. Everyone walks on eggshells around him. Several of my friends don't visit anywhere because he makes them feel very uncomfortable. Fortunately, my parents and siblings are still around but they also are uncomfortable around him. I stay in the marriage because we have a DC with mental health issues. Despite DH's issues, he is good to the children for the most part. Another reason I've stayed is because it's expensive to live in this area and maintain two households. Deep down, I also know that he would make my life HELL when/if I decide to leave. I've been pretty strong keeping the family together. However, lately, the whole situation has hit me. I feel confused (all the time), sometimes, I feel like I'm losing my mind because I'm confused, feeling depressed, feel like crying a lot, I have trouble sleeping, cannot focus, constant feeling of humiliation. Not even sure where to start. Perhaps this is a sign that it's time to leave the marriage no matter how difficult the process will be. I was hoping to hang in there another 4 years for the children to be older.

[Anonymous]

You are broken. You should seek therapy before making any major decisions.

[Anonymous]

I say this to you as the parent of 2 kids with depression and a mentally ill exH who was emotionally abusive despite being a “good dad and husband in some surface ways. Your mentally ill kid can’t be healthy until he is in a safe environment. You are being harmed by exposing yourself to abuse over years.

Yes, it is difficult, but you have to get out. You have friends and family who understand what is happening and will help you get out if you ask. Get a lawyer. Get a therapist. Make a plan.

Life is hard but it can be so much better.

50% of the time in one healthy loving home is something your kid needs.

I ended the marriage when my kids were 18 months and 5 years old.

[Anonymous]

When did the abuse start? How old are your DCs? (You don't have to answer that if you don't feel comfortable.)

I'm in a similar situation with a toddler, but the abuse isn't severe, and it only started after our child was born.

Best of luck. If only us moms escaping marriages could pool our resources together to afford good housing.

[Anonymous]

Odds of finding a credible therapist in an anonymous forum are pretty slim OP.

You may wanna reconsider relying on the general public at large when it comes to getting advice/help for yourself and your situation.

I’d suggest you reach out to a licensed therapist whom you can go over these issues together with 1-on-1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When did the abuse start? How old are your DCs? (You don't have to answer that if you don't feel comfortable.)

I'm in a similar situation with a toddler, but the abuse isn't severe, and it only started after our child was born.

Best of luck. If only us moms escaping marriages could pool our resources together to afford good housing.

There were red flags that I stupidly missed before marriage. It started when we got married but has gotten worse through the year. We have one DC in 6th grade, and one who just started middle school.