Condolence gesture besides flowers for SIL's husband?

[Anonymous]

My husband's sister's husband lost his dad last week. It's an uneven relationship. We've reached out but not heard back. Anyway, should flowers be the gesture or something else? We received flowers from friends when husband and SIL's dad died and one friend sent $100 with a message to buy Effen vodka. I guess I want to honor their loss but dont know if better to be safe with generic flowers or sorry by trying to be creatively thoughtful (not alcohol $ per se, but specific charitable donation). Or last option - let husband handle it?

[Anonymous]

Charitable donation & flowers. And handwritten note from husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Charitable donation & flowers. And handwritten note from husband.

Thank you, PP.

[Anonymous]

Charitable donation, food and card with handwritten message. But I’m Jewish and we always do food over flowers. It doesn’t need to be homemade. You can send them something from a restaurant if you live nearby or from a nice online place.

[Anonymous]

Flowers and a note are always appreciated.

[Anonymous]

In the jewish religion nobody sends flowers. You send food.

[Anonymous]

Um, you don't expect to "hear back" during GRIEF. Support goes in, not out.

Drop your absurd expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, you don't expect to "hear back" during GRIEF. Support goes in, not out.

Drop your absurd expectations.

Hitting submit on this must've been such the dopamine rush for you...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Charitable donation, food and card with handwritten message. But I’m Jewish and we always do food over flowers. It doesn’t need to be homemade. You can send them something from a restaurant if you live nearby or from a nice online place.

Food sounds great. Not sure why that didn't cross my mind but vodka did. We'll go with that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Charitable donation, food and card with handwritten message. But I’m Jewish and we always do food over flowers. It doesn’t need to be homemade. You can send them something from a restaurant if you live nearby or from a nice online place.

This is what I do. Being Jewish my parents always taught us to have a tree planted in the deceased name as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Charitable donation, food and card with handwritten message. But I’m Jewish and we always do food over flowers. It doesn’t need to be homemade. You can send them something from a restaurant if you live nearby or from a nice online place.

Food sounds great. Not sure why that didn't cross my mind but vodka did. We'll go with that!

They will really appreciate that OP.

[Anonymous]

food

[Anonymous]

Offer assistance in whatever you can do (if there are kids, babysitting or house/pet sitting if they need to travel) otherwise food is good or a donation if requested by the family

[Anonymous]

This is your BIL and your husband should probably do more for his sister than send flowers. He should reach out, see what he can do to help her during this challenging time. Honestly if my DH died and my SIL just sent flowers I'd be doubly heartbroken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is your BIL and your husband should probably do more for his sister than send flowers. He should reach out, see what he can do to help her during this challenging time. Honestly if my DH died and my SIL just sent flowers I'd be doubly heartbroken.

It is the father of SIL’s husband.